Paper Covers Rock

Anshuman Iddamsetty is straight up on that kryptonite.

OMG PCR. Welcome to the latest edition of news and gossip from the gutters of the St. John’s music scene.

3 Bahs in a Punk Band Drop New CD
“At this point it feels fucking amazing. The master copies are coming in tonight, all the worries are gone. Gone!”

Blair Tulk is the vocalist for St. John’s punk three-piece First Offence. The band, made up of Tulk, bassist Brad Tulk, and new drummer Justin Guzzwell are ready to drop their debut album this week.

Titled An Army of None, and released on Tulk’s own label, Secular Records, the album will feature twelve tracks of ear-melting punx, and promises to bring the thrashes to the masses. According to Tulk, the record was roughly five years in the making, spanning songs written back with the band’s old drummer, Josh Bannister.

“Fast, aggressive, melodic punk is how I would describe it, I guess… It’s about stuff going on in the world, why we do the things we do… real social commentary.”

But the dudes aren’t planning on a vacation just yet; Not only have First Offence finished writing the lyrics for their second album, they’re in the early stages of a new split EP with local saints of thrash, Dig Up The Dead.

“I’m very stoked about it… (We’re) both trying to record new stuff sometime in September. Trust me: we have lots of plans for loads of shit going on…”

The First Offence CD release show is on August 16, at Distortion. Cover is $5 and will also feature local bands Braveyard, Weapon, and Kill Popoff.

Hardcore Show Approved by Local Sketch!
It’s on! In an event that may go off harder than Victory Records’ last Santa Mosh (, hardcore screamers Misery Signals and pals Shai Halud, Human Abstract, Means, and others will play a little afternoon delight aptly titled “ShredFest.”

But don’t take my word for it—this is an actual conversation I had with a random Hessian while looking at the show’s poster downtown:

Metal as fuck dude: “MAN. You have to go to SHREDFEST!!!”
Me: “Oh yeah? So it’s worth checking out?”
Metal as fuck dude: “YIS MAN! It’ll kick your nutsack!! Serious!”

I felt like I had stumbled into Heavy Metal Parking Lot. I should just collect all my crucial quotes from folkloric wandering metal dudes from now on.

Shredfest drops on the scene on August 25 for the bar show and August 26 for the all-ages set. Tickets are $18 advance, $22 at the door. Every high-school kid with a Dillinger Escape Plan t-shirt is going to be on top of this (plus at least one haggard-looking metalhead.)

Sax Player Headin’ West
Tyrannosaurus sax Greg Bruce will be leaving Funky Dory this January. Bruce was accepted to study Jazz Toronto’s Humber College and was ready to go this fall, but decided to delay his departure due to a few ‘crew commitments.

“…I was supposed to leave in September, but East Rock Crew is planning a province-wide tour that could take up to two months so I’m sticking around for that,” said Bruce in an e-mail conversation.

“I won’t be able to enrol in the program in the winter, but I’m just going to go up and take lessons. I look forward to working on my hip-hop as well (B-Boyin’ and MCin’).”

As for Funky Dory, Bruce will be replaced by The Idler’s sax-man Chris Harnett. (Are those two bands going to merge or something?)

Anyway, best of luck, dude!