The Cottage (2012)

Oct 19 2012

Oh, the perils of renting! You never know what you’re going to get. Sure, Robert Mars (David Arquette) might seem like a charming, weirdly handsome writer, but before you know it he’ll be secretly dating your teenage daughter, killing your best friend and stealing your newborn baby! ALWAYS CHECK REFERENCES YOU GUYS.

While at first we had trouble believing Arquette as “the bad guy,” by the end of the movie we were completely creeped out by his disturbing behaviour and underage bride factory. SERIOUSLY. DAVID ARQUETTE AS THE LEADER OF A CULT OF TEENAGED BRIDES. THAT IS WHAT THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT.

Anyway, this mostly seems like a really awesome Lifetime movie of the week, we wouldn’t necessarily recommend it, but if it was on TV we’d probably leave it on. You’ll also be privy to a shot of David Arquette’s rear end, so you might want to either keep your eyes peeled, or watch the whole thing through your fingers in horror depending on your tastes.

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