Heavenly Bodies (1984)

Heavenly Bodies (1984) review for thescope.ca by 24 Hours to Midnight: The Blog!
As the title suggests, Heavenly Bodies (1984) tells the tale of the eternal struggle between those titans of the mid-Eighties: the scrappy community centre and the greedy developer. In this particular film, our heroes are the owners of a spunky dance studio, where the instructors are classically trained in the art of dancerize (or aerobadance, if you prefer). They work hard, and if you guessed that they play hard, you’d be right!

Heavenly Bodies (1984)

Pre-teen boys be warned: For a film that’s a Playboy co-production, Heavenly Bodies is surpringly coy when it comes to nudity. You can expect a lot of long, leering shots of ladies in leggings and those high-waisted underpants that are hiked up so as to obscure the abdomen and accentuate the vulvular area. We get boobs courtesy of a strip-o-gram stripper, and then again later when our heroine finally gives it up to her lunkhead boyfriend. When he does, he lays her gingerly on the bed in soft focus. This is not the quality of shameful late night softcore we have come to expect after sitting through 45 minutes of montages!

Amidst the spandex and legwarmers and inner-city zoning law intrigue, we found our #1 summer jams in the Heavenly Bodies soundtrack (get it on tape at Woolwoorth’s or through Columbia House for just one penny!). We’re shocked that the Heavenly Bodies soundtrack isn’t heard blasting through the streets when the temperature rises and people get their speakers up in their windows (and frankly, St. John’s needs something to replace “It Wasn’t Me”). The soundtrack will fuel your body so that you too can dance your way to righteous victory over your enemies.

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