Battleship: The Motion Picture is no longer a joke filmgoers make at Hollywood’s expense, but a joke Universal Studios urges us to pay to see so they can laugh at us. What makes the joke even richer is the fact that the studio didn’t go the obvious route with Battleship and make a Hunt For Red October rip-off—no, they must’ve consulted Scully and Mulder on the script, because the answer to all their script problems was ‘aliens.’
To adapt a board game into a movie all you have to do is take a stock plot and throw in clichés. Here’s a handy Mad-Lib formula you can use to create your own bland focus group product designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
Operation: Adam Sandler is a hotshot surgeon who has it all: two kids (played by Rob Schneider and Alf), a loving wife (Ashley Olsen) and a wisecracking uncle (Jeffrey Tambor) on the run from the mob. However, Dr. Sandler still spends most of his time at the office. His wife gives him an ultimatum: spend more time with the kids or consider the possibility of divorce. Dr. Sandler is set to take the kids camping until James (played by Kevin James) shows up at his clinic. James exhibits every disease known to man and the one cure is taking out all his bones. Will Dr. Sandler find time for his kids? Will he stand up to the evil head of the HMO (Super Dave Osborne)? The answers await you in Operation: it’s 10 cc’s of laughter!
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