Library Shmibrary

Elling Lien has a mild sunburn, but he’s fine really.

To the 1,200 delegates here for the Canadian Libraries Association convention, welcome to St. John’s!

I feel now, with you around, it’s okay to admit my addiction to libraries. I’ve spent my share of time drifting in a daze through the stacks, and poring over books or old newspapers. Most recently I’ve become hooked on the Centre for Newfoundland Studies collection, especially the clippings files on local bands, theatre, art, books, etc…

But libraries are in a crisis. In order to compete with the internet, some changes have to be made. I have listed a few small suggestions that could help libraries keep ahead of the game.

1.) Retro video games. Can’t go wrong.
2.) Emoticon masks.
3.) More loud heckling about grammar and spelling.
4.) Any book over 5 years old should be replaced with a blank copy stamped “404”.
5.) More LOLCATS.
6.) A “Videos of Famous People Doing Stupid Stuff” section right at the entrance.
7.) People wandering around trying to sell you penis enlargement pills.

The new owners of the 100-year-old downtown building are looking for folks interested in leasing the place. They are particularly keen on having arts organizations in there.

Hey! You could even run a secret society out of the place.

Contact Kathleen or Tom at (604) 325-1866 or admin@­

New to me, but not necessarily new-new-shiny-new: Google Maps has updated its satellite imagery for St. John’s! Now you can zoom in far enough to see waves in the harbour, cars on the road, the top of Cabot Tower, or the grow-op in your neighbour’s backyard.

Check it out.

“Why start a war with people expressing their views in a non-violent, creative way? Open a dialogue with them and reach a solution rather than creating ridiculous, hard-to-enforce bylaws which will have everyone going around in circles.”

—St. John’s resident Spencer Rose in a letter to the editor in The Telegram. He’s referring to the city’s decision to allocate $20,000 for a new anti-graffiti program which will award $500 to anyone who helps city officials catch those responsible.