Thunderstorm… he’s the kind of action figure you’d find at the Dollar Store: familiar, but somehow completely wrong. A miscoloured Iron Man head, a plastic hammer, and a Batman chest plate. He’s a superhero Frankenstein, in the least awesome way possible. In fact, the chest plate’s still got the flaps where the cape used to attach. And immovable arms. And, he’s shot almost exclusively from the waist up. It’s not good.
The plot is similarly smorgasbordesque, cobbled together from the vaguely recalled secret origins of most superheroes: average joe, talented inventor, tragic loss, ancient prophecy, immortal intervention, pending apocalypse, flamboyant villain. Though it has all the parts of two or more superhero movies, it also lacks everything that makes superheroes interesting.
Despite the title, this movie does not feature the return of Thor. Along with the dumb title, the most bizarre thing about this movie is something from the trailer: Thunderstorm is based on a comic book character. Sure enough, this movie is, however loosely, based on the comic “Thor”. But it’s not Marvel Comics’ “Thor”. It’s “Thor” of Fox Comics, a publisher that went out of business in the 1950’s, in the peak of the Golden Age of comics. Since most of the Fox Comics characters are now in the public domain, here is a list of other Fox Comics characters that should make the leap to the moving pictures:
- Black Fury and Kid Fury – Vigilante gossip columnists.
- The Bouncer – Greek statue with superhuman strength and ability to bounce. Also wears a skirt.
- Dart & Ace – superstrong spandexed superfriends, trained in the art of Roman wrestling.
- The Gorilla with the Human Brain
- Marga the Panther Woman, or Rulah the Jungle Goddess, or Tegra the Jungle Princess
- The Rapier – Contender for most unfortunate superhero name of all time.
- Stardust, the Super Wizard – Not your average wizard.
- The Topper