Frances Beatrix lets you in on a little secret about female ejaculation.
Dear Frances B,
What’s the deal with female ejaculation? Can only some people do it? How do you know when you’re peeing and when you’re ejaculating? I’m not grossed out by pee but I don’t want to freak somebody out by peeing on them.
– Wannabe Fountain of Love
Female ejaculation is a healthful, somewhat mysterious, and highly pleasurable experience that involves expressing a warm jet of sex fluid produced in the female prostate (a.k.a the g-spot) out through the urethra. And it’s all about muscle tone in your vagina.
If you can put your fingers up in yourself and squeeze them tight with your vaginal walls, get the towels! If you feel your fingers but don’t know how to squeeze them, then it’s likely you’re going to need to do some toning stuff like Kegels before you can ejaculate. It’s great to have a strong vagina. (Yes, you can quote me.)
According to Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl, every woman is physically able to ejaculate.
Most of us have never heard of the idea. Throughout history, women who experienced ejaculation and called up their doctors all confused have been falsely diagnosed with urinary incontinence. But, three key American studies in the 80’s showed not only that female ejaculation has been “known and discussed since the seventeenth century”, but also that ejaculate is produced in a woman’s prostate, unlike urine which is produced in the bladder. And ejaculate has a different composition.
We’ve all heard reams about the “g-spot” but the word “spot” is actually a little misleading. The prostate is more of an area – if you slide your finger a little ways inside your vagina, it is the spongy area right at your fingertips, towards the front of your body, and stretches about the length and a couple times the width of your finger. It’s interesting to note that you can actually ejaculate without having an orgasm – by caressing, rubbing, and squeezing the prostate until it fills with ejaculate (which you can feel with your fingers as a general swelling of the area). This takes a while, and it can feel exactly like you have to pee. Because of this, many women resist the urge to ‘let go’ and hold the ejaculate back rather than releasing it. It’s probably a good idea to talk about female ejaculation with your lover so they don’t freak out when you suddenly squirt a half-cup onto them. Ejaculate smells milder than urine and is clear, not yellow. But it can sometimes have a faintly pee-like scent.
Practicing for a while on your own is always a great idea.
As well as being a fascinating study on the subject, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot (notably subtitled: Not Your Mother’s Orgasm Book!) is also a hot and really, really fun guidebook which had our humble author drenching mirrors on her first try. Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot (© Deborah Sundahl 2003, Hunter House Publishers) is available online at www.hunterhouse.com, or ask your local bookstore to order it in.
email frances at firstname.lastname@example.org or mail your questions to frances c/o the scope, po box 1044, st. john’s, a1m 5m3.