Evil Bong (2006)

Jun 25 2012

Evil Bong, Hey man, smoke a j Get whisked away to strip club Hot bong seduction

As you may have gleaned from the painfully literal title, this movie features a mystical bong with bad intentions and a bunch of crappy twentysomethings getting stoned to death. You’d have to be pretty inebriated to find any genuine scares here, but luckily it’s billed as a horror-comedy. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and delivers some solid laughs along the way.

An evil bong is delivered to a cluttered apartment, which was evidently decorated by someone who scoured the Imaginus poster fair for every available psychedelic mushroom and intricate cannabis leaf design. Sure enough, the place is inhabited by overenthusiastic frat boys who want nothing more than to plunge into their disgusting couch and go to town on that hefty bong. And do they ever.

Something appears amiss, however, as the boys drift off in a smoky haze and find themselves in some kind of sexy after-hours strip club, surrounded by beautiful women. At first glance, they’re obviously excited about this prospect, but one guy winds up dead as he succumbs to the seduction of the bong’s illusions.

The bong itself is revealed to be an anthropomorphous artifact hellbent on sucking the life force out of anyone who puts their lips to hers. Yes, it’s a her. To be specific, the bong is curiously akin to one of our favorite bad movie/television tropes, the sassy black woman, and her name is Eebee. Amid screams of “Work it, honey!” and “Bitchhhhh!”, our team of loser potheads are picked off one by one.

Oh, but the day is saved by the nerd protagonist, who predictably gives himself over to the sexy bong in order to enter the strip-club reality, and in turn loses his virginity. With the help of none other than Tommy Chong, the smack-talkin’ bong is obliterated and everyone’s mellow is unharshed.

But during the credits, the voice of Eebee can be heard proclaiming that she will return as the king bong! And so, she apparently returns for Evil Bong 2: King Bong and Evil Bong 3-D: The Wrath of Bong. I won’t spoil anything for future installments, but you can probably rest assured there are boatloads of naked ladies and stoned goofy guys to ogle them.

You may be interested to know the whole trilogy was directed by Charles Band, who is known for Re-Animator and the Puppet Master series. More likely, you’re┬ájust interested in hitting your own bong and letting this ridiculous farce roll over you. Enjoy!

2 responses so far

  1. This is awesome.

  2. Love it!