The Scope

Free Will Astrology

Happy birthday to Leslie Pierce, Jordan Canning, Carolyn Stokes, Rick Boland, Sarah Hillock, Ross Barney, Edward Tanasychuk, Matthew Sheppard, and Jason Sellars. Send birthday info to birthday@thescope.ca

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Can you force things to grow? Is it possible to induce ripening simply by aggressively exerting your willpower? Normally I’d say no, but these days I think it’s within your capacity. Don’t misunderstand. I’m not saying you could go up to a tomato plant and magically transform mid-size green tomatoes into big orange beauties. But from a metaphorical perspective, you could accomplish something like that. What fragile bud would benefit from bursts of your vitality? What sweet young thing might thrive with your invigorating help?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In James Hillman’s book *The Dream and the Underworld,* he says something I’ve heard from other researchers — that the majority of dreams we have each night are unpleasant. But that’s not true for me. Way more than 50% of mine are educational, entertaining, and not at all bad or scary. Quite a few have jokes and riddles. Most stretch my understanding of how the world works and motivate me to get smarter about what I’ve been ignorant about. As you enter the Intense Dreaming Phase of your cycle, Virgo, I suspect your nocturnal adventures will resemble mine. Get ready to encounter intriguing characters who’ll have the power to heal you. Talking animals may give you righteous clues about upcoming waking-life decisions. A mercurial teacher could relieve you of a delusion. The wind and rain may play music that dissolves your fear.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): During the Tang Dynasty, a golden age of Chinese culture, educated people didn’t use cliched salutations to begin and end their encounters with each other. No “Hi, how you doing?” or “See you later. Take care.” Instead, they improvised creatively, composing poetic riffs appropriate for the occasion. “Your face is especially bright today. Are you expecting to see a lucky cloud?” or “I’ll bask in your glories again later. In the meantime, may you find a brisk blend of elegance and mischief.” I’d love to see you do something like that, Libra. It’s prime time to boost your alliances to a higher octave. Give more to your collaborators, and ask for more, too.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I admire people who sweat freely and abundantly while they’re working hard at what they love to do. Singer James Brown, “The Godfather of Soul,” was renowned for his sweltering floods, and so is baseball player Pablo Sandoval. But many unfamous people I’ve known would also be top candidates for King and Queen of Sacred Sweat, like my friend Julia, who practices her passion in the garden, and my friend Luke, who welds giant metal sculptures. I’m hoping you will come into your own as one of this elite group, Scorpio. The omens suggest you’d be wise to raise the heat in your alchemical furnace.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The wind coming off the creek has picked up in the last half hour, and so the branches of the lemon tree outside my office window are swaying vehemently in the late afternoon sun. Is the tree upset? No. Is it worried or offended or angry at the wind? Of course not. From what I can tell, it’s enjoying the raucous movement. I can even imagine that it knows how lucky it is: It wouldn’t be able to dance so expressively without the help of the gusts. I hope you’ll interpret your experiences in the coming weeks with a similar perspective, Sagittarius.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): While flying over water, an eagle can spot a fish swimming from 300 feet away. As it prowls through a winter landscape, a coyote can detect the presence of a mouse bustling beneath thick snow. I suspect you’ll have a comparable knack for tuning in to things that are of keen interest, Capricorn, even if they are hidden or located at a distance. To maximize your advantage, get clear about what you’re hungry for. Build a vivid image in your mind’s eye of what you need.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Lola, a woman I know, has mastered the art of self-contradiction. She makes no apologies for the apparent oppositions she gladly contains. For instance, she’s perfectly at ease with the fact that she is not only a lesbian anarchist skater punk who’s a prolific graffiti artist, but also a devout Christian who doesn’t consume drugs or alcohol, drives a Lexus SUV, and volunteers as a massage therapist at a hospice. Your internal paradoxes may or may not be as extreme as hers, Aquarius, but I urge you to express them with the panache that she does.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My friend Erica went to a Chinese herbalist, seeking help for a skin problem that hadn’t been healed by six other doctors. “Very rare condition,” the herbalist told her. There was only one thing he knew that would work: Erica would have to travel to the Ruoergai Marshes in Sichuan Province, China and track down a White-tailed Eagle, whose fresh droppings she would gather up and apply to the affected areas of her skin. As the prospect of such a pilgrimage was daunting, Erica decided instead to simply *imagine* herself carrying it out. After a week of such meditations, her skin had improved. In 21 days, she wasn’t completely cured, but she was much better. The moral of the story, Pisces: Simply visualizing a heroic healing quest may help fix your glitch.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Success coach Tom Ferry says our ability to pursue our dreams can be damaged by four addictions: 1. an addiction to what other people think of us; 2. an addiction to creating melodrama in a misguided quest for excitement; 3. an addiction to believing we’re imprisoned by what happened in the past; 4. an addiction to negative thoughts that fill us with anxiety. The good news, Aries, is that in the coming weeks you will find it easier than usual to free yourself from addictions 1, 3, and 4. On the other hand, you may be extra susceptible to addiction 2. So take action to make sure you don’t fall victim to it! What can you do to avoid distracting adventures and trivial brouhahas?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Some of the biggest whales feed primarily on tiny organisms like protozoa, algae, and krill. They swim around with their mouths open, gulping seawater, using filtering structures in their upper jaws to sieve out the stuff they want to eat. Their strategy for getting a meal has resemblances to an approach you may benefit from using: sifting through a lot of superfluous material to get the rich basics you seek. Discernment isn’t the only skill you’ll need; relaxed patience will be crucial, too.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You know about World War II, but do you know about the planet’s worst conflict since then? It was the Second Congo War, involving eight African nations and killing 5.4 million people between 1998 and 2006. You’re painfully aware of the oil hemorrhage in the Gulf of Mexico, but have you heard about the equally horrific catastrophe that an American oil company wreaked on Ecuador from the early 1960s until 1992 (tinyurl.com/EcuadorOil)? I bring these things up, Gemini, because now is an excellent time for you to fill in gaps in your education and learn the rest of any story that you’ve been missing — not just concerning events in the world but also in regards to your personal history. P.S. Much of what you find, unlike the Congo War and the Ecuadorian oil disaster, may be good news.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A psychic in Colorado was arrested for bilking her clients. Nancy Marks allegedly told people that their money was possessed by nasty spirits, and that the best solution was to hand the money over to her. The cops claim she collected 290,000 of the evil dollars before she was nabbed. My message to you, Cancerian, is very different from the psychic’s warning: Your bank account has a divine blessing on it. At least temporarily, this makes you a kind of cash magnet; you have an unusual power to attract legal tender. Take advantage! Say this sacred mantra: “O monnee gimmee summ.”

Homework: What are the conditions you’d need in your world in order to feel like you were living in paradise? Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

Free Will Astrology

Birthdays this month: Happy birthday to Paul Habit, Adam Baxter, Martin Connelly, John Duff, Tara Fleming, Will Gill, Keith Dunne, Bart Pierson, Neddal Ayad, Phil Churchill, Ryan Davis, and Krissy Holmes. Send birthday info to birthday@thescope.ca

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
How well have you been attending to 2010’s major themes, Gemini? Since we’re midway through the year, let’s do a check-in. I hope that by now you are at least 15 percent sturdier, stronger, and braver than you’ve ever been in your entire life, and at least 20 percent better organized and disciplined. I hope that you have outgrown one of your amateur approaches and claimed a new professional privilege. Now write the following questions on a slip of paper that you will leave taped to your mirror for the next six months. “1. How can I get closer to making my job and my vocation be the same thing? 2. What am I doing to become an even more robust and confident version of myself?”

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Let’s do a check-in on your progress so far in 2010, Cancerian. The year’s half over, and I’m wondering if you’ve been cashing in on the unique invitations that life has been sending your way. The way I understand it, you’ve been summoned to emerge from your hiding place and go wandering around in exotic and unfamiliar places. Events that in the past may have turned you inward toward thoughts of safety have in recent months nudged you out in the direction of the Great Unknown. Have you been honest enough with yourself to recognize the call to adventure? Have you been wild and free enough to answer the call? If not, I suggest you find it in yourself to do so. The next six months will be prime time to head out on a glorious quest.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
The year’s half over, Leo. Let’s take an inventory to see whether you’ve been taking maximum advantage of the special opportunities life has been offering you. Consider these questions: Has the quality of your intimate alliances become especially intense, invigorating, and catalytic in recent months? Have you created lots of small miracles with the people you care about most? Have you been willing to risk more to get the most out of togetherness, even if it means dealing with shadowy stuff that makes you uncomfortable? If there has been anything missing from your efforts in these heroic tasks, get to work. Between now and January 2011, you’ll have a mandate to go even deeper than you have since January 2010.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
So how is 2010 going for you so far, Virgo? Have you been taking advantage of life’s offers to help you move into a dynamic new phase of your relationship life? Have you been willing to set aside tired old strategies for seeking intimacy so that you can discover approaches you’ve never imagined before? Have you been brave about overcoming the past traumas and hurts that scared you into accepting less than the very best alliances you could seek? I hope you’ve been pursuing these improvements, because this is the best year in over a decade to accomplish them.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
Have you been doing a lot of sweating and grunting from sheer exertion in 2010? Have you thrown yourself conscientiously into the hardest, smartest labor you’ve ever enjoyed? I hope so, because that would suggest you’re in rapt alignment with this year’s cosmic rhythms. It would mean that you have been cashing in on the rather sublime opportunities you’re being offered to diligently prove how much you love your life. The next six months will provide you with even more and better prods, Libra, so please find even deeper reserves of determination. Intensify your commitment to mastering the work you came to this planet to do.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
How’s that project coming, Scorpio? You know, that assignment the universe gave you at the beginning of 2010 to loosen up, play more, and periodically laugh like a tipsy Sagittarius. Have you been taking a sabbatical from the seething complications that in most other years are your rightful specialty? Did you throw some of your emotional baggage off a cliff? Are you dancing more frequently? I hope you’ve been attending to all of this crucial work, and I trust that you’re primed to do even more of it during the next six months. To take maximum advantage of your appointments with relief and release, you’ll have to be even sweeter and lighter.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
Are you a dynamic bastion of stability yet, Sagittarius? Have you been growing deeper and deeper roots as you bloom in your power spot? Are you continuing to build your self-mastery as you draw abundant sustenance from the mother lode? You’re halfway through 2010, the year when these wonders should be unfolding with majestic drama. The best is yet to come, so I recommend that you declare your intention to make the next six months be a time when you come all the way home.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
What are the toughest pairs of opposites in your life, Capricorn? What are the polarities whose different sides rarely resonate with each other and too often threaten to split you in half? One of the distinguishing characteristics of 2010 is the fact that you are getting unprecedented chances to bring them together in ringing harmony, or at least a more interesting tension. What have you learned so far about how to work that magic? And how can you apply it in even craftier ways during the next six months?

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
You may still be gnawed by a longing for your life to be different from what it is. You might fantasize that you’re missing a crucial element that would, if acquired, usher you into a Golden Age. But I’ve been analyzing the big picture of your destiny, Aquarius, and here’s what I see: This year you’re being offered the chance to be pretty satisfied with the messy, ambiguous, fantastically rich set of circumstances that you’ve actually been blessed with. The first half of 2010 should have inspired you to flirt with this surprising truth. The second half will drive it home with the force of a pile of gifts left anonymously on your doorstep.

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
The journal Nature recently marked the tenth anniversary of a great scientific triumph: the complete mapping of the human genome. There was a cloud over the celebration, however, because few practical health benefits have yet to come out of this revolutionary accomplishment. It has proved unexpectedly hard to translate the deciphered code into cures for diseases. I offer this situation as a cautionary tale for you, Pisces. The first part of 2010 has brought you several important discoveries and breakthroughs. In the coming months, even as the novelties continue to flow, it’ll be your sacred duty to put them to use in ways that will permanently improve your day-to-day life. Unlike the case of the human genome, your work should meet with success.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
How well are you capitalizing on this year’s unique opportunities, Aries? Since we’re halfway through 2010, let’s take an inventory. I’m hoping you’re well underway in the heroic task of conquering your past. It has been and will continue to be prime time for you to wean yourself from unresolvable energy-drains. So exorcise irksome ghosts, please! Pay off ancient debts! Free yourself from memories that don’t serve you! You’re finally ready to graduate from lessons you’ve had to learn and re-learn and re-re-learn. The coming months will bring you even more opportunities to finish up old business that has demanded too much of your time and energy.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
Now that we’re midway through 2010, it’s time to assess how well you’re taking advantage of this year’s good fortune. So let me ask you, Taurus: Have you been expanding your web of connections? Have you honed and deepened your networking skills? Have you taken bold steps to refine your influence over the way your team or crew or gang is evolving? The first half of the year has been full of encouragement in these areas, and the coming months will be even more so.

Homework: We’re halfway through 2010. Write a report about how your big projects for the year are progressing. Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

Free Will Astrology

Jacob Rolfe • www.thefloatingworld.net

Birthdays this month: Happy birthday to Mr. Cat, Diane Weston, Duncan Major, Michael Connors, Trevor Bennett, Jim Fidler, Nadya Bell, Dave Hopley, Graham Wells, Mike Heffernan, Théa Morash, and Pat Fifield! Send your birthdays to birthday@thescope.ca

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): As they orbit the planet, astronauts witness as many as 15 sunrises and sunsets each day. Time isn’t really sped up for them, but it seems like it. I expect you to experience a similar feeling in the coming weeks, Gemini. You may have the fantasy that you’re living the equivalent of four days every 24 hours. The light will be brighter, the emotions richer, and the teachings more highly concentrated. If you give yourself to the surge with relaxed enthusiasm and focused receptivity, your evolution will be expedited.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I think you’re ready to stand up and reclaim your power from the soul-sucking influences that have been swindling you. But you don’t have to turn this showdown into a melodramatic epic that brings down the house or blows up the world. In fact, I think it’s better if you stay low-key as you transform the dynamics that have been grinding you down. The adjustments may be nowhere near as major as you imagine. Why? Because most of what you need to do is make shifts in your own attitude. The necessary changes in outer circumstances will arise naturally once you’ve done that.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If I were writing the story of your life as a fairy tale, the current chapter would be filled with enchanted events. You’d hear animals’ thoughts in your head and you’d remember your past lives. You’d be able to find accurate oracles in the shapes of clouds, the ringing of distant bells, and the patterns of shadows on the sidewalk. You would see the help that’s invisible to everyone else and know what to do in order to get the love you want. Take advantage of the available mojo, Leo. Use it to set people free, including yourself.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): How skilled are you at getting things done and making things happen? This is different from just being busy; it’s not the same as scrambling around attending to whatever tasks are at the forefront of your attention. I’m talking about actually cranking out excellent results that manifest a comprehensive vision of your intentions. I’m talking about working hard and smart to serve the big picture, not working frenetically and mechanically to rid yourself of nervous mental energy. You’re in a phase when these themes are especially important, Virgo. Be a master of the details; don’t let the details master you.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In her essay “Write Till You Drop,” author Annie Dillard offers advice to aspiring writers. I’m going to quote a certain passage that happens to be apropos for you Libras right now. “Spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for later . . . give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a Rolling Stone interview, musician John Mayer suggested that Tiger Woods could have avoided his terrible troubles if he had just chosen to masturbate more. Rather than literally acting out his obsessive sexual urges with a jillion women who weren’t his wife, why not contain them in the fantasy realm? I suggest you consider applying this principle as you make your decisions in the coming weeks, Scorpio — not just in regards to your sexual life, but in other areas as well. There may be times when you could prevent an influx of unnecessary chaos simply by conducting a conversation in your imagination rather than by having it with the actual person who seems to be agitating or enthralling you.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): There are very few people who can lick their own elbows, and up until now you have probably not been one of them. Judging from the current astrological configurations, however, I’m guessing that a lot of you Sagittarians are about to be more flexible, limber, and acrobatic than usual — not just in your mental attitudes but possibly even in your physical abilities. At least metaphorically speaking, you’ll be able to bend over backwards without damaging your dignity. You could also stretch and twist yourself into poses that have previously been impossible. So who knows? Maybe you’ll find a way to plant a kiss on your own elbow.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The TV comedy series “Community” takes place on the sleepy campus of a community college. It features the hijinks of seven misfits who are older and weirder than their fellow students. In one episode, an inept female security guard chases the lead character, Jeff, hoping to catch and cite him for a farcical misdemeanor. As she races along, shouting for him to stop, she takes out her can of pepper spray and shoots several streams in his direction. The cloud of noxious stuff doesn’t reach him, but she runs face-first into it as she continues her pursuit. It irritates her eyes and forces her to halt. Later, in telling her associate what happened, she says she was the victim of “self-inflicted friendly fire.” I worry that you’ll soon be tempted to carry out a metaphorical version of that, Capricorn. Please don’t.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s how author Leo Buscaglia described the rigorous requirements for being a great lover. You must “continually have the subtlety of the very wise, the flexibility of the child, the sensitivity of the artist, the understanding of the philosopher, the acceptance of the saint, the tolerance of the scholar, and the fortitude of the certain.” I’m sorry to report that no one I’ve ever known has met those high standards! In the coming weeks, however, you Aquarians will have the potential to get halfway there. Life will conspire to boost every effort you make to be a great lover.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Recently I was remembering the names of streets near the house where I grew up in Allen Park, Michigan. Although I didn’t register it at the time, they were lyrical, euphonious, and evocative: Philomene, Shenandoah, Osage, Luana, Cleophus, Gahona. As I walked and played on them day after day for years, my imagination breathed in the magic of their exotic sounds, unobtrusively nurturing my poetic sensibilities. I bring this up, Pisces, in the hope of inspiring a comparable rumination in you. Think back on the riches of the past whose importance to your development you may have underestimated. It’s a good time to re-connect with the power and glory of influences that brought out the best in you almost without your knowledge.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you’d like to be in supreme alignment with cosmic rhythms this week, I suggest that you completely avoid using the f-word. Likewise, you’ll maximize your chances for taking advantage of fate’s currents if you refrain from ever using the s-word, the c-word, the m-word, and the b-word. As a general rule, the more precise and the less lazy you are in using language, the more willpower you’ll have and the better able you’ll be to attract the experiences you want. It’s always invigorating to choose your words creatively and kindly, of course, but especially now.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you grow a mere acre of peanuts, in a good year you’ll harvest a big enough crop to make 30,000 peanut butter sandwiches. That might be more than you need. If you just plant enough peanuts to fill a basketball court, you’ll still have enough to make over 3,200 sandwiches, which would provide you with more than eight every day for a year. This is a good phase of your astrological cycle to be thinking thoughts like these, Taurus. You will have more insight and motivation than usual if you formulate long-term plans to create abundance for yourself.

Homework: Psychologists hypothesize that the best way to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. Tell how you’ll do that. Go to Freewillastrology.com and click “Email Rob.”

Free Will Astrology

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You don’t have to answer to anybody this week, Taurus. You don’t have to defend yourself, explain yourself, or compromise yourself. I mean, you can do those things if you want to be super extra nice, but there won’t be any hell to pay if you don’t. It’s one of those rare times when you have more power than usual to shape the world in accordance with your vision of what the world should be. I’ll go so far as to say that the world needs you to be very assertive in imposing your will on the flow of events. Just one caveat: Mix a generous dose of compassion in with your authoritative actions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): When Paul McCartney first got the inspiration to write the song “Yesterday,” he had the melody and rhythm but couldn’t get a feel for what the lyrics should be. For a while, as he was waiting for the missing words to pop into his brain, he used nonsense stand-in phrases. The dummy version of the first line was “Scrambled eggs, oh my dear, you have such lovely legs.” This approach could be useful for you in the coming weeks, Gemini. As you create a fresh approach or novel departure in your own life, you might want to show the patience McCartney did. Be willing to keep moving ahead even though you don’t have the full revelation quite yet.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I suspect you’re going to feel a bit constrained in the coming weeks, Cancerian — maybe even imprisoned. I suggest you make the best of it. Rather than feeling sorry for yourself and spiraling down into a dark night of the soul, try this: Imagine that you’re a resourceful hermit who’s temporarily under house arrest in an elegant chalet with all the amenities. Regard this “incarceration” as a chance to start work on a masterpiece, or upgrade your meditation practice, or read a book you’ve needed an excuse to lose yourself in. Believe it or not, your “deprivation” could be one of the best things that has happened to you in a while.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I won’t be surprised if people begin to compete for your attention. There may even be some pushing and shoving as they jostle to get closer to you. At the very least, you can expect a flurry of requests for your time and energy. What’s this all about? Well, your worth seems to be rising. Either your usefulness is flat-out increasing or else those who’ve underestimated you in the past are finally tuning in to what they’ve been missing. So here’s my question and concern: Will you get so seduced by what everyone asks you to give them that you lose sight of what you really want to give them? I suspect there will be a difference.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I’m not saying that you should create a superhero identity for yourself and embark on a campaign to combat injustice. But if you’ve ever wondered whether the life of a costumed crusader is right for you, it’s an excellent time to experiment. Your courage will be expanding in the coming weeks. Your craving for adventure will be strong, too. Even more importantly, your hunger to do good deeds that reach beyond your own self-interest will be growing. Interested? Check out the Superhero Supply website to get yourself operational. It’s at www.superherosupplies.com.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): All 26 of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ stories about Tarzan are set in Africa, but he never once visited that continent. And Bram Stoker didn’t feel the need to travel to the Transylvanian region of Romania in order to write about it in his novel Dracula. But I don’t recommend this approach to you in the coming weeks, Libra. If you want to cultivate something new in your life by drawing on an exotic influence, I think you should immerse yourself in that exotic influence, at least for a while. If you want to tap into the inspiration available through an unfamiliar source, you need to actually be in the presence of that unfamiliar source.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Why would you choose this bright, sunny moment to descend into the dark places and explore the fermenting mysteries? What renegade impulse would move you to turn away from the predictable pleasures and easy solutions, and instead go off in quest of more complex joys and wilder answers? Here’s what I have to say about that: I think you long to be free of transitory wishes and fleeting dreams for a while so that you can get back into alignment with your deeper purposes. You need to take a break from the simple obsessions of your grayish, poker-faced ego, and re-attune yourself to the call of your freaky, evergreen soul.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sufi holy man Ibn ‘Ata Allah was speaking about prayer when he said the following: “If you make intense supplication and the timing of the answer is delayed, do not despair of it. His reply to you is guaranteed; but in the way He chooses, not the way you choose, and at the moment He desires, not the moment you desire.” While I don’t claim to be able to perfectly decipher the will of the divine, my astrological research suggests that you will soon get a definitive answer to a question you’ve been asking for a long time. It may come softly and quietly, though, and from a direction you don’t expect, and with a nuance or two that’ll test your reflexes.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Is Fast Food Too Tempting?” read a headline in The Week magazine. The accompanying article discussed whether people have the right to blame and even sue McDonald’s and Burger King for their health problems. In my opinion, we might as well add other allegedly appealing poisons to the discussion. “Is heroin too tempting?” “Is cheating on your lover or spouse too tempting?” “Is watching TV five hours a day too tempting?” I hope you’re seeing where I’m going with this, Capricorn. The coming weeks will be a good time to take personal responsibility for any supposedly fun activity you’re doing that warps your character or saps your energy. It’s prime time to end your relationship with stuff that’s bad for you.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “The mind loves order, the heart loves chaos, and the gut loves action,” says my astrological colleague Antero Alli. The ideal situation is to honor each of these needs, keeping them in a dynamic balance. But now and then, it’s healthy to emphasize one over the other two. According to my astrological analysis, you’re entering one of those times when the heart’s longing for chaos should get top priority. But if you do choose to go this way, please promise me one thing: Do your best to tilt toward the fascinating, rejuvenating kind of chaos and tilt away from the disorienting, demoralizing kind.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): When people are truly dehydrated, the impulse that tells them they’re thirsty shuts down. That’s why they may not know they’re suffering from a lack of water. In a metaphorically similar way, Pisces, you have been deprived so long of a certain kind of emotional sustenance that you don’t realize what you’re missing. See if you can find out what it is, and then make measured (non-desperate!) plans to get a big, strong influx of it. The cosmic rhythms will be on your side in this effort!

ARIES (March 21-April 19): All of us have gaps in our education. You and I and everyone else alive have dank pockets of ignorance that diminish our humanity and musty pits of naivete that prevent us from seeing truths that are obvious to others. We all lack certain skills that hold us back from being more fulfilled in our chosen fields. That’s the bad news, Aries. The good news is that the gaps in your education will be up for review in the coming weeks — which means that it’ll be an excellent time to make plans to fill them. Here’s a good way to get started: Be aggressive in identifying the things that you don’t even know you don’t know.

Homework: Brag about your flaws and weaknesses and mistakes, preferably with a grandiose lack of inhibition. Send your boast to Truthrooster@gmail.com.

Free Will Astrology

For the week of May 6

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Among the ancient Anglo-Saxons, the month of May was called “Thrimilce.” The word referred to the fact that cows were so productive at this time of year that they could be milked three times a day. I thought of that as I studied your current astrological data, Taurus. During this year’s Thrimilce, you are almost impossibly fertile and abundant and creative. My advice is to give generously, but not to the point of exhaustion: the equivalent of three times a day, but not four. Happy birthday to Mark Neary and Kevin Roddy.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In accordance with the astrological omens, I encourage you to seek out a concentrated period of sweet oblivion. Not a numb, narcotized limbo. Not a mournful unconsciousness that’s motivated by a depressive urge to give up. No, Gemini: The mental blankness that you cultivate should be generated by a quest to rejuvenate yourself, and it must have qualities of deliciousness and delight. You not only have a need to rest and recharge in a lush nowhere — you also have the right to do so. Happy birthday to Rodney Wall, “my monkey Maren” and to “Mr. Wright (Dave)”.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): A while back, I gave my readers this homework: “Tell a story about the time a divine intervention reached down and altered your course in one tricky, manic swoop.” A woman named Kelly testified as follows: “At first I was disturbed to find I couldn’t identify the last time Spirit descended into my midst with a forceful intervention. But finally I realized why: I have been working to make my whole life be guided by the Spirit of my Higher Power, as a deep undercurrent. That way I don’t need bolts of lightening to fix my course.” This is a useful lesson, Cancerian. It’s an excellent time for you to follow Kelly’s lead. Ask yourself how you could cultivate a deep, abiding undercurrent of the good influence you want to have guide you, thereby making lightning bolts of divine intervention unnecessary.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The exact height of Mt. Everest has proved challenging to determine. Even using modern scientific methods, different teams of surveyors have come up with varying measurements. The problem is not simply with the calculations themselves. The world’s tallest peak is definitely evolving. Shifts in the earth’s tectonic plates work to raise it up and move it northeastward. But there’s also evidence that the melting of its glaciers due to climate change is causing it to shrink. A member of one mountain climbing expedition said, “If Everest is bobbing up and down, we must hope to catch it on a low day.” I bring this to your attention, Leo, in order to offer you a metaphor for the coming weeks. Your version of Mt. Everest is shriveling. Get ready to ascend.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Have you been lusting after spiritual traditions other than your own? Have you been fantasizing about cheating on the deity you’ve always been faithful to, and seeking a taboo liaison with a strange and exciting god from another part of reality? If so, Virgo, that’s a good sign. I suspect you could use a few adjustments to your familiar relationship with the Divine Wow. After all, you have gone through a lot of changes since the last time you hammered out your definitive theories about the meaning of life. What made good sense for you back then can’t be completely true for you any more. So feel free to let your mind wander in the direction of holy experiments.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When a girl is born, her ovaries already contain all the eggs she will ever have. What this means, of course, is that a part of you was in your grandmother’s womb as well as in your mother’s. Now would be an excellent time to celebrate that primal fact. Your connection with your mother’s mother is especially important these days. I suggest you meditate on what gifts and liabilities you received from her (genetic and otherwise), and how you might be able to make better use of the gifts even as you take steps to outwit the liabilities.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Who is the person most unlike you in the world? I suggest you study that person for tips on how to improve your life. What are the healthy experiences you are least attracted to? You might want to meditate on exactly why they’re so unappealing, and use that information to update your ideas about yourself. What are the places on the earth that you long ago decided you would never visit? I invite you to fantasize being in those places and enjoying yourself. Can you guess why I’m calling this Opposite Week, Scorpio?

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Are you in a trance or a rut or a jam? If so, excuse yourself. It’s break time! You need spaciousness. You need slack. You need to wander off and do something different from what you have been doing. If there’s any behavior you indulge in with manic intensity, drop it for a while. If you’ve been caught up in a vortex of excruciating sincerity or torturous politeness, shake it off and be more authentic. Of all the good reasons you have for relaxing your death-grip, here’s one of the best: Life can’t bring you the sublime gift it has for you until you interrupt your pursuit of a mediocre gift.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The state of Texas is a Capricorn, having become part of the United States on December 29, 1845. At that time, it was granted the right to divide itself into five separate states at some future date. So far it hasn’t chosen to do so, and I would advise it to continue that policy. I extend the same counsel to all of my Capricorn readers. From an astrological perspective, this is not a favorable time for you to break yourself up into sub-sections. On the contrary: I suggest you sow unity and solidarity among your various parts.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’m all for recycling, composting, and carpooling. Anything you and I can do to reduce our carbon footprint is brilliant. But I also agree with author Chris Hedges, who says, “The reason the ecosystem is dying is not because we still have a dryer in our basement. It is because corporations look at everything, from human beings to the natural environment, as exploitable commodities. It is because consumption is the engine of corporate profits.” So beyond our efforts to save the earth by adjusting our own individual habits, we’ve got to revise the way corporations work. Now let’s apply this way of thinking to the specific personal dilemma you’re facing right now: It’s important for you to change yourself, yes — and I’m glad you’re taking responsibility for your role in the complications — but you will also have to transform the system you’re part of.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Every year Americans fork over six times as much money on buying lottery tickets as they do on going to the movies, according to the documentary film Lucky. Yet many people who actually buck the improbable odds regard their “luck” as a curse. “Winning the lottery is like throwing Miracle-Gro on all your character defects,” said one person. Let this serve as a cautionary tale for you in the coming months, Pisces. To get ready for the good things that are headed your way, you should work to purify any darkness that’s lurking in your unconscious.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Hip hop music definitely needs to include more tuba playing. I think that’s what’s missing from it. Likewise, the sport of skateboarding would benefit from having more dogs and monkeys that can master its complexities; the state of journalism could be improved by including more babies as reporters; and you Aries folks would significantly upgrade your life by learning how to play the game of cricket. (If you believe everything I just said, you’ll be equally gullible when a little voice in your head tries to convince you to seek out things you don’t really need or adopt behavior that doesn’t suit you.)

Homework: Why is this a perfect moment? Write to Truthrooster@gmail.com. Here’s my take on the question: http://bit.ly/ThisIsaPerfectMoment.

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Although obstacles and difficulties frighten ordinary people,” wrote French painter Théodore Géricault, “they are the necessary food of genius. They cause it to mature, and raise it up . . . All that obstructs the path of genius inspires a state of feverish agitation, upsetting and overturning those obstacles, and producing masterpieces.” I’d like to make this idea one of your guiding principles, Aries. In order for it to serve you well, however, you’ll have to believe that there is a sense in which you do have some genius within you. It’s not necessarily something that will make you rich, famous, popular, or powerful. For example, you may have a genius at washing dogs or giving thoughtful gifts or doing yoga when you’re sad. Whatever your unique brilliance consists of, the challenges just ahead will be highly useful in helping it grow.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Yes, I know that the bull is your totem animal. But I’m hoping you’re willing to expand your repertoire, because it’s a ripe time for you to take on some of the attitudes of the king of beasts. Consider this. The naturalist and shaman Virginia Carper notes that lions have strong personalities but cooperate well. They’re powerful as individuals but engage in constructive group dynamics. In many cultures, they have been symbols of nobility, dignity, and spiritual prowess. To adopt the lion as a protective guardian spirit builds one’s ability to know and hunt down exactly what one wants. Would you like more courage? Visualize your lion self.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 2011, I may do a tour of North America, performing my show “Sacred Uproar.” But for the foreseeable future I need to shut up and listen. I’ve got to make myself available to learn fresh truths I don’t even realize I need to know. So, yeah, next year I might be ready to express the extroverted side of my personality in a celebration of self-expression. But for now I have a sacred duty to forget everything I supposedly believe in and gratefully shuck my self-importance. By the way, Gemini, everything I just described would be a good approach for you to consider taking in the next three weeks.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Is it true what they say — that you can never have too many friends? If you don’t think so, it’s a good time to re-evaluate your position. And if you do agree, then you should go out and get busy. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re likely to be extra lucky in attracting new connections and deepening existing alliances in the coming weeks. The friendships you strike up are likely to be unusually stimulating and especially productive. To take maximum advantage of the favorable cosmic rhythms, do whatever you can to spruce up your inner beauty.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I have compiled a set of four affirmations that I think will keep you on the right track in the coming weeks. Try saying them at least twice a day. 1. “I am cultivating Relaxed Alertness, because that will make me receptive to high-quality clues about how to proceed.” 2. “I am expressing Casual Perfectionism, because that way I will thoroughly enjoy being excellent, and not stress about it.” 3. “I am full of Diligent Indifference, working hard out of love for the work and not being attached to the outcome.” 4. “I am practicing Serene Debauchery, because if I’m not manically obsessed with looking for opportunities to cut loose, those opportunities will present themselves to me with grace and frequency.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The Great Wall of China is the largest human construction in the world, stretching for almost 3,900 miles. But contrary to legend, it is not visible from the moon. According to most astronauts, the Wall isn’t even visible from low Earth orbit. Keep this in mind as you carry out your assignment in the coming week, Virgo. First, imagine that your biggest obstacle is the size of the Great Wall of China. Second, imagine yourself soaring so high above it, so thoroughly beyond it, that it disappears. If performed regularly, I think this exercise will give you a new power to deal with your own personal Great Wall of China.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the early 1990s, actors Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder were engaged to be married. In honor of their love, Depp got a tattoo that read “Winona Forever.” After the relationship fell apart, though, he had it altered to “Wino Forever.” If you’re faced with a comparable need to change a tattoo or shift your emphasis or transform a message anytime soon, Libra, I suggest putting a more positive and upbeat spin on it — something akin to “Winner Forever.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the Bering Strait, Russia and America are 2.5 miles apart. The International Date Line runs through the gap, meaning that it’s always a day later on the Russian side than it is on the American. I suggest you identify a metaphorically similar place in your own life, Scorpio: a zone where two wildly different influences almost touch. According to my reading of the omens, it’s an excellent time for you to foster more interaction and harmony between them.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I have a group of colleagues who half-jokingly, half-sincerely refer to themselves as the Shamanic Hackers of Karmic Justice. The joking part of it is that the title is so over-the-top ostentatious that it keeps them from taking themselves too seriously. The sincere part is that they really do engage in shamanic work designed to help free their clients from complications generated by old mistakes. Since you’re entering the season of adjustment and atonement, I asked them to do some corrective intervention in your behalf. They agreed, with one provision: that you aid and abet their work by doing what you can to liberate yourself from the consequences of wrong turns you made in the past.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Weekly World News reported that a blues singer sued his psychiatrist for turning him into a more cheerful person. Gloomy Gus Johnson claimed he was so thoroughly cured of his depression that he could no longer perform his dismal tales with mournful sincerity. His popularity declined as he lost fans who had become attached to his despondent persona. I suspect you may soon be arriving at a similar crossroads, Capricorn. Through the intervention of uplifting influences and outbreaks of benevolence, you will find it harder to cultivate a cynical attitude. Are you prepared to accept the consequences that may come from being deprived of some of your reasons to moan and groan?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Educational specialist Dr. Howard Gardner believes I.Q. tests evaluate only a fraction of human intelligence. He describes eight different kinds of astuteness. They include the traditional measures — being good at math and language — as well as six others: being smart about music, the body, other people, one’s own inner state, nature, and spatiality. (More here: bit.ly/Shrewd.) I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, because you’re entering a phase when you could dramatically enhance your intelligence about your own inner state. Take advantage of this fantastic opportunity to know yourself much, much better.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): South Carolina now requires subversive people to register with the state if they have the stated intention of overthrowing the government of the United States. I have no such goal, so I remain free to operate unlicensed in South Carolina. I am, however, participating in a movement to overthrow reality — or rather, the sour and crippled mass hallucination that is mistakenly called “reality.” This crusade requires no guns or political agitation, but is instead waged by the forces of the liberated imagination using words, music, and images to counteract those who paralyze and deaden the imagination. I invite you to join us. You’re entering a phase when you may feel an almost ecstatic longing to free yourself from the delusions that constitute the fake “reality.”

Homework: Listen to a welcoming message from the Beauty and Truth Lab: http://bit.ly/TruthLab. Then tell us what you want more than anything else: Truthrooster@gmail.com.

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): It would be a good week for you to perfect your ability to crow like a rooster, Aries. I also recommend that you practice your skill at leaping out of bed in the morning fully refreshed, with your imagination primed and ready to immediately begin making creative moves. Other suggested exercises: being on the alert for what’s being born; holding a vision of the dawn in your heart throughout the day; and humorously strutting around like you own whatever place you’re in. Happy birthday to Rob Sexton, Ruth Lawrence, Gene Browne, Ritche Perez, Lori Heath and Rick Kelly.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I got a spam email containing supposed words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama. “We spend more, but have less,” it said. “We have more conveniences, but less time; more experts, yet more problems.” It went on like this for a while. I was suspicious. It seemed to contain too many pop platitudes to have been uttered by the Dalai Lama. With Google’s help, I did some research and discovered that the passage was actually the handiwork of pastor Bob Moorehead, who resigned from his Seattle church under a cloud of allegations about misconduct. I urge you to make similar investigations of the ostensible truths you receive this week, Taurus. You may find discrepancies as major as the differences between the Dalai Lama and Bob Moorehead.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A life-long dream of mine came true recently, and I didn’t even know it was a life-long dream until it happened. It struck unexpectedly on a Tuesday afternoon. My daughter called on the phone from her college dorm room, wanting to discuss an essay she’d been assigned for her History of Modern Art class. She really liked it, but there were some points she wanted to understand better, and she thought my input might help. The essay? The “Surrealistic Manifesto,” formulated in 1924 by the writer André Breton. Years ago, it was a crucial document in my own development as a young poet. The opportunity to share its heady brew with the beloved child I used to push on a swing was startlingly blissful. I predict a similar event for you in the coming days, Gemini: the fruition of a life-long dream you didn’t even know you had.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): It’s probably true for a lot of celebrities that their public personas are not accurate reflections of their private lives. One striking example is actress Megan Fox, who’s famous for being a sex goddess. But the fact is, she told *Harper’s Bazaar* magazine, she has only slept with two men in her life, and it makes her ill to even contemplate having sex with someone she doesn’t love. While it may not bother her to have a reputation that’s so different from her inner world, I wouldn’t say the same about you — especially now. I urge you to do what you can to create more harmony between the version of yourself that you project outward and the version of yourself you actually live in.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In her poem “The Gift,” Chinese poet Shu Ting writes, “I dream the dream of a pond who lives not just to mirror the sky but to let willow trees on the bank drink me up.” This would be an excellent dream for you to dream in the coming week, Leo. It would also be empowering for you to render its themes in your waking life. I think you will derive great pleasure and sound teaching from mirroring a soaring archetype and feeding an intimate primal force. (Shu Ting’s poem was translated by Tony Barnstone and Newton Liu.)

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Are you an athlete? If so, I suspect that you will soon make an adjustment in your training or technique that will improve your game. Are you an artist, musician, writer, performer, or dancer? I bet you will get a sweet insight about the creative process that could revolutionize your work in the months to come. Are you a pilgrim on a meandering long-distance quest to a promised land whose location you’re not exactly sure of? Any minute now, you’ll uncover a clue that will dramatically narrow down the possibilities of where the promised land is.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): There may be times in the coming week when you will in a sense be dreaming while standing up. On other occasions, you may be hard at work while lying down. In fact, I suspect that the law of reversals will be in full bloom. Things that have been last will, at least temporarily, be first, and influences that have calmed you down will rile you up. What has been crazy may be quite sane, and what has been in the shadows will come into the light. Tight squeezes may turn into expansive releases and heavy-duty commitments will get a dose of slack — and vice versa. Always vice versa.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every one of us in engaged in some ongoing battle with ourselves. Maybe there’s a conflict between our heart and head. Maybe we’re trying to stop expressing some behavior that we know is self-destructive but seems all too natural and easy to do. Maybe we feel guilty about or resentful toward some event from the past, and are constantly fighting with its after-image. Whatever your version of the civil war might be, Scorpio, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to reduce the heat of the strife. But you’ll have to be ingenious as you reframe the way you think about the situation, and you’ll have to locate a reservoir of willpower that has been hidden in your depths.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This would be an excellent time for you to take inventory of what brings you pleasure. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you’re due for an update and upgrade. Some of your tried-and-true strategies for generating joys and thrills are fraying at the edges. You should consider refurbishing them, even as you also think about going in quest of fresh sources of delight. For extra credit, see if you can gain access to an experience that could accurately be described as “a blessed state of bliss.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It would be smart for you to whet your appetite, but please don’t go too far and spoil your appetite. Imagine and plan for the feast to come; make sure the evolution of the feast is on track; but don’t try to actually enjoy the entire feast yet. It’s not ready, you see. The “cooking” isn’t complete. To dive in now would be like eating a chocolate cake that has only been baking in the oven for ten minutes. In conclusion, Capricorn, strike a balance between practicing watchful patience and cultivating protective excitement.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Your key word for the week is “fulcrum.” It’s derived from a Latin verb meaning “to prop up, support,” and its definitions include the following: 1. the stable point on which a lever pivots; 2. the crux of a percussionist’s grip as he or she holds a drumstick; 3. an agent through which vital powers are exercised. I suggest you meditate on where the metaphorical fulcrums are in your life, and then take creative measures to give them extra care and enhance their strength.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m wearing a replica of an ancient Egyptian *atef,* a white crown surmounted by two ostrich feathers. My white cashmere robe, decorated with Qabalistic sigils, was sewn for me by a Wiccan priestess. My wand is shaped like the head of a Kalao bird and once belonged to a shaman from Burkina Faso. Aided by these accessories, I gaze into my magic mirror and conjure the spirit of my deceased great-uncle Felix, a successful businessman born under the sign of Pisces. He has always been a reliable source of inside info for me in the past. “Dear ancestor,” I murmur, “do you have an oracular revelation for my Piscean readers?” And he replies: “Tell them their money mojo is stronger than usual. Urge them to bargain aggressively and make sure they get a percentage of the gross, not just of the net profits.”

Homework: Listen to two versions of the song “You Taste Delicious” at http://bit.ly/YouTasteDelicious. Tell me your favorite at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

Free Will Astrology

ARIES (March 21-April 19): All but one of our planet’s mountain ranges have been mapped: the Gamburtsev Mountains, which are buried under 2.5 miles of ice in Antarctica. Recent efforts to get a read on this craggy landscape, aided by a network of seismic instruments, have revealed some initial details about it, including its role in forming the East Antarctic Ice Sheet. I recommend that you regard the Gamburtsevs as an iconic metaphor in the coming months, Aries. They’ll be an apt symbol for one of your life’s featured themes: the discovery and exploration of a massive unknown territory that has been hidden from view. Happy birthday to Jonathan Kennedy, Meghan O’Dea, Geoff Younghusband, Danielle Devereaux, Mark Bennett and John Gushue.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s my opinion that everyone has a duty to periodically check in with themselves to make sure they still are who they say they are. Over time, there’s a tendency for all of us to fall into the habit of believing our own hype. We get entranced by the persona we project. We’re tempted to keep capitalizing on our past accomplishments in ways that lull us into complacency and give us unconscious permission to stop growing. You, Taurus, are in no worse danger of doing this than any of the rest of us. But the coming weeks will be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for you to do an intensive check-in.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The odds are higher than usual that you’ll encounter a future soul brother or soul sister in the coming weeks. Potential allies are gravitating toward you, even if neither they nor you are aware of it yet. You’re also likely to brush up against a tribe or team you could benefit from knowing more about. That’s why I’m counseling you to be extra open to meeting people you don’t know. Talk to strangers. Ask your friends to introduce you to their friends. And consider the possibility of skipping over the customary social formalities so you can reveal some of the core truths about who you are right from the start.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Sci-fi author Neil Gaiman sometimes invites his readers to get involved in his creative process. While working on the story “Metamorpho,” for example, he Twittered, “Trying to decide if broccoli is funnier than kohlrabi in a list of vegetables.” When a number of fans suggested “rutabaga” instead, he took their suggestion. (Thanks to The New Yorker for that report.) I’d like to borrow Gaiman’s approach, as you’re entering a phase of your astrological cycle when you’ll have maximum power to shape your own destiny. So here’s my question: What accomplishment would you like your horoscope to say you will complete by May 15? Email me at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): From the 9th to the 15th century, the Khmer empire thrived in what is now Cambodia. Its rulers were regarded as deities who had privileges that common folk didn’t have — as well as special responsibilities. For example, each god-king was expected, according to custom, to engage in sexual relations with a sacred nine-headed serpent every single night, whether he was in the mood or not. (An actual human being usually served as a proxy for the magic snake.) I suspect you may get an inkling of the god-king’s double-edged situation in the coming week, Leo. On the one hand, you’re likely to be presented with the possibility of experiencing uncommonly interesting pleasure. On the other hand, there may be an obligatory quality to it — a slightly oppressive pressure that is fully blended with the bliss.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): According to the oracular priestess at the ancient Greek shrine of Delphi, whom I consulted in my dream last night, your code phrases for the week are “luminous shadow” and “hidden light.” That was the gist of her entire message; she didn’t provide any more practical clues. But here are some ways I might interpret her prophecy if I were you: What dark place in your life might soon shine forth with a new radiance? Or: What secret beauty is aching to be found? Or: What odd asset have you been concealing for no good reason?

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In my role as moral sentinel, I strongly urge you not to watch “Telephone,” the music video by Lady Gaga and Beyoncé. It epitomizes everything that’s crazy-making about our culture: brilliantly executed, gorgeous to behold, and perversely seductive, even though its subject matter is degrading, demoralizing, and devoid of meaning. In my role as a kick-ass educator, however, I encourage you to watch the video at least once. I think you’d benefit from seeing such an explicit embodiment of the crazy-making pressures you’ll be wise to avoid exposing yourself to in the coming weeks. You can find it at tinyurl.com/ycx6p34 or tinyurl.com/ycvkkdz.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Most of the time, life does not talk to you,” writes Robert T. Kiyosaki in his book Rich Dad, Poor Dad. “It just sort of pushes you around. Each push is life saying, ‘Wake up. There’s something I want you to learn.’” Different people respond in different ways, Kiyosaki says. “Some just let life push them around. Others get angry and push back. But they push back against their boss, or their job, or their husband or wife. They do not know it’s life that’s pushing.” I’m here to tell you, Scorpio, that what he says is particularly apropos for you right now. And I hope that you will neither allow yourself to get pushed around nor blame the wrong source for the push. Instead, make yourself available to learn the lesson that life’s nudging you to pay attention to.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): NASA scientist Richard Gross believes that the recent 8.8 earthquake in Chile was so strong that it shifted the planet’s axis and shortened the length of the day. The amounts were relatively small — three inches and 1.26 microseconds — but it was enough to make “the Earth ring like a bell.” I predict a somewhat comparable seismic shift for you in the coming weeks. The main difference is that yours will not be generated by a painful jolt but rather by a breakthrough that’s half smart and half lucky.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In a library in Warsaw, there is a 1,000+-page memoir written by my great-great-great-great grandfather, Leon Dembowski, a close advisor to the last king of Poland. Someday I’ll make a pilgrimage over there, photocopy that family heirloom, bring it back to America, and have it translated into English. The task I envision for you in the coming weeks, Capricorn, has a certain resemblance to mine. I think you will have the chance to uncover a wealth of material about where you came from, but it’ll take a lot of footwork and reinterpretation.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There’s no need for you to get a t-shirt that says, “Oh no, not another learning experience.” According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are not about to have an embarrassing stumble that could in retrospect be euphemistically referred to as a “learning experience.” On the contrary, the educational events you’ll be communing with will be pretty pleasurable, and will more closely resemble a hop, skip, and a jump than a stumble.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I’m inclined to prophesy that in the days to come, you may be able to read the minds of people whose actions are critical to your success. I also suspect that you will know exactly what to do in order to banish a minor health problem. I’m even tempted to believe that when you gaze into the mirror you will be more intrigued than you’ve been in a while. Have you ever heard a bird sing a song just for you? Did you ever find a small treasure you assumed was lost forever? Developments like those are in the works. There’s only one catch: To get the most out of this grace period, you will have to summon more faith in yourself than you usually do.

Homework: Listen to my blasphemously reverent “Prayer for Us.” It’s here: bit.ly/PrayerforUs. Then read the lyrics at bit.ly/OurPrayer.

Free Will Astrology

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I used to have an acupuncturist who, as she poked me with needles, liked to talk about her understanding of Chinese medicine. Once she told me that every human being needs a “heart protector,” which is a body function that’s “like a holy warrior who serves as the queen’s devoted ally.” But the heart protector is not something you’re born with. You’ve got to grow it by building your fortitude and taking care of your body. I think the heart protector will be an apt metaphor for you to play with in the coming weeks, Pisces. It’s going to be an excellent time for you to cultivate any part of your life that gives your heart joy, strength, peace, and integrity. Happy birthday to Liz Solo, Kevin Coffey, Lesley Marie Reade, Curtis Kilfoy, and Erin McKee.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Sarah Bernhardt (1844-1923) was called “the most famous actress the world has ever known.” She did a few films in the early days of the cinema, but most of her work was in the theater. At age 70, she played the role of the 13-year-old Juliet in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I commend her on her refusal to act her age, and recommend that you make a comparable effort in the coming weeks. For example, if you’re in your twenties, try something you thought you wouldn’t do until you were at a very ripe age. If you’re over 50, be 25 for a while. It’s an excellent time to do this kind of time-traveling.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You might have to use primitive means to accomplish modern wonders. It may be necessary to hearken back to what worked in the past in order to serve the brightest vision of the future. Take your cue from Luis Soriano, a saintly teacher who carries a library of 120 books on the back of a donkey as he meanders around the back country of Columbia, helping poor kids learn how to read.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Humans have been baking and eating bread for at least 5,000 years. But it wasn’t until the 20th century that anyone figured out a fast and easy way to cut it into thin, precise pieces. Then Otto Rohwedder, who had been working on the project for 16 years, produced a machine that cut a loaf into individual slices. I bring him to your attention, Gemini, because I think you are in a phase of your life when you could very possibly create an innovation that would be as intimately revolutionary as Rohwedder’s was for the masses. In fact, why aren’t you working on it right now?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In order to heal deep-seated problems, people may need to engage in long-term psychotherapy, patiently chipping away at their mental blocks for many years. But some lucky sufferers get their neuroses zapped virtually overnight, either with the help of a monumental event that shocks them out of their malaise or through the work of a brilliant healer who uses a few strokes of kamikaze compassion to creatively destroy their deluded fixations. I think you’re now a candidate for this type of correction, Cancerian.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): To discover the most useful truths, you will have to peek behind the curtains and root around to see what’s cloaked in the dark and maybe even explore messes you’d rather not touch. What complicates your task is that the fake truths may be extra loud and shiny, distracting you from the down and dirty stuff with their relentless come-ons. But I have confidence in your ability to outmaneuver the propaganda, Leo. You shall know the hype, and knowing the hype will set you free.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The evil geniuses of the advertising industry are hard at work in their labs dreaming up seductive new mojo to artificially stimulate your consumer lusts. Meanwhile, the media’s relentless campaign to get you to believe in debilitating fantasies and divert you from doing what’s really good for you has reached a fever pitch. And here’s the triple whammy: Even more than usual, some of your relatives and cohorts are angling to convince you that what pleases them is what pleases you. So is there any hope that you will be able to hone in on what truly excites you? (It’s especially important that you do so right now.) The answer, in my opinion, is a qualified yes — IF you’re willing to conduct intensive research into the idiosyncratic secrets of what makes you happy; and IF you’re not scared to discover who you are when you’re turned on all the way.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If you were living in Greece in the fifth century B.C., I’d urge you to bathe in the healing spring at the shrine of Asklepios in Athens. If you were in 19th-century France, I’d recommend that you trek to the sacred shrine at Lourdes — being sure to crawl the last half-mile on your hands and knees — and sip from the curative waters there. But since you’re a busy 21st-century sophisticate and may have a limited belief in miracles, I’ll simply suggest that you visit the most interesting tree you know and spill a bottle of pristine water over your head as you confess your sins and ask the sky for forgiveness and sing songs that purify you to the bone.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): It’s quite possible that the nature of consciousness is in the midst of a fundamental transformation. The human race seems to be getting more empathetic, more compassionate, and even more psychic. Many of us are having experiences that were previously thought to be the province of mystics, such as epiphanies that give us visceral perceptions of the interconnectedness of all life. Even as some traditional religions lose members and devolve into cartoony fundamentalism, there are ever-increasing numbers of intelligent seekers who cultivate a more discerning spiritual awareness outside the decrepit frameworks. If you haven’t been on this bandwagon, Scorpio, now’s a good time to jump on. If you’re already on board, get ready for an accelerated ride.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This week you’ll be working overtime while you sleep. Your dreaming mind will be playing around with solutions to your waking mind’s dilemmas. Your ally, the wild conjurer in the ramshackle diamond-encrusted sanctuary at the edge of the deep dark forest, will be spinning out medicine stories and rounding up help for you. So of course you should keep a pen and notebook by your bed to record the dreams that come. I suggest that you also try to keep the first part of your mornings free of busy work so you can integrate the full impact of the nights’ gifts. And don’t despair if you can’t actually remember any of your nocturnal adventures. Their tasty after-images will remain with you subliminally, giving your logical mind an intuitive edge.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): There’ll be an abundance of unambiguous choices for you to make in the coming days. I’m not implying they’ll be easy, just that the different alternatives will be clearly delineated. To get you warmed up for your hopefully crisp decisions, I’ve compiled a a few exercises. Pick one of each of these pairs: 1. exacting homework or free-form research; 2. pitiless logic or generous fantasies; 3. precise and disciplined communication or heedless self-expression; 4. grazing like a contented sheep or rambling like a restless mountain goat.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Among Eastern religions, some traditions preach the value of getting rid of your desires. To be righteously attuned to current cosmic rhythms, however, I think you should rebel against that ideal, and instead cultivate a whole host of excellent desires. Use your imagination, please! Here are a few I highly recommend: a desire for a revelation or experience that will steer you away from becoming more like a machine; a desire for a fresh blast of purity from a primal source; a desire for an imaginary pet snake that teaches you how to be more playful with your libidinous energy; and a desire for a jolt of unexpected beauty that reminds you how important it is to always keep a part of your mind untamed.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I used to have an acupuncturist who, as she poked me with needles, liked to talk about her understanding of Chinese medicine. Once she told me that every human being needs a “heart protector,” which is a body function that’s “like a holy warrior who serves as the queen’s devoted ally.” But the heart protector is not something you’re born with. You’ve got to grow it by building your fortitude and taking care of your body. I think the heart protector will be an apt metaphor for you to play with in the coming weeks, Pisces. It’s going to be an excellent time for you to cultivate any part of your life that gives your heart joy, strength, peace, and integrity. Happy birthday to Liz Solo, Kevin Coffey, Lesley Marie Reade, Curtis Kilfoy, and Erin McKee.

Homework: Starved for good news? Weary of the nonstop barrage of misery foisted on you by the media? Check this out: http://bit.ly/PronoiaNetwork

Free Will Astrology

Photo by uberculture

For the week of February 25

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
If you were going to launch a career as a rap artist any time soon, I’d suggest that maybe you use the alias “Big Try” as your stage name. If you were planning to convert to an exotic religious path and get a new spiritual name, I’d recommend something like “Bringit Harder” or “Pushit Stronger.” If you were about to join an activist group that fights for a righteous cause, and you wanted a new nickname to mark your transformation, I’d urge you to consider a tag like “Radical” or “Prime” or “Ultra.” And even if you’re not doing any of the above, I hope you’ll carry out some ritual of transition to intensify your commitment to your life’s vital dreams. Happy birthday to Lynn Panting, Jillian Butler, Mary-Lynn Bernard, Angus Woodman, and Justin Guzzwell.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
“Everything is complicated,” wrote poet Wallace Stevens. “If that were not so, life and poetry and everything else would be a bore.” I hope you will choose his wisdom to serve as your guiding light in the coming weeks. It is high time, in my astrological opinion, for you to shed any resentment you might feel for the fact that life is a crazy tangle of mystifying and interesting stories. Celebrate it, Aries! Revel in it. Fall down on your knees and give holy thanks for it. And by the way, here’s a big secret: To the extent that you do glory in the complications, the complications will enlighten you, amuse you, and enrich you.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
This is one time when you can be both the river and the bridge. In fact, I strongly suggest that you make every effort to be both the river and the bridge. I’ll leave it up to you to interpret how this metaphor applies to your life, but here’s a clue to get you started. Be a force of nature that flows vigorously along even as you also provide a refuge for those who want to be close to your energy but are not yet ready to be inside it and flow along with it.

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
Almost exactly ten years from now, you will be blessed with an eruption of personal power that’s so crafty and so practical that you will be able to visualize a solution to a problem that has stumped you for a long time. It may take you months to actually carry out that solution in its entirety, but all the while you will have the luxury of feeling perfect certainty about what must be done. And you know what the weird thing is, Gemini? Something very similar is in the works for the next few weeks: an eruption of crafty, practical power that will help you materialize the key to solving an old dilemma, hopefully followed by months of carrying out your lucid plan.

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Last night I had a dream in which I was addressing a crowd of thousands of Cancerians in a large stadium. I was referring to them as dolphins rather than as crabs. “I say unto you, my fellow dolphins,” I proclaimed (I myself was born June 23), “that you have been given a sacred assignment by the great gods of time themselves. And that assignment is to master the art of Timeology.” When I awoke from the dream, I was awash with feelings of deep relaxation and ease, although I wasn’t sure why. I had never before heard that word “timeology,” so I googled it. Here’s how the Urban Dictionary defined it: “spending time doing what you want to do, not accomplishing anything major but also not wasting time.” It so happens that this prescription is well-suited to our current astrological omens. I suggest that you and I be as playful as dolphins.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
In an episode of the animated TV sci-fi series Futurama, we get to see inside the headquarters of Romanticorp, where “love research” is being done. One of the experiments involves robots delivering various pick-up lines to actual women. The line that works best is “My two favorite things are commitment and changing myself.” I recommend that you make that your own catchphrase, Leo — not just this week but for the foreseeable future. The entire year of 2010 will be an excellent time to deepen your commitments and transform yourself, and the weeks ahead will bring unprecedented opportunities to intensify those efforts.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
“Be not forgetful to entertain strangers,” advises a passage in the Bible, “for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” While that’s always good counsel, it’s especially apt for you in the coming days. I believe you will come into contact with people who can provide you with valuable teaching and healing, even if they’re disguised as baristas or pet shampooers or TV repairmen — and even if this will be the one and only time they will provide you with teaching and healing.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
Metaphorically speaking, you have recently begun crossing the water in a dream boat that has a small leak. If you keep going, it’s possible you will reach the far side before sinking. But that’s uncertain. And even if you were able to remain afloat the entire way, the shakiness of the situation would probably fill you with anxiety. My suggestion, then, is to head back to where you started and fix the leak.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Some Scorpios bring out the worst in people. Other Scorpios draw out the best. Then there are those members of your tribe who sometimes bring out the worst in their fellow humans and other times bring out the best. Where do you fit in this spectrum? Regardless of your position up until now, I’m betting that in the coming months you’ll be moving in the direction of bringing out more of the best. And it all begins now. To get the process underway, think of five people you care about, and visualize the wonderful futures that it might be possible for them to create for themselves.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
More than a few fairy tales feature the theme of characters who accidentally find a treasure. They’re not searching for treasure, don’t feel worthy of it, and aren’t fully prepared for it. They may initially not even know what they’re looking at, and see it as preposterous or abnormal or disquieting. Who could blame them if they ran away from the treasure? In order to recognize and claim it, they might have to shed a number of their assumptions about the way the world works. And they might have to clear up a discrepancy between their unconscious longings and their conscious intentions.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
Everyone alive has some kind of learning disability. I know brilliant physicists who are dumb about poetry. There are fact-loving journalists whose brains freeze when they’re invited to consider the ambiguous truths of astrology. My friend John suffers from dyslexia, while I myself am incapable of mastering the mysteries of economics. What’s your blind spot, Capricorn? What’s your own personal learning disability? Whatever it is, this would be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, to work with it. For the next few months, you will be able to call on what you need in order to diminish its power to limit you.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
“We cannot change anything until we accept it,” said psychologist Carl Jung. “Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.” Make that your hypothesis, Aquarius, and then conduct the following experiment. First, choose some situation you would like to transform. Next, open your heart to it with all the love and compassion you can muster. Go beyond merely tolerating it with a resigned disappointment. Work your way into a frame of mind in which you completely understand and sympathize with why it is the way it is. Imagine a scenario in which you could live your life with equanimity if the situation in question never changed. Finally, awash in this grace, meditate on how you might be able to actually help it evolve into something new.

Free Will Astrology

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Happy Valentine Daze, Aquarius! In my search for the counsel that would be of greatest help to your love life in the coming months, I decided on this observation by psychologist Albert Ellis: “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.” I hope you take that in the spirit in which I’m offering it. It’s not meant to suggest that you will be deprived of love’s burning, churning pleasures; I just want to make sure you know that your best bet for experiencing burning, churning pleasures is to be dogged and devoted and disciplined in your cultivation of burning, churning pleasures. Happy birthday to Mark Wilson, Kerri Breen, Davey Zegarac, and Michael Collins.

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
In 2010, you will have more cosmic assistance than you’ve had in a long time whenever you seek to increase your experience of pleasure. Do you want to get more sensual joy out of eating and drinking and dancing and listening to music? This is your year. Do you want to heighten your perceptiveness and find more beauty in the world and cultivate new ways to stimulate positive feelings and liberating emotions? This is your year. Do you want to intensify your orgasms and have more of them and learn how to use them to enhance your spiritual power? This is your year. And the coming weeks will be one of the best times in 2010 to move from charging up your pleasure to supercharging it. Happy Valentine Daze, Pisces! Happy birthday to Emilie Bourque, Sherri Levesque, Kevin Hehir, and Dan Murray.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
“Hate leaves ugly scars,” wrote author Mignon McLaughlin, but “love leaves beautiful ones.” If I’m reading the astrological omens correctly, Aries, you’re scheduled to receive at least one of the beautiful kind of scars in the coming months — maybe even two or three. In fact, I think they’ll be such lovely booboos that they will markedly add to your overall attractiveness. Rarely if ever have you been privileged to hurt as good as you will in 2010 — thanks to the benevolent jolts of love. Happy Valentine Daze!

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
In my view, 2010 is the year you should expand your world. That could mean enlarging your circle of allies or building a bigger web of connections. It might mean broadening your appeal or widening your frame of reference or opening your mind to possibilities you’ve been closed to. It may even involve extending your territory or increasing the range of your travels. However you choose to expand, Taurus, I urge you to put love at the heart of your efforts. Love should be the fuel that motivates you and the reference point that ensures you’re always making smart moves. For inspiration, memorize this line by poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning: “I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.” In your case, Taurus, “thee” should mean the whole world.

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
Of all the signs of the zodiac, you Geminis are most likely to thrive if you experiment with new approaches to kissing in the coming weeks. To whip up your fervor, read incendiary texts like William Cane’s The Art of Kissing. Conspire with an imaginative partner to conjure up a new kissing game or even a sacred kissing ritual. And come up with your own interpretations of the following kiss techniques: the throbbing kiss, the sip kiss, the butterfly kiss, the tiger kiss, the whispering kiss. Happy Valentine Daze!

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Happy Valentine Daze, Cancerian! After meditating about what advice would be most valuable for your love life in the coming months, I decided on this challenge from poet William Butler Yeats: “True love is a discipline in which each divines the secret self of the other and refuses to believe in the mere daily self.” In other words, create in your imagination a detailed picture of your loved ones at their best. Each day, make it a point to feel joy and gratitude for their most excellent beauty and power — as well as the beauty and power that are still ripening and will one day appear in full bloom.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
A friend of mine has woven her life together with a Leo who doesn’t fully appreciate the ways she expresses her adoration. She asked me to use my bully pulpit as a horoscope writer to convey a message to her lover, and I agreed, because I think it’s excellent advice for all of the Leo tribe this Valentine season. Here’s what she said: “Just because somebody doesn’t always love you the way you wish they would, doesn’t mean they don’t love you the best they can and with all they have.” Are you willing to consider the possibility that maybe you should take that plea to heart, Leo? I hope so, because then you’ll be able to get some of the good loving you’ve closed yourself off from.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
Happy Valentine Daze, Virgo! I meditated on what message might best energize your love life, and what I came up with is a declaration by author Mignon McLaughlin: “Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren’t even there before.” In other words, the love you should be most interested in during the coming months is the kind that opens your eyes to sights that were previously invisible and that creates new possibilities you’ve barely imagined.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
Happy Valentine Daze, Libra! My astrological hunch is that you’d benefit from the specific teaching that would come from exploring a three-way relationship. But wait. Don’t jump to conclusions. Here’s the form I think it should take: Fantasize that the merger of you and your lover or ally has created a third thing that hovers near you, protecting and guiding the two of you. Call this third thing an angel. Or call it the soul of your connection or the inspirational force of your relationship. Or call it the special work the two of you can accomplish together. And let this magical presence be the third point of your love triangle.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Happy Valentine Daze, Scorpio! After meditating on what advice would best serve your love life, I decided to offer you the words of psychologist Carl Jung: “The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.” As I see it, my dear, acting on Jung’s wisdom will help you carry out your primary task in the coming months, which is to bring novel experiences and fresh perspectives to your most engaging relationship. The best way to accomplish that is not with non-stop serious talk and intense analysis, but with a generous dose of playful improvisation and experimental fun.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
To prepare your Valentine horoscope, I did a lengthy meditation on your love life. I wish I could offer you a 20-page treatise on my conclusions, but there’s not enough room. So instead I’ll give you the single most important piece of advice I came up with: The coming week will be an excellent time for you to survey the history of your love life, starting with the first moment you ever fell in love. I mean you should actually stream the memories across your mind’s eye as if you were watching a movie. Feel all the feelings roused by each scene, but also try to maintain some objectivity about it all. Watch for recurring themes. Be especially alert for unexpected insights that emerge about the past. And through it all, be wildly compassionate toward yourself and your co-stars.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
“If I love you, what business is it of yours?” wrote Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Now I’m offering his words for you to use as your mantra in the coming months. Your main job, as I see it, is simply to be a lover of pretty much everything — to generate, cultivate, and express love in abundance — and not to worry about whether your love is reciprocated or how it’s regarded. It’s a tall order, I know — one of the most difficult assignments I’ve ever suggested. And yet I think you have the soul power and the crafty intelligence necessary to accomplish it. Happy Valentine Daze, Capricorn!

Free Will Astrology

Rob Brezsny tells Pisces to relax already.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
In the coming week, I predict that you will NOT experience disgusting fascinations, smiling-faced failures, sensationalized accounts of useless developments, or bizarre fantasies in the middle of the night. You may, on the other hand, have encounters with uplifting disappointments, incendiary offers of assistance, mysterious declarations of interdependence, and uproars that provoke your awe and humility in healing ways. In other words, Aquarius, it’ll be an uncanny, perhaps controversial time for you — but always leading in the direction of greater freedom. Happy birthday to John Young, Mike Rossiter, Brian Aylward, and Paul Warford.

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
Congrats on your growing ability to do more floating and less thrashing as you cascade down the stream of consciousness. I think you’re finally understanding that a little bit of chaos isn’t a sign that everything’s falling apart forever omigod the entire planet’s crashing and evil is in ascension . . . but rather that a healthy amount of bewildering unpredictability keeps things fresh and clean. My advice is to learn to relax even more as you glide with serene amusement through the bubbling and churning waters of life.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
Shakespeare got modest respect while he was alive, but his reputation as a brilliant bard didn’t gel right away. It wasn’t until almost 50 years after he died that anyone thought his life and work were notable enough to write about. By then, all his colleagues and compatriots were gone, unable to testify. He himself left little information to build a biography around. That’s why next to nothing is known about the person who made such a dramatic impact on the English language and literature. I suggest you take this as a metaphorical prod that will inspire you not to be blasé about the greatness that is in your vicinity. Don’t take superlative intelligence, talent, or love for granted. Recognize it, bless it, be influenced by it.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
You are the lord of all you survey! I swear to God! I’m almost tempted to say that you now have the power to command whirlwinds and alter the course of mighty rivers! At the very least you will be able to mobilize the ambition of everyone you encounter and brighten the future of every group you’re part of! Act with confident precision, Taurus! Speak with crisp authority! Your realm waits expectantly for the transformative decisions that will issue from the fresh depths of your emotional intelligence!

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
It’s time for you to fly away — to flee the safe pleasures that comfort you as well as the outmoded fixations that haunt you; to escape at least one of the galling compromises that twists your spirit as well as a familiar groove that numbs your intelligence. In my astrological opinion, Gemini, you need to get excited by stimuli that come from outside your known universe. You need fertile surprises that motivate you to resort to unpredictable solutions.

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
“I never meet anyone who admits to having had a happy childhood,” said writer Jessamyn West. “Everyone appears to think happiness betokens a lack of sensitivity.” I agree, and go further. Many creative people I know actually brag about how messed up their early life was, as if that was a crucial ingredient in turning them into the geniuses they are today. Well, excuse me for breaking the taboo, but I, Rob Brezsny, had a happy childhood, and it did not prevent me from becoming a sensitive artist. In fact, it helped. Now I ask you, my fellow Cancerian, whether you’re brave enough to go against the grain and confess that your early years had some wonderful moments? You’re in a phase of your cycle when recalling the beauty and joy of the past could be profoundly invigorating.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
Usually I overflow with advice about how to access your soul’s code. I love to help you express the unique blueprint that sets you apart from everyone else. Every now and then, though, it’s a healing balm to take a sabbatical from exploring the intricacies of your core truths. This is one of those times. For the next ten days, I invite you to enjoy the privilege of being absolutely nobody. Revel in the pure emptiness of having no clue about your deep identity. If anyone asks you, “Who are you?”, relish the bubbly freedom that comes from cheerfully saying, “I have no freaking idea!”

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
French novelist Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880) is generally regarded as one of the greats. His book Madame Bovary appears on many lists of the greatest novels of all time. And yet writing didn’t come especially easy for him. He worked as hard as a ditch-digger. It wasn’t uncommon for him to spend several agonizing days in squeezing out a single page. On some occasions he literally beat his head against a wall, as if trying to dislodge the right words from their hiding place in his brain. He’s your role model in the coming week, Virgo. You can create something of value, although it may require hard labor.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
My theory is that right now the whole world is in love with you. In some places, this simmering adoration is bordering on infatuation. Creatures great and small are more apt than usual to recognize what’s beautiful and original about you. As a result, wonders and marvels are likely to coalesce in your vicinity. Is there anything you can do to ensure that events unfold in ways that will yield maximum benefits for everyone concerned? Yes: Be yourself with as much tender intensity as you can muster.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
I hope that you saw the horoscope I wrote for you last week. And I hope that you acted on my advice and refrained from all sweating and striving and struggling. These past seven days were designed by the universe to be a time for you to recharge your psychic battery. Assuming that you took advantage of the opportunity, you should now be ready to shift gears. In this new phase, your assignment is to work extra hard and extra sweet on yourself. By that I mean you should make your way down into your depths and change around everything that isn’t functioning with grace and power. Tweak your attitudes. Rearrange your emotional flow. Be an introspective master of self-refinement.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
This horoscope borrows from one of my favorite Sagittarian visionaries, Jonathan Zap. The advice he gives below, which is in accordance with your astrological omens, is designed to help you avoid the fate he warns against. Here it is: “Many of the significant problems in our lives are more about recognizing the obvious rather than discovering the mysterious or hidden. One of the classic ways we deceive and hide from ourselves is by refusing to recognize the obvious, and shrouding what is right before us in rationalization and false complexity. We often delay and deny necessary transformation by claiming that there is a mysterious answer hidden from us, when actually we know the answers but pretend that we don’t.” (More at bit.ly/ZapOracle and Zaporacle.com.)

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
It’s a good time to take inventory of all the stories you allow to pour into your beautiful head. Do you absorb a relentless stream of fear-inducing news reports and violent movies and gossipy tales of decline and degeneration? Well, then, guess what: It’s the equivalent, for your psyche, of eating rotting bear intestines and crud scraped off a dumpster wall and pitchers full of trans fats from partially hydrogenated oil. But maybe, on the other hand, you tend to expose yourself to comedies that loosen your fixations and poems that stretch your understanding of the human condition and conversations about all the things that are working pretty well. If so, you’re taking good care of your precious insides; you’re fostering your mental health. Now please drink in this fresh truth from Nigerian writer Ben Okri: “Beware of the stories you read or tell; subtly, at night, beneath the waters of consciousness, they are altering your world.”

Free Will Astrology

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
The number of bacteria per square inch on a toilet seat averages about 50. Meanwhile, your telephone harbors over 25,000 germs per square inch and the top of your desk has about 21,000. I’d like you to use this as a metaphor that you can apply more universally. According to my analysis, you see, you are over-emphasizing the risks and problems in one particular area of your life and underestimating them elsewhere. Spend some time this week correcting the misdiagnoses. Happy birthday to Victor Lewis, Stephen Dunn, and Amy House.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
One of my readers, Judd, shared his vision of how to cope with the blahs of January. Given your astrological omens, I’d say his strategy perfectly embodies the approach you should take right now. Please study his testimony below, and come up with your own ingenious variation. “On the coldest of days, my friends and I celebrate ‘scrufting,’ the art of enjoying the great outdoors with indoor furniture, while listening to loud indie-rock and adorned in our grungiest slop-ware. Aided by Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout, we curse and laugh at the constraints of winter by playing our favorite summer sports like Frisbee, hacky-sack, and soccer.” Happy birthday to Chris Shortall, Krista Power, Peter Rompkey, and Steve Topping.

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
It’s graduation time. Not in any officially recognized sense, maybe, but still: You have completed your study of a certain subject in the school of life. At a later date, maybe you will resume studying this subject on a higher level, but for now you’ve absorbed all you can. I suggest you give yourself a kind of final exam. (Be sure to grade it yourself.) You might also want to carry out a fun ritual to acknowledge the completion of this chapter of your story. It will free up your mind and heart to begin the next chapter.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
The Earth’s north magnetic pole is not the same as the geographic North Pole. If you take out a compass to orient yourself toward due north, the compass arrow will actually point toward a spot in the frigid wilds of Canada. But what’s really odd is that the north magnetic pole has been on the move since 1904 — scientists don’t know exactly why — and has dramatically sped up in recent years. According to National Geographic, it’s now zooming toward Siberia at the rate of almost 40 miles per year. I suspect that your own metaphorical version of magnetic north will also be changing in 2010, Aries. By January 2011, the homing signal you depend on to locate your place in reality may have migrated significantly. This is a good time to start tracking the shift.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
“The common idea that success spoils people by making them vain, egotistic, and self-complacent is erroneous,” wrote W. Somerset Maugham. “On the contrary, it makes them, for the most part, humble, tolerant, and kind.” I think the trajectory of your journey during the last 12 months tends to confirm his theory, Taurus. According to my analysis, you set new benchmarks for your personal best in 2009, while at the same time becoming a wiser, riper human being. Congrats! Now get out there and capitalize on the grace you’ve earned. Be as organized as possible as you share the fruits of your progress.

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
The Onion, which describes itself as “America’s Finest News Source,” ran a feature on the inventor Thomas Edison. He “changed the face of modern life in 1879,” said the report, “when he devised the groundbreaking new process of taking ideas pioneered by other scientists and marketing them as his own.” The tone was mocking, of course, but I’m perfectly sincere when I urge you to imitate Edison in the coming weeks. Given the current astrological omens, you’d be wise to take advantage of the breakthroughs of others and make good use of resources created by others. Just be sure that you give credit where credit is due, and you’ll actually be doing everyone a service.

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
A Scorpio is willing and maybe even eager to share secrets with you. Can you marshal just the right amount of self-protection — not too much, not too little — to trust a little more and go deeper? As for Virgo: That under-self-confident person would really benefit from getting more appreciation from you. Don’t be stingy. Meanwhile, I think you’re suffering from a misunderstanding about an Aquarius. It will be in your selfish interest to clear it up. A few more tips: Don’t give up on Pisces. There’s more to come when the coast is clearer. Browse but don’t buy yet with a Leo. And make business, but not love or war, with a Capricorn.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
I like it best when the creek that runs near my home is wide and deep. It gets that way at high tide, when the moon shepherds in a surge of water from the bay. As I gaze out at the swollen cascade, I feel full and fertile; everything’s right with the world. Inevitably, though, the tide goes out and the flow turns meek and narrow. Then my mood is less likely to soar. A slight melancholy may creep in. But I’ve learned to love that state, too — to derive a quiet joy from surveying the muddy banks where the water once ran, the muck imprinted with tracks of egrets and ducks. Besides, I know it’s only a matter of time before the tide shifts and the cascade returns. Enjoy your own personal version of the low-tide phase, Leo. High tide will be coming back your way soon.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
If you asked me to make you a mix tape that would be conducive for making love to, I wouldn’t be in the least surprised. These long January nights are ideal times for you Virgos to be unleashing your dormant passion and sharing volcanic pleasure and exploring the frontier where delight overlaps with wonder. In the compilation of tunes I’d create for you, I’d probably have stuff like “Teardrop” by Massive Attack, “Breathe Me” by Sia, “Supermassive Black Hole” by Muse, and “6 Underground” by the Sneaker Pimps. But I think it’s a better idea for you to assemble your own soundtrack. Tell me about it if you do. I’m at Truthrooster@gmail.com.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
The world’s tallest waterfall is Angel Falls in Venezuela. It was named after Jimmie Angel, an American who was the first person to fly a plane over it in 1933. Recently, Venezuela’s president suggested that this place should be officially renamed Kerepakupai Meru, which is what the indigenous Pemon Indians have always called it. The coming weeks happen to be a favorable time for you to consider making a comparable move, Libra: restoring a natural wonder to its original innocence; rehabilitating the truth about a beautiful resource; returning an old glory to its pristine state.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
In the first half of 2010, your calling will be calling to you more loudly and insistently than it has in years. It will whisper to you seductively while you’re falling asleep. It will clang like a salvation bell during your mid-morning breaks. It will soothe you with its serpentine tones and it will agitate you with its rippling commands to spring into action. How will you respond to these summonses from your supreme inner authority? This week will be a good test.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
“You can have it all,” says fashion designer Luella Bartley. “It’s just really hard work.” That’s my oracle for you, Sagittarius — not just for this week, but for the next three months as well. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos will indeed permit you to have your cake and eat it, too, as long as you’re willing to manage your life with more discipline, master the crucial little details everyone else neglects, and always give back at least as much as you’re given.

Free Will Astrology

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
Imagine that money is not just the literal cash and checks you give and receive, but that it is also an invisible force of nature like gravity or electromagnetism. Then imagine that it’s possible for this primal energy to be favorably disposed toward you—that on some occasions its rhythms may be more closely aligned with your personal needs. Can you picture that, Aquarius? I hope so, because there is a sense in which this seeming fantasy will be an actuality for you during much of 2010. How well you’re able to capitalize will depend in part on how high you keep your integrity levels. Are you prepared to be more impeccably ethical, fair, and honest than you’ve ever been?

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
Have you been toiling away earnestly at the exhausting homework that life has dumped on you this past year? Have you kept the faith even when you’ve been fooled and confused? Have you applied yourself with a pure heart to the maddening details and puzzling riddles you’ve been asked to master? If you’ve been less than conscientious at doing these tasks, the next two months will bring you a series of tricky final exams. But if you have been doing your due diligence, then you’re on the brink of graduating from boring old problems that you have been studying and studying and studying for a long time. Do we dare hope that you will soon be free of a history that has repeated itself ad nauseam? Yes, I think we do dare.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
I don’t understand why the astronomers responsible for naming new-found objects are so devoid of flair. Here’s a prime example: They found a blazar, or blazing quasi-stellar object, in a faraway galaxy. It’s powered by a supermassive black hole that’s 10 billion times larger than our sun. Why did they give this fantastic oddity the crushingly boring name “Q0906+6930”? Couldn’t they have called it something like “Queen Anastasia” or “Blessed Quasimodo” or “Gastromopolopolis”? I trust you won’t be as lazy in your approach to all the exotic discoveries you’re going to be making in 2010, Aries. Start getting your imagination in top shape. Make sure it’s primed and ready for your upcoming walkabout to the far reaches of reality.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
Scientists say that pretty much everywhere you go on this planet, you are always within three feet of a spider. That will be an especially useful and colorful truth for you to keep in mind during 2010. Hopefully it’ll inspire you to take maximum advantage of your own spider-like potentials. It’s going to be web-spinning time, Taurus: an excellent phase in your long-term life cycle to weave an extended network — with you at the hub — that will help you catch an abundance of the resources you need.

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
I don’t normally recommend that you worry too much about what others think of you. In 2010, however, you could benefit from thinking about that subject more than usual. Judging from the astrological omens, I suspect that you’ll be able to correct misunderstandings that have negatively affected your reputation. You might even have the power to shift people’s images of you so that they’re in relatively close alignment with the truth about who you actually are. Here’s the best news: You may be more popular than you’ve ever been.

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
I’m hoping that you will get out more in 2010. And I mean way out. Far out. Not just out to the unexplored hotspots on the other side of town (although that would be good), but also out to marvelous sanctuaries on the other side of paradise. Not just out to the parts of the human zoo where you feel right at home, but also out to places in the urban wilderness where you’ll encounter human types previously unknown to you. In conclusion, traveler, let me ask you this: What was the most kaleidoscopic trip you’ve ever taken? Consider the possibility of surpassing it in the next 12 months.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
One of the 20th century’s greatest scientific minds was Nobel Prize-winning physicist Max Planck. He knew that in his field, like most others, ingenious innovation doesn’t automatically rise to the top. The advancement of good new ideas is hampered by the conservatism and careerism of scientists. “A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light,” he wrote, “but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it.” In 2010, Leo, there’ll be a similar principle at work in your sphere. Influences that have been impeding the emergence of excellence will burn out, dissipate, or lose their mojo. As a result, you’ll be able to express and take advantage of innovations that have previously been quashed.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
Twenty-two percent of American rightwing fundamentalists believe that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. On the other hand, 73 percent of the people who read my horoscopes think that if there were such a thing as an Anti-Christ, he would be an American rightwing fundamentalist. But I’d like to discourage speculations like that among the Virgo tribe in 2010. According to my reading of the omens, you should take at least a year off from getting worked up about your version of the devil. Whoever you demonize, just let them alone for a while. Whatever you tend to fault as the cause of the world’s problems, give your blame mechanism a rest. As much as possible, create for yourself an Enemy-Free Zone.

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
I’m hoping that 2010 will be the year you do whatever it takes to fall more deeply in love with the work you do. I’d like to see you reshape the job you have so that it better suits your soul’s imperatives. If that’s not possible, consider looking for or even creating a new job. The cosmos will be conspiring to help you accomplish this. Both hidden and not-so-hidden helpers will be nudging you to earn your livelihood in ways that serve your highest ideals and make you feel at peace with your destiny.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
“It Don’t Mean a Thing (If It Ain’t Got That Swing)” is a jazz tune composed in 1931 by Duke Ellington and Irving Mills. In accordance with your long-term astrological omens, I propose that we make that song title your motto in 2010 — the standard you’ll keep referring to as you evaluate which experiences you want to pursue and which you don’t. Please proceed on the assumption that you should share your life energy primarily with people and situations that make your soul sing and tingle and swing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
I hope you will get more sleep in 2010. And eat better food, too. And embark on some regimen like meditation that will reduce your stress levels. In general, Sagittarius, I hope you will learn a lot more about what makes your body function at optimum levels, and I hope you will diligently apply what you learn. That doesn’t mean I think you should be an obsequiously well-behaved pillar of the community. On the contrary, what I’m envisioning is that by taking better care of yourself you will make yourself strong enough to run wilder and freer.

Homework: Create a title that captures the essence of what you hope to accomplish in 2010, like “The Year I Become a Modest Super-Hero.” FreeWillAstrology.com

Free Will Astrology

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22 – Dec 21)
“Dear Rob: I love to be proven wrong. That’s not an ironic statement. I actually get excited and feel creative when I acquire new information that shows me I’ve been operating under a misunderstanding. One of my very favorite life moments occurs when I am convincingly liberated from a negative opinion I’ve been harboring about someone. As you can tell, I’m quite proud of this quality. The way I see it, emotional wealth and psychological health involve having so much self-respect that I don’t need to be right all the time. -Sagittarian Freedom Fighter.” Dear Freedom Fighter: Thanks for your testimony. The capacity you described is one that many Sagittarians will be poised to expand in 2010. And this is an excellent week for them to start getting the hang of it. Happy birthday to Kelly Davis, Jon Montes, Andrew Wickens, Michelle Bush, and Kym Greeley.

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 19)
In an early version of the tale of Pinocchio, friendly woodpeckers chiseled his nose back to its original size after it had grown enormous from his incorrigible lying. From a metaphorical perspective, Capricorn, a comparable development may soon occur in your own life. A benevolent (if somewhat rough) intervention akin to the woodpeckers’ assistance will shrink an overgrown, top-heavy part of your attitude, allowing you to proceed to the next chapter of your story with streamlined grace.

AQUARIUS (Jan 20 – Feb 18)
“There is light enough for those who wish to see,” wrote French philosopher Blaise Pascal, “and darkness enough for those of the opposite disposition.” I’m hoping you will align yourself with the first group in the coming week, Aquarius. More than ever before, what you choose to focus on will come rushing in to meet you, touch you, teach you, and prompt you to respond. Even if all the smart people you know seem to be drunk on the darkness, I encourage you to be a brave rebel who insists on equal time for the light.

PISCES (Feb 19 – Mar 20)
White dwarfs are small and extremely dense stars. They’re typically no bigger than the Earth but as heavy as the sun. You currently have a resemblance to one of those concentrated balls of pure intensity. I have rarely seen you offering so much bang for the buck. You are as flavorful as chocolate mousse, as piercing as the scent of eucalyptus, as lustrous as a fireworks display on a moonless night. Personally, I’m quite attracted to your saucy and zesty emanations, and I think most people with strong egos will be. But some underachievers with lower self-esteem may regard you as being more like astringent medicine. My advice: Gravitate toward those who like you to be powerful.

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 19)
When Carolee Schneeman was a kid, her extravagant adoration of nature earned her the nickname “mad pantheist.” Later, during her career as a visual artist, she described her relationship with the world this way: “I assume the senses crave sources of maximum information, that the eye benefits by exercise, stretch, and expansion towards materials of complexity and substance.” I hope that you’re attracted to that perspective right now, Aries. To be in most productive alignment with the cosmic rhythms, you should be in a state of nearly ecstatic openness, hungry to be stretched — like a mad pantheist.

TAURUS (Apr 20 – May 20)
“Dear Rob: Last night my son and I were star-gazing. When we focused on the constellation Cassiopeia, an owl started hooting. Then a brilliant shooting star zipped by as a huge bat flew right over our heads. Was this a bad omen? Bats are creepy — associated with vampires. And in Greek mythology Cassiopeia got divine punishment because she bragged that she and her daughter were more beautiful than the sea god’s daughters. But I don’t know, maybe this blast of odd events was a good omen. Owls are symbols of wisdom and shooting stars are lucky, right? What do you think? Are we blessed or cursed? -Spooked Taurus.” Dear Spooked: The question of whether it’s good or bad luck is irrelevant. Here’s what’s important: You Tauruses are in a phase when the hidden workings of things will be shown to you — the mysterious magic that’s always bubbling below the surface but that is usually not visible.

GEMINI (May 21 – Jun 20)
The week ahead will be a ripe time to pull off magic reversals. May I suggest that you try to transform dishwater greys into sparkling golds? Or how about recycling the dead energy of a lost cause in such a way as to generate raw fuel for a fresh start? I’m confident, Gemini, that you’ll be able to discover treasure hidden in the trash, and that you’ll find a way to unleash the creative zeal that has been trapped inside polite numbness. Now ponder this riddle, please: Do you think there’s any mystical significance in the fact that the word “stressed” is “desserts” spelled backwards?

CANCER (Jun 21 – Jul 22)
Lately you remind me of the person Robert Hass describes in his poem “Time and Materials”: “someone falling down and getting up and running and falling and getting up.” I’m sending you my compassion for the times you fall down, and my admiration for the times you get up, and my excitement for the times you run. It has probably become clear to you by now that the falling down isn’t a shameful thing to be cursed, but rather is an instrumental part of the learning process that is teaching you marvelous secrets about getting back up and running.

LEO (Jul 23 – Aug 22)
“I burn for no reason, like a lantern in daylight,” writes poet Joseph Lease. I think that’s a succinct formulation of one of your central issues, Leo. Burning for no reason, like a lantern in the daylight, can be the cause of either failure or success for you, depending on subtle differences of emphasis. This is how it can be failure: When you’re mindlessly and wastefully burning through your prodigious reserves of fuel without any concern for the benefits it may provide you and others. This is how it can be success: When you are exuberant and self-disciplined in shining your light and radiating your warmth just because it feels so good and so right and so healthy, and without any thought about whether it’s “useful” to anyone.

VIRGO (Aug 23 – Sep 22)
In one of his short poems, John Averill (twitter.com/wiremesa) describes a scene that I think captures the essence of your current astrological omens: “Today is the day of the photo of moonrise over Havana in a book on a shelf in the snowbound cabin.” Here’s a clue about what it means: The snowbound cabin is where you are right now in your life. The moonrise over Havana is where you could be early in 2010. How do you get there from here?

LIBRA (Sep 23 – Oct 22)
An estuary is a bay where the salt water of a sea mixes with the fresh water of rivers. These days you remind me of such a place. You are two-toned, Libra. You’re dual-purpose and double-tracked. You’re a hybrid blend of the yes and the no, the give and the take, the extravagant and the traditional. And somehow this has been working out pretty well for you. You’re not so much a dysfunctional contradiction as an interesting juxtaposition. You’re not being crushed by a squeeze of opposites so much as you’re getting massaged by the oscillating throbs of complementary influences. Keep doing what you’ve been doing, only more so.

SCORPIO (Oct 23 – Nov 21)
Big shiny egos with flashy tricks may be mucking around in everyone’s business, calling narcissistic attention to themselves as they pretend to do noble deeds. Meanwhile, I hope you’ll be doing the hard, detailed work that must be done to serve the greater good — quietly and unpretentiously improving people’s lives without demanding major tribute. That approach will stir up some sleek, silky karma that will come in handy when you undertake the building of your masterpiece in 2010.

Homework: Meditate on the difference between your fearful fantasies and your accurate intuitions. For inspiration, listen to my free podcast at www.bit.ly/unqAj

Free Will Astrology

Photo from The Scope’s Flickr Pool by Colin Tobin

Rob Brezsny clears Sagittarius for take-off.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
Have you resolved every last detail of your unfinished business? Have you tied up the loose ends, flushed out the lingering delusions, and said your final goodbyes to the old ways and old days? “Yes,” you say? You’re absolutely positive? Well then, it is with a deep sense of pleasure and relief that I hereby unbound you and unleash you. You are officially cleared for take-off into the wild blue yonder or the fizzy red vortex or the swirling green amazement, whichever you prefer. Happy birthday to Sara Tilley, Sharleen Simmons, Sharona Clarke, Duane Andrews and Joanne Fennelly.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
“There is a saying that when the student is ready, the teacher appears,” writes Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book Women Who Run with the Wolves. But the magic of that formula may not unfold with smooth simplicity, she says: “The teacher comes when the soul, not the ego, is ready. The teacher comes when the soul calls, and thank goodness — for the ego is never fully ready.” I’d love it if the information I just provided encouraged you to feel right at home with the jarring yet nurturing lessons that are on the way.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
In the ancient Greek epic poems the Iliad and the Odyssey, the nature of the psyche was portrayed differently from the way it is today. It was understood that people received information directly from the gods — not as vague feelings or abstract guesswork, but rather in the form of actual voices. In other words, divine beings spoke directly to human beings. These days that’s regarded as crazy; witness the incredulous reactions that most smart people had when George W. Bush said God personally told him to invade Iraq. With that as subtext, I’m going to prophesy that a deity will soon have a message for you. Be careful, though. An imposter may also slip you tips that you’d best ignore. How to tell the difference? The real thing won’t make you feel inflated or urge you to cause harm.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
In the coming week, keep a lookout for invisible snakes, pretend ghosts, and illusory dragons. Be prepared to gaze upon gruff displays that are no threat to you and hints of fermenting chaos that will never materialize. In other words, Pisces, your subconscious mind may be prone to conjuring up imaginary problems that have little basis in reality. I exhort you to fling them aside like a superhero brushing off toy monsters.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
“A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us,” wrote Ralph Waldo Emerson. My wish for you, Aries, is that you will have many such days in the coming weeks. In fact, I hope that you will be blessed over and over again with the hair-raising thrill of having your imagination pricked, causing it to half-blossom, half-explode. To get the most out of the fantastic possibilities, set aside any tendency you might have to be a know-it-all, and instead open up your heart’s mind and your mind’s heart as wide and deep as they will go.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
In the beginning of his career, poet Linh Dinh loved to stay up late and write, sometimes riding a creative surge till dawn. The power of the darkness unleashed a stark fertility. He was free to think thoughts that were harder to invoke during the bright hours when hordes of wide-awake people were pouring their chattering thoughts out into the soup. Dinh’s habits changed as he aged, though, in part because he got married and chose to keep more regular hours. But his early imprint has stayed alive inside him. “Now I can write at any time of the day,” he says, “because I always carry the night inside of me.” In accordance with your astrological omens, Taurus, I’m making that your prescription for the coming week: Carry the night inside you during the day.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Mark, a friend of mine who lives in New Jersey, sent an overnight package via UPS to Jerry, a friend of his who lives 30 miles away in Pennsylvania. The delivery arrived on time, so Mark was happy with the service. But in checking the tracking information online, he discovered a curious thing: His package was loaded onto three different airplanes, passed through five different UPS offices, and eventually traveled over a thousand miles in order to arrive at Jerry’s house. I expect there’ll be a comparable scenario in your world, Gemini: A wish will be fulfilled by a very circuitous route.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Strictly speaking — going purely by the astrological omens — I conclude that you would generate amazing cosmic luck if you translated the Beatles’ song “Norwegian Wood” into Punjabi, wore shoes made of 18th-century velvet, or tried out for a Turkish volleyball team. I doubt you’ll get it together to pull off those exotic feats, however, so I’ll also provide some second-best suggestions. You won’t receive quite as much cosmic assistance from doing them, but you’ll still benefit considerably. Here are the back-ups: Begin planning where and when you’ll take a sacred vacation in 2010; meditate on who among your current allies is most likely to help you expand your world in the next 12 months; decide which of your four major goals is the least crucial to pursue; and do something dramatic to take yourself less seriously.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
The most popular hobby in my home country of America — even more popular than owning guns and pressing lawsuits — is cultivating fears. From agonizing about being lonely to ramping up paranoia about pandemic illnesses to worrying about the collapse of the economy, my fellow citizens love to fret. Outside the U.S., angst accumulation ranks almost as high on the list of pastimes. Luckily, you Leos are less likely to wallow than most of the other signs — especially these days. That’s why I hope you’ll take a leadership role in the coming weeks, when many people will be dipping even deeper than usual into the fetid trough of scaremongering. Please help dispel this trend! Be your most radiant and courageous self — even bigger and brighter than usual.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
An article in the Online Noetics Network profiled the work of Robert Muller, who served as Assistant Secretary-General of the United Nations. It said that Muller is “one of the best informed human beings on the planet,” with an “encyclopedic grasp of the facts concerning the state of the world.” And yet Muller doesn’t keep up with the news as it’s reported in the media. Instead, he simply talks to people, either in person as he travels, or on the phone, or through written correspondence. These interactions provide him with all the understanding he needs. I recommend that you try Muller’s approach for a while, Virgo. Assume that you can get all the information you really need by gathering first-hand reports from people about what’s actually happening in their lives.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
I think it’s high time to mess with the tried and true formulas. In order to do the most good for the most people, and to regenerate a wounded and weak part of yourself, you simply must create some cracks in the way things have always been done. You must push beyond your overly safe limits. But wait! Before you plunge ahead, make sure you understand this: If you want to break the rules properly, you’ve got to study them and analyze them and learn them inside out.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
“There’s nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly,” said philosopher Buckminster Fuller. I encourage you to make that your personal motto in the coming weeks, Scorpio. From what I can tell, you are capable of generating a transformation that will look impossible to casual observers. You have the power to change something that everyone said would never change.

Homework: Make a guess about what you will be most proud of 15 years from today. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Free Will Astrology

Beatrice di Folco Portinari was the principal inspiration for Dante Alighieri’s Vita Nuova. Painting by Rossetti.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Your anti-role model—the person you should be the opposite of — is the Scorpio warrior, U.S. General George Patton, also known as “Old Blood and Guts.” He once said, “Practically everyone but myself is a pusillanimous son of a bitch.” That’s an attitude you should especially avoid in the coming weeks, since your success will depend on you seeing the best in people—even if they sometimes don’t seem to warrant it. P.S. It may be okay to think of yourself as “Old Blood and Guts” if and only if you dedicate your ferocity to the service of smart love and ingenious collaboration. Happy birthday to Eamon, Ryan Cleary, Ben Jackson, Bryhanna Greenough and Sara Tilley.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
Congratulations, Sagittarius! Free Will Astrology’s Task Force on Creative Suffering has confirmed that your current dilemmas are exceptionally interesting and useful. You have demonstrated an impressive talent for getting embroiled in riddles that promise to bring out your dormant reserves of vitality and ingenuity. The dumfounding questions you’ve been wrestling with are high-caliber tests that have drawn you closer to the heart of the reasons you’re here on Earth. Take full advantage of this beautiful mess, my dear. Chaos this fertile is hard to come by.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
When Dante was nine years old, long before he became one of Italy’s supreme poets, he fell in love with Beatrice, an eight-year-old girl he met at a May Day party. They never had a close relationship. In the years after their initial encounter, they met infrequently, and both eventually married other people. But Beatrice played a crucial role throughout Dante’s life, although she died at the age of 24. She was not just his muse, but also his “beatitude, the destroyer of all vices and the queen of virtue, salvation.” Dante even wrote her into his Divine Comedy in the role of a guide. Is there any person or influence in your life equivalent to Beatrice? Any once-upon-a-time blessing that might be ready to give you the fullness of the gifts it has been waiting all this time to deliver?

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
I would love it if you could find a sword that could cut itself. Or a fire that could burn itself. Or some water you could wash. But even if you can conjure the magic to attract an experience that simply resembles one of those marvelous paradoxes, it would set in motion a series of epiphanies that would liberate you from an inferior paradox — a confusing absurdity that is not worthy of you and that has been draining your life force.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
The planets are aligned in such a way that suggests you may be able to experience an orgasm solely by meditating. This rare cosmic alignment also means that it’s conceivable you could generate money or attract new resources by following your holy bliss, or that you might stumble upon the tricky treasure you’ve been looking for in all the wrong places. But I can’t say for sure that you will actually be able to capitalize on any of these remarkable opportunities. It will depend on whether you can more fully express one of the skills that is your birthright as a Pisces: being wild and disciplined at the same time.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
There was a time when wetlands were considered dismal and unproductive. At best they were thought to be a waste of space, and at worst stinky breeding grounds for insect pests. For over 200 years, many marshes, bogs, and swamps were filled with dirt and transformed into places suitable for farms, houses, and recreational areas. But all that has changed in the last 30 years. Science has rehabilitated the reputation of wetlands, showing how crucial they are. They clean toxins from water, help control floods and soil erosion, and are home to more biological diversity than any other ecosystem. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to make a comparable conversion, Aries. Something you once demeaned or underestimated could become an inspirational catalyst.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
In the coming week, you will have the potential to articulate what has never been spoken before and to name truths that everyone has been avoiding. Uncoincidentally, you may also be able to hear what you’ve never been able to hear up until now and tune in to truths you’ve been oblivious to. As you might imagine, Taurus, you must fully activate both of these capacities in order for either to function at its best.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Nature’s rhythm is cyclical. Everything alive waxes and wanes. If you’re smart, you honor that flow by periodically letting parts of your world wither or go to sleep. If you’re not so smart, you set yourself up for needless pain by indulging in the delusion that you can enjoy uninterrupted growth. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Gemini, this is your time to explore the creative possibilities of ebbing and slackening. Ask yourself the following question, which I’ve borrowed from the Jungian author Clarissa Pinkola Estes: “What must I allow to die today in order to generate more life tomorrow?”

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Pregnant women sometimes have unusual cravings. From the fourth to sixth month of her daughter’s gestation period, for example, my friend Marta was on occasion beset by the longing to eat toothpaste. I’ve known other women who fantasized about nibbling on mud, coffee grounds, and chalk. Fortunately, they all resisted the urge, which is what health practitioners recommend. Instead they tried to figure out if their bodies were trying to tell them about some legitimate deficiency of vitamins or minerals. I offer this to you as a metaphor to keep in mind. As your own special creation ripens, you may experience odd desires. Don’t necessarily take them at face value.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
It might be tempting to turn your home into a womb-like sanctuary and explore the mysteries of doing absolutely nothing while clad in your pajamas. And frankly, this might be a good idea. After the risks you’ve taken to reach out to the other side, after the bridges you’ve built in the midst of the storms, after the skirmishes you’ve fought in the Gossip Wars, you have every right to retreat and get your homebody persona humming at a higher vibration. So I say: Be meticulously leisurely as you celebrate the deep pleasures of self-care.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
“Hey Rob: I was having trouble finishing my novel — typical writer’s block. So I sidetracked myself into making silly creative projects — papier-mache chickens, masks made out of junk mail, collages incorporating bottle caps and dryer lint. I can’t say any of it is ‘art,’ but I feel creative again and my house is full of colorful stuff I whipped up myself. If you wait to be perfect, I concluded, you’ll never make anything. I tried something I knew I’d be bad at, so failure didn’t matter. Now I’m branching out with my inadequacy — not waiting for Mr. Perfect but having a beer with Joe Flawed, forgetting to be right all the time, admitting that I haven’t a clue. I’ve become smilingly, brilliantly dumb. —Inappropriate Virgo.” Dear Inappropriate: Congrats! You’re doing exactly what I want to advise all Virgos everywhere to try.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
At a yard sale today, I paid a dollar for a stained, pocket-sized horoscope book with many of its pages missing. The reason I made such an odd investment is that it had a forecast for Libra for the first part of November 2009, and this forecast struck me as even more useful than the horoscope I had composed for you. As a public service, I’m providing it here. “The graceful dragonfly lives for just a few months. But a sequoia tree’s time on earth can last 2,000 years. In the same way, some bonds, some creations, some worlds, endure for a mere blink in eternity, while others are destined to outfox the ravages of time. What will be the lifespan of the dream you recently hatched, Libra? It is time to decide and take action.”

Homework: I invite you to launch a crusade to raise the level of well-being everywhere you go. Report results to FreeWillAstrology.com

Free Will Astrology

Photo from The Scope Flickr pool by Adam Penney

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
The astrological vibes suggest that you open yourself wide, try everything, and give freely. I urge you to adapt as your motto an exhortation that once came out of the mouth of the seven-year-old cartoon character Dennis the Menace: “Hey! Wake up! Let’s go everywhere and do everything!” More than any other phase in many moons, Scorpio, this is your moment to make YES your battle cry. The world is asking you to be bigger than the old you, wilder than five blood oaths put together, and as strong as the full moon rising over a mountain. Happy birthday to Diana Daly, Helen Gregory, Gabriel Piller and Jerry Stamp.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
The average middle class person alive today has more goodies than the kings and queens of times past. In fact, even during this time of economic retrenchment, most of us have a higher standard of living than 99 percent of all the humans who’ve ever walked the planet. In pointing this out, I don’t mean to discount the suffering of those who’ve lost their jobs and homes. But I think it’s helpful to keep our collective deprivations in perspective. Similarly, I like to remember that no matter how much our personal trials may test us, they are more bearable than, say, the tribulations of the generation that lived through the Great Depression and World War II. Keep this in mind, Sagittarius. As you wander in the limbo between the end of one chapter of your life story and the beginning of the next chapter, it’ll really help to stay conscious of how blessed you are. Halloween costume suggestion: a saint tending to the needs of the dispossessed and underprivileged.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
It’s prime time for intense and momentous social events. Of the gatherings you may attend, I hope you’ll find at least one that fits the following descriptions: 1. a warm fluidic web of catalytic energy where you awaken to new possibilities about how to create close alliances; 2. a sweet, jangly uproar where you encounter a strange attractor — a freaky influence that makes the hair on the back of your neck rise and lights up the fertile parts of your imagination; 3. a sacred party where you get a novel vision of how to connect with the divine realms more viscerally. Halloween costume suggestion: something that incorporates a hub, wheel, or web.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
The members of the congregation at St. Peter-at-Gowts Church in Lincoln, England had a minor crisis a few years ago. For years, they had prayed to a very old stone sculpture they assumed was a likeness of the Virgin Mary. Then a nosy archaeologist came poking around and informed them that the figure was actually Arimanius, the god of the underworld in the ancient Mithraic religion. I encourage you to make sure you’re not under a comparable misimpression, Aquarius. This is an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for you to seek the help of higher powers, but it’s crucial that you direct your invocations to the right source.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Some of history’s worst tyrants have been terrified by kittens. Napoleon, Genghis Khan, and Mussolini all had ailurophobia, a morbid and irrational fear of domestic felines. Alexander the Great and Julius Caesar were also discombobulated by cats. I bring this up, Pisces, because it reminds me of a certain situation in your life. I’m betting that a pushy or domineering influence that distorts your emotions will soon be susceptible to being spooked by a seemingly harmless little thing. Maybe you could turn this into a permanent advantage. How skilled are you at purring?

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
“The clouds are the most fertile part of the sky,” writes Guy Murchie in his book The Seven Mysteries of Life. Microbes with short life cycles live there in abundance, “eating, breathing, excreting, floating, swimming, competing, reproducing.” Next time you look up at a puffy cumulus, see it as a large city that hosts a teeming host of living things. Speaking of invisible fecundity, let’s turn our attention to you. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are largely unaware of how much creative energy has been building up within you. Your homework is to tap into it and unleash it.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
My friend Alcea, the pagan priestess who leads group rituals, is a responsible sort who has humble respect for the power of the spirit realms. She thinks there can be value in seeking help from the beings who dwell on the other side of the veil, but you’ve got to be careful. They can be as clueless and misguided as the less evolved characters who live on the material plane. That’s why Alcea is especially impeccable around this time of year, when the veil between the worlds is thinner and our dimension is more accessible to the spirits. Having said all that as a caveat, Taurus, I want to let you know that this would be an excellent time for you to call on the help of your most intelligent, interesting, and loving ancestors.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
“He who loves 50 people has 50 woes,” said Buddha. “He who loves no one has no woes.” Even if you agree with this sour observation, I urge you to override the warning it implies. Now, more than ever, you can and should attract rich benefits into your life by expanding the frontiers of your empathy — even if it means you will feel the hurts of others more deeply. And what exactly are those rich benefits? Here’s one: Getting close-up views of the ways people suffer will help you avoid suffering like that yourself in the future.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
In the film Postcards from the Edge, the character played by Meryl Streep made a monumental declaration: “Instant gratification takes too long.” I know exactly what she meant. Sometimes I wish I could have what I want before I have to endure even a moment of frustrated longing. I bring this up, my fellow Cancerian, because in the coming week we may get our yearnings satisfied before we fully express them. Of course, there could be a downside to this situation: Since the magic will be materializing so quickly, you’d better be very sure you really want what you even start to wish for.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Cement is the most common human-made material in the world. Combined with water to make concrete, it is a fundamental ingredient in many buildings and roads. And yet no one knew its precise structure until recently. Then a group of scientists figured out that its strength comes not from its orderliness but rather from its messiness. At the atomic level, cement’s molecules display both regular geometric patterns and areas of random variation. It’s in these chaotic areas that water molecules bind with the cement, creating a structure that’s both flexible and robust. This is the kind of foundation I urge you to work on in the coming weeks, Leo — a configuration that will endure exactly because it has a lot of give.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
In my dream last night, the High Priestess from the Tarot deck came to life and gave me the following message: “Tell Virgos that when their deep hunger starts to stir, they should not eat from the bowl of delicious seeds. That meager meal would not satisfy their deep hunger. Rather, they should plant those seeds and let them grow up. The resulting harvest will satisfy their deep hunger.”

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
It’s an excellent time to see if you can remove some of the neurotic twitches from your erotic itches. For example, you could use all your ingenuity to talk yourself out of the silly guilt you feel for having a certain idiosyncratic desire — a desire that, if acted out, would hurt no one, and that is therefore, by definition, healthy. Here’s another possibility: You could invoke the full powers of your imagination as you free yourself from things that prevent you from experiencing maximum pleasure, like old wounds, simmering anger, rank egotism, and limiting beliefs.

Free Will Astrology

Photo by Rachel Jean Harding posted to The Scope Flickr pool.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Amazingly enough, the good deeds you do in the next 21 days could alone qualify you for a permanent exemption from hell. It seems God has cooked up some imminent tests that will give you a chance to garner some ridiculously sublime karma. What’s that you say? You don’t believe in either God or hell? Well then, interpret the opportunity this way: The good deeds you perform in the coming three weeks could practically ensure that the sins you’ve committed thus far in your life will not stain the world or be passed on as IOUs to the next generation. Happy birthday to Justin Simms, Craig Cantwell, Helen Gregory and Michael Phillips.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
In 1968, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn finished his book The Gulag Archipelago, a scorching indictment of the oppression that he and his countrymen suffered under the totalitarian regime of the Soviet Union. Banned for years, it was never formally published in his home country until 1989. Even after that, the new Russian government tried to control the teaching of history by suppressing texts like Solzhenitsyn’s. This year, all that changed. The Gulag Archipelago became required reading in Russian high schools. At last, the truth is officially available. (Maybe one day the equivalent will happen in the U.S., with alternate histories by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky finding their way into the curriculum.) I celebrate this breakthrough as a symbol of the events that are about to unfold in your personal life: the long-lost truth finally revealed.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
John, a colleague of mine, is a skillful psychotherapist. His father is in a similar occupation, psychoanalysis. If you ask John whether his dad gave him a good understanding of the human psyche while he was growing up, John quotes the old maxim: “The shoemaker’s son has no shoes.” Is there any comparable theme in your own life, Capricorn? Some talent or knowledge or knack that should have been but was not a part of your inheritance; a natural gift you were somehow cheated out of in your early environment? If so, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to start recovering from your loss and getting the good stuff you have coming to you.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Let’s imagine that an independent filmmaker has been following you around, gathering footage for a movie based on the story of your life. This week he or she would face a dilemma. That’s because unexpected new sub-plots may arise, veering off in directions that seem to be far afield from the core themes. The acting of the central players won’t be bad or unskillful, but it might be out of character with what they’ve done before. And there could be anomalous intrusions that impinge on the main scenes, like a bug landing on your nose during an intense conversation. Yet I can’t help wondering if this chapter of the tale won’t be extra intriguing for just these reasons.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
“Tenderness and rot / share a border,” writes the U.S. Poet Laureate Kay Ryan in one of her poems. “And rot is an / aggressive neighbor / whose iridescence / keeps creeping over.” Your job in the coming week, Pisces, is to reinforce that border — with a triple-thick wall, if necessary — so that the rot cannot possibly ooze over and infect tenderness. It is especially important right now that the sweet, deep intimacy you dole out and stimulate will not get corrupted by falseness or sentimentality. I urge you to stir up the smartest affection you have ever created.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
The poet Stephen Mallarmé wrote the following in a letter to a friend: “I don’t know which of my internal climates I should explore in order to find you and meet you.” I love that passage. It alludes to one of the central facts about the nature of reality: The quality of your consciousness is crucial in determining whether you’ll be able to attract the resources that are essential to your dreams coming true. In order to get what you want, you have to work on yourself at least as hard as you work on the world around you. This is always true, of course, but it’s especially true for you now, Aries.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Is there anything in your life that you don’t really want but nevertheless find it hard to part with? A situation or experience that gives you a perverse sense of comfort because of its familiarity, even though it has a steep emotional cost and doesn’t serve your higher dreams? If so, the coming week will be an excellent time to change your relationship with it. You will make dramatic progress if you brainstorm about how you could break up the stagnant energy that keeps you entranced and entrapped.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
One of my New Age friends says she has it on good authority that the Seven Lords of Time will reconvene in their Himalayan sanctuary on December 21, 2012 and reinvent the nature of time, as they last did back in 3114 BC. I have no idea if that’s true or not, but if it is, I say “hallelujah!” We would all benefit from some big-time reinvention of time. But that happy event, even if it actually does come to pass, is still more than three years away. What to do in the meantime? Luckily, you Geminis now have major personal power to do some time reinvention of your own. To get the meditations rolling, ask yourself what three things you could do to stop fighting time and start loving it better.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Soup is your metaphor for the week, Cancerian. Symbolically speaking, it’s the key to your personal power and a model for the approach you should take in everything you do. On the most basic level, you might want to eat some soup every day. That will make potent suggestions to your subconscious mind about how to mix lots of ingredients together so that their value and beauty as a totality are more than the sum of their parts. Not just in the kitchen, but in every area of your life, blend many little miscellaneous things into one big interesting thing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Change your password. Take a different way home. Ask a question you’ve never asked. Dream up a new nickname for yourself. Choose a new lucky number. Change the way you tell the story about an important event in your past. Make it a little more difficult for people to have you pegged. Eat a type of food you’ve never tried. Do the research necessary to discover why one of your opinions may be wrong. Add a new step to your grooming ritual. Feel appreciation for a person whose charms you’ve become numb to. Surprise yourself at least once a day.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
One of the best modern Turkish poets was Seyfettin Bascillar, who worked as a meat inspector in New Jersey for many years before his death in 2002. Nobel Prize-winning poet Czesaw Miosz lived in Berkeley, California for over four decades while writing his books in Polish, his native tongue. Iceland’s great poet of the 20th century, Stephan G. Stephansson, lived in Canada most of his life but always wrote in Icelandic. These people remind me of what you’re going through: striving to do what comes natural and authentic in a situation very different from the place where you originally learned to be natural and authentic. The interesting fact of the matter is that this feeling of displacement could very well be the key to your success.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The sun shines brighter on my new home. The old place had resemblances to a cave and was surrounded by tall trees. My new space is surrounded by a wide sky and drinks in the solar radiance from dawn to dusk. As you might expect, my 15 plants need to drink a lot more than they used to. The watering ritual at the old house used to come once a week, but now it’s every other day. According to my reading of the astrological omens, a comparable shift is occurring in your rhythm, Libra. Metaphorically speaking, more heat and light are coming your way.

Free Will Astrology

Photo by peterjhanes

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
This is an excellent time to celebrate the pleasures of emptiness . . . to extol the virtues of the blank slate . . . to be open to endless possibilities but committed to none . . . to bask in the freedom of not having to be anything, anyone, or anywhere. Are you smart enough to need no motto to live by? Are you resourceful enough to rely on nothing but the raw truth of the present moment? If so, you will thrive in the coming days. Happy birthday to Dana Cooper, Sarah Rowe, Gemma Schlamp-Hickey and Todd Vere-Holloway.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
During the dialog about health care in the U.S., certain highly relevant facts are never discussed. For example, it’s ludicrous for right-wingers to fear that a government-run health system would freshly infect our capitalist system with the stain of socialism. The truth is, America has long had the biggest socialist enterprise in the world: its sprawling military establishment, which is completely paid for by taxpayer dollars and run by the government! Another unacknowledged fact is this: The single smartest strategy for financing universal health care (as well as dramatically improving the economy) would be to reduce military expenditures. Americans don’t seem to realize that their monstrously huge military empire is a case of supreme overkill: It girdles the globe in ways that are unprecedented in the history of civilization. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, to illustrate the way that a seemingly serious discussion can be thrown off course and rendered unproductive when it ignores critical information. Please make sure nothing like that happens in your personal sphere in the coming weeks.

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
In the coming weeks, your medicinal effect and your power to incite change will be peaking simultaneously. You may heal people by shaking their certainties or you may scare people as you motivate them to shed their lazy approaches. You could be a stringently benevolent force or a disruptive fixer of broken things. My only advice for you is to work hard to stay humble. The potency of your influence might tempt you to get full of yourself, and that would undermine the beauty of your impact.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
I’m embarrassed to confess that when I’m shopping for an herbal supplement I’ve never bought before, my choice is unduly influenced by how much I like the packaging. For example, I might opt for the brassy orange and white bottle with bold black lettering over the brand with the washed-out blue-green color scheme and delicate purple font. I hope you won’t fall victim to any version of my folly, Capricorn. It’s especially important that you make your decisions based on a piercing analysis of the inner contents, not a superficial survey of the outer display.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Study the following facts to derive oracular clues about your upcoming destiny. 1) Some bacteria are inimical to human beings, but others are friendly, like the creatures that inhabit your intestine and help you digest the food you eat. 2) There are snakes whose venom is poisonous in large doses but healing in small amounts. 3) The term “demon” is derived from the ancient Greek term “daimon,” which referred not to an evil supernatural being but to a benevolent guardian spirit that conferred blessings on a person.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
On the website “Yahoo! Answers,” readers pose questions that are answered by other readers who have expertise on the subject. In a recent entry, a young woman asked, “Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?” Of the 50+ replies, most are snarky and mean, ridiculing the asker of the question, and not a single one gives useful information. I encourage you to offer your own insight on the subject sometime soon. (Go to tinyurl.com/mdclt4.) You are now at the peak of your ability to act, think, feel, love, and dream like a mythical sea creature.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Jonathan Lee Riches is renowned for filing numerous lawsuits in U.S courts. Some of his targets are actual living people, like Martha Stewart, George W. Bush, and Steve Jobs. But he has also gone after defendants like Nostradamus, Che Guevara, the Eiffel Tower, the ex-planet Pluto, the Holy Grail, the Appalachian Trail, and the Garden of Eden. This would be a good time for you to draw inspiration from his example. I don’t mean that you should become a litigious fanatic, but rather that you should seek redress and vindication from those people, places, and things that have not had your highest interests in mind. This could take the form of a humorous message, a compassionate prank, or an odd gift. Remember, too, that old saying: Success is the best revenge.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
This would be an excellent time for you to learn how to brew your own beer (tinyurl.com/zteca) or build your own telescope (tinyurl.com/2yert5) or teach yourself how to operate a forklift (tinyurl.com/lgoyk5). Your ability to master practical new skills is at a peak, and your need to develop more self-reliance is more pressing than usual. Once you raise your confidence levels, you might even move on to more challenging tasks, like concocting your own home-made flu shot (tinyurl.com/kmchwx) or reconfiguring the way your brain works (tinyurl.com/lxhuap or tinyurl.com/ns5vhv).

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Novelist James Patterson has signed a deal with a publisher to churn out 17 new books between now and the end of 2012. (By comparison, it took me six years to write my first book, nine years to write my second, and five years for my third.) According to my reading of the astrological omens, you Geminis will have James Patterson-like levels of fecundity for at least the next four weeks. I suggest you employ that good mojo to create a masterpiece or two.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
As I gaze out the window of my home office, I see a vast wetland crossed by a creek that originates in the bay. At high tide, the creek is as wide as a river. At low tide, it’s as narrow as a village street. Sometimes it flows north vigorously, while at other times it surges south with equal force. Now and then it’s perfectly still. Its hues are a constantly mutating blend of grey, green, blue, and brown, and at sundown and sunrise they’re joined by tinges of pink, purple, and orange. As a Cancerian, I find this intimate spectacle to be both comforting and invigorating. It’s a reflection of my own ever-shifting moods, a reminder that I’m a watery creature whose fluidic changeability is natural and healthy. What I wish for you, my fellow Crab, is that in the coming week you will also surround yourself with prompts that help you to be at peace with who you really are.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
What exactly is a “wild goose chase,” anyway? Does it refer to a frenetic and futile hunt for an elusive prey that’s never caught? Or might it also mean the meandering pursuit of a tricky quarry that after many convoluted twists and turns results in success and generates a lot of educational fun along the way? Either definition could apply to your wild goose chase in the next three weeks, Leo. Which one will ultimately win out will probably depend on two things: 1. how well you detect the false leads you get; 2. how determined you are to be amused rather than frustrated by all the twists and turns.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Your time is up, Virgo. No further stalling will be allowed. We need your answer now: Will you or will you not take advantage of the messy but useful offer that is on the table? Don’t ask for an extension, because you ain’t getting one. Please take advantage of this chance to prove that you love yourself too much to get hoodwinked and abused by perfectionism. Be brave enough to declare your allegiance to the perspective articulated by the mathematician Henri Poincaré: “There are no solved problems. There are only more-or-less solved problems.”

Homework
Take a guess about what your closest ally most needs to learn in order to be happier. Testify by going to FreeWillAstrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”

Free Will Astrology

Photo by Adam Penney, from The Scope Flickr Pool

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
It’s Build Up Your Confidence by Any Means Possible Week—for Virgos only. During this holiday, you have an astrological mandate as well as a poetic license to pluck the easy victories. So go ahead and solve the kinds of riddles that are your specialty. Arrange to be in situations where your perspective is desperately needed. Put yourself in the presence of people who think you’re a gift to the human race, and subtly encourage your secret admirers to be less secretive. If you have any trophies or awards, make them more visible. There’s no shame in bragging this week, Virgo, but for best results do it with your best understated elegance. Happy birthday to Jeff Davis, Bryan Melanson, and Rhonda Barrett.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Ants may literally be crawling in your pants as you pull off a savvy coup or a brilliant stroke. An annoying pest may try to distract you at about the same time that movers and shakers are tuning in to your magnificence. But I don’t mean to imply that minor irritants will undermine your victories. I think you’re too unbeatable for that to happen. At worst, you’ll have a mild headache as you receive your reward or stumble slightly as you stride into the spotlight.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
What life will you be living at noon on September 1, 2014? Who will you be? How thoroughly will your dreams have come true? What kind of beauty and truth and love and justice will you be serving? Will you look back at the time between August 27 and September 21, 2009 and sigh, “If only I had initiated my Five Year Master Plan at that ripe astrological moment”? Or on September 1, 2014 will you instead be able to crow, “I can truly say that in these past five years I have become the president of my own life”?

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
“That which can be destroyed by the truth should be,” wrote author P. C. Hodgell. I wish there were a gentler way to articulate that wisdom, but I can’t think of one. Instead I’ll suggest a way to apply it so as to make the end result more graceful than shocking: Don’t pour out the whole truth all at once in one big dramatic gesture. Do it gradually and tenderly. As you do, keep in mind that when the truth has finally dismantled the thing that could not endure the truth, you may be able to use the debris as raw material to build something new that the truth will feel right at home in.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
What if a billion Chinese people jumped up into the air at the same exact moment? Would they create, at the moment they landed, a shockwave that would cause an earthquake on the opposite side of the world, in Chile and Argentina? No one knows. I’d like to propose a not unsimilar but more interesting experiment. What if every Capricorn who reads this horoscope reserves one minute at exactly 1 pm EDT on September 12, and during that time you all meditate intently on a single glowing thought, which is this: All of you Capricorns deserve an act of uncanny grace that will help free you from one of your most oppressive beliefs.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Some rare people, through heroic acts of will and the help of a really good imagination, manage to free themselves pretty thoroughly from the inertia of their past. This accomplishment is more possible for you right now than it has been in a long time. In fact, you could even overcome a negative legacy that made some of your ancestors crazy and sick. For maybe just the third time ever, you’re in a position to escape the sins of the fathers and the flaws of the mothers!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
If you build it, they will probably come. If you just pretend to build it, they may come anyway, and end up sticking around because of your charming attunement to life’s deeper rhythms. If, as you build it or pretend to build it, you act manic or send out mixed messages, they may be intrigued and attracted, but they definitely won’t come. So my advice, Pisces, is to suppress your mood swings as you at least start pretending to build the thing in earnest.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
I don’t think I’m being unduly optimistic when I speculate that you’re on the verge of achieving a ringing victory over your bad self. What makes me so confident that this development is in the works? Well, in recent weeks you have been dealing more forthrightly and intelligently with the lowest aspects of your character. You have also become more fully aware of the difference between your out-and-out unregenerate qualities and the unripe aspects of your character that may someday become very beautiful. There’s a second sign that you’re close to transforming one of the most negative things about you: You have almost figured out the truth about a murky curse that you internalized some time ago. When you finally identify it, you will know intuitively how to banish it forever.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
I expect that you’ll be a force of nature in the coming days, the human equivalent of a divine intervention. In fact, you might want to give fair warning to friends and loved ones who assume that you have always been and will always be steady, placid, and mild. Otherwise they may be unduly freaked out when your intelligence explodes like a double rainbow or when you start emoting like a waterfall. They might accuse you of “not being yourself” when your laughter turns volcanic or your decisions hit with the force of the aurora borealis. It’ll be interesting for you to notice which of your close cohorts responds most favorably to this outbreak of your elemental gifts.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
“Here’s what I did not do this summer,” begins the testimony of one of my Gemini readers, Beth Hylton. “Not once did I swing on a tire swing over the river, watching the pink shimmery reflection of myself in a wet suit on a tire swing. I did not take a day off work to sneak out alone to Jones Beach with a book and a beer in a ginger ale bottle. I did not eat outside at a red-checkered-tablecloth-and-too-much-cheese-on-the-pasta Italian restaurant, sucking back carafes of Gallo like Kool-Aid. I did not catch fireflies for the satisfaction of setting them free, and I did not nap in the noontime sun. Where are all the ‘I dids’?” I’m happy to inform Beth, as well as any of her fellow Geminis who might have been remiss in doing the kinds of activities she named, that the next three weeks will be a very favorable period to make up for lost time.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Murmurs and whispers will have more clout than clamors and shouts. A candle in the dark will provide more illumination than a bonfire at high noon. Short jaunts could transform everything permanently; long trips might only shift things slightly and temporarily. Forceful confrontations may lead to a muddle; feints and tricks and bluffs could spark crafty solutions. The “simple facts” will probably be tainted by lies of omission; the messy contradictions are likely to be eminently trustworthy.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
KFC is test-marketing a flamboyant new menu item at selected restaurants in the U.S. This remarkable delicacy is an exotic sandwich that consists of bacon, two servings of cheese, and special sauce, all held together not by bread but by two slabs of fried chicken. I nominate this spectacular creation to be your earthy metaphor of the week. In accordance with the astrological omens, I hope it inspires you to head out to the frontiers of extravagance in both your spiritual affairs and your romantic life. The coming days will be an ideal time to pray to both Christ and the Goddess while making love, for example, or to get sandwiched between two delicious devotees while meditating naked, or to perform a boisterous ritual to invoke emotional riches with the help of a genius of love.

Homework: What’s your most beautiful or powerful hidden quality? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.

Free Will Astrology

Photo by Peter Haynes.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
I was listening to a sports talk show on the radio. The host had recently discovered Twitter, and was pleased with how many fans he had already accumulated. But he was not at all happy with the words “Twitter” or “tweet.” Too effeminate, he said. Not macho enough for a he-man like himself to use comfortably. In fact, he promised that he would never again refer to his Twitter messages as “tweets,” but would hereafter call them “spurts.” Instead of “Twitter,” he would say “Twister.” I encourage you to draw inspiration from his example, Virgo. You’re in an astrological phase when you can and should reconfigure anything that doesn’t suit your needs or accommodate your spirit, whether it’s the language you use, the environments you hang out in, or the processes you’re working on. Happy birthday to Wesley Hodgson, Gillian Strong, and Jordan Young.

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Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Years ago, a TV sitcom called The Andy Griffith Show ran for seven seasons on CBS. Its star, Any Griffith, played a mild-mannered sheriff in a small town in North Carolina. His sidekick was Barney Fife, a bumbling deputy with a sweet disposition. Shortly after he left the show, Griffith had a dream in which he thrashed and pummeled his co-star. When he asked his psychiatrist about the meaning of this dream violence, the shrink speculated that he was trying to kill off his old image. I recommend that exact strategy to you now, Libra. Don’t actually wreak any real-life mayhem. Rather, see if you can have a dream or two in which you destroy a symbol of the life you’re ready to leave behind.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
What life will you be living at noon on September 1, 2014? Who will you be? How thoroughly will your dreams have come true? What kind of beauty and truth and love and justice will you be serving? Will you look back at the time between August 27 and September 21, 2009 and sigh, “If only I had initiated my Five Year Master Plan at that ripe astrological moment”? Or on September 1, 2014 will you instead be able to crow, “I can truly say that in these past five years I have become the president of my own life”?

Sagittarius (Nov 22 – December 21)
If at some future time you sell your life story to a filmmaker who makes it into a feature film, it may have a lot to do with adventures that kick into high gear in the coming weeks. The fun will start (I hope) when you decide not to merely lie back and be victimized by your signature pain any longer. This brave act will recalibrate the cosmic scales and shift the currents of destiny that flow through you. Soon you will be making progress in untangling a mystery that has eluded your insight for a long time. You will be able to uncover the guarded secrets of a source that has for some time been tweaking your personal power without your full awareness.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
In his book From Heaven to Earth: Spiritual Living in a Market-Oriented World, Aaron Zerah riffs on the Hebrew word “nabal.” It describes someone who’s so staunchly concentrated on practical concerns that he becomes impractical. Please don’t let this be your fate anytime soon, Capricorn. For the ultimate benefit of the bottom line, disregard the bottom line for a while. Fantasize like a teenage poet. Be as whimsical as a mystic clown. Be a sweet, fun-loving fool so you won’t turn into a sour, workaholic fool.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
A woman living in China’s Jilin province got married in a wedding gown with a train that was 1.4 miles long. Lin Rong’s dress was decorated with 9,999 red silk roses and took three months to sew. In the spirit of her record-breaking ritual, Aquarius I encourage you to be extravagant and imaginative as you celebrate a great union in the coming weeks. You have an astrological mandate to think big as you carry out a rite of passage that will lead to an upgrade in the role that collaboration and symbiosis play in your life.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Close your eyes and imagine you’re in a meadow as rain falls. Inhale the aroma of the earth as the ground is soaked. Dwell in the midst of that scent for a while, allowing it to permeate your organs and nerves. Feel its life-giving energy circulating through you. Give yourself to the memories it evokes. In my astrological opinion, experiences like this are what you need most in the coming week. Can you think of some others that would speak directly to your animal intelligence? It’s a perfect time to please and excite the part of you that is a soft, warm creature.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
What I wish for you this week is that you won’t be satisfied with mediocre truths; that you’ll be a fussy perfectionist focused on cutting out waste, fraud, and delusion; that you’ll be itchy to know more about the unacknowledged games that are being played. Frustration, I hope, will be your holy fuel. Unsweetened lemonade, I trust, will be your rejuvenating drink. These are blessings, Aries, not curses! I pray that you’ll pick one of your scabs until it bleeds so the healing process can start over—the right way this time.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
What have you always wanted to yell from the pinnacle of the hill in the distance? This is the week to go there and yell it. What is that safe way of getting high that you’ve always wanted to try but never had the time for before? This is the week to try it. What is the alluring phenomenon that is always going on just outside the reach of your ordinary awareness—the seductive pull you have always somehow resisted? This is the time to dive in and explore it. (Thanks to John Averill for his inspiration in composing this horoscope. His tweets are at www.twitter.com/wiremesa.)

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden because of an incident involving an apple, right? Wrong. Many biblical scholars suspect the fruit in question was either a fig, grape, or pomegranate. I mention this, Gemini, because I think you’d be wise to review your own personal myth of exile. It’s time to question the story you have been telling yourself about how your paradise got lost. Evidence you discover in the coming days just might suggest that everything you’ve believed is at least half-wrong—that your origins are different from what you imagine. And as for the forbidden fruit that supposedly led you astray: You may realize that it was actually a precious medicine.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
The coming week will be prime time to perform minor miracles without trying too hard. You’ll probably have maximum success if you refrain from hoping and worrying about achieving maximum success. The cosmic currents will be likely to bend and shape themselves to accommodate your deeper needs if you proceed on the assumption that they know, better than your little ego does, what’s best for you. To get yourself in the proper frame of mind to do challenging tasks without expending strenuous effort, you might want to check out this photo spread of people practicing drunk yoga: www.tinyurl.com/n5z533.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Are you familiar with the phenomenon known as a fire whirl? It happens on rare occasions when a fire produces a tornado-like vortex that rises up vertically, spinning madly. It’s beautiful to behold but is not something you ever want to be close to. I bring this to your attention in the hope that you will not let yourself turn into the human equivalent of a fire whirl in the coming week. You’re not yet close to being one, but there are signs you’re headed that way. With just a modicum of adjustment, you can ensure that you’ll be more like a blaze in a fireplace or a wild but controlled bonfire on a beach—not a fire whirl.

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Homework: Make up a story about an adventure you might go on someday. Imagine all the details. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com