To the summit

Photo by Kevin Coffey.

When you are looking for a challenge, you pick the biggest, meanest obstacle you can find and you focus on it. And you train. And you plan. And you plan and train some more.

This time, TA Loeffler is focusing on Everest.

Her attempt this March will be the second for the local educator and author. In 2005 an illness kept her grounded at Base Camp on the mountain, but now, in late March she and a team will be heading to Nepal to make another attempt at the summit.

It won’t be easy. The high altitude is a place where the body will no longer heal, where you have no appetite. The air is so thin it can take four to six breaths to power a single step. It’s cold, and dangerous.

Why would anyone put themselves through this, knowing how hard it will be?

Bryhanna Greenough caught up with Loeffler to ask about the expedition, her inspiration, and how she’s getting ready to climb the highest peak on the planet.

How did you get the idea to climb Everest?
I climbed Mount McKinley in 2005. It’s also known by its aboriginal name Denali. It’s the highest peak in North America, and I got it in my mind I wanted to climb it, so I trained and I climbed it in June of 2005. I was in that sort of quintessential midlife crisis space. So I finished that but realized I wasn’t finished looking, so I headed over to Nepal and biked from Lhasa to Kathmandu on a mountain bike. An amazing trip. I’d been in Tibet before, but in a Land Cruiser, and I wanted to actually be in the landscape so I thought I’d bike.

As part of that trip we visited the Mount Everest base camp, and it was there I had the sense I wanted to try to climb Mount Everest.

At that point I wasn’t scared about the climbing—as I should have been. I was scared about the fundraising. Contrary to my public teaching persona, I’m a very shy, phone-phobic human being. I had no idea how I was going to raise the $60,000 I needed to do the climb. But I took a picture of myself at base camp to remind myself when I got back that it was what I wanted to do.

Through various bake sales, T-shirt sales, and garage sales we came up with half of the money for the expedition. Mortgaged the house for the rest, then went off in 2007.

But it didn’t have the ending anybody really wanted.

I got sick two times on the expedition, and it wasn’t safe for me to keep climbing. So I came back and took a little while to just sit with it.

Then I got back with it at Ojos del Salado, the highest peak in Chile.The weather kept us from the top, but still, it got me going again. I kept working on the Seven Summits—the highest peaks on each of the seven continents.

Went to Kilimanjaro…

Pumori in Nepal… which is called “Daughter of Everest,” and it sits across the valley from Everest.

It’s easy to sit here now and say “yeah, I’m going to climb Mount Everest,” but when you’re actually in the same kind of high altitude environment—where you can hardly move; you’ve got the headache—that’s where I wanted to really see if I had it in me. Not only through the climbing phase again, but through the training and the fundraising again. It was there, climbing Pumori, which I climbed in honor of my mom, I said “yeah, okay, I got 12 or 16 more months in me to give to this thing.

And that’s when I decided.

That was fall of 2008.

How many of the Seven Summits have you climbed?
I’m five for seven now.

Last summer I went back to Elbrus, in Russia, after I went there in 2006 and got shut down by weather.
Suddenly I was at four for seven.

Then Marian and I went to Australia, which then made it five for seven.

Now, going back to Everest this year I would be six for seven. And if that comes to fruition, I’ll start looking for fundraising for Vinson, which is in Antarctica.

That must be a logistically tricky one.
The climbing is really straight forward, actually. Really cold, but the trick is the price tag is the same as Everest but it’s a mountain no one’s ever heard of. The flight to the ice is what makes that so expensive, because it’s a private company that charters a Hercules. It’s a very expensive proposition to get to the ice.

That’s how I got back to Everest. It was this sense that I wasn’t quite done, the mountain still had something to teach me, and I still had lots to learn. I wanted to go back and climb higher than I did before, and if it all comes together and I stand on top, that will be gravy, but to go back more confident, to go back stronger, to go back with all of the experiences I’ve had with climbing it the first time and other things I’ve done in the meantime to give myself the best shot of getting there… That’s all part of it.

Last time when you were on Everest, in 2007, what happened exactly?
I arrived at Base Camp with a pretty good case of bronchitis, which we know here, even at sea level, can be pretty hard to heal from. It required going on antibiotics, and I developed a high altitude wheeze. I was coughing so hard I was throwing up. It was a pretty rough way to get started. Eventually the docs were worried I could get what’s called ‘high altitude pulmonary edema’ which often comes with a respiratory infection. So they sent me down the hill a ways. Once you pass 4000 metres your body really stops healing.

So I went down, I rested, I got over the infection. I was doing pretty well, then I started throwing up and I was like “what’s going on?” You visit the medical folks and at first they said it’s altitude, but I didn’t think it was. I’d been up there for five or six weeks already.

By the time they actually said it was Giardia [an intestinal parasite], I had already lost 15-20 pounds. For a high altitude mountaineer that’s your reserve, that’s your resiliency. My strength had disappeared.

I went back down to try to heal to get strong enough to go back up, and I set myself a task, a peak at 5,200 metres. I said okay, here’s your test. Go climb that thing. I had to will every step, from the bottom of my being.

But I actually got myself to the summit of that thing, and I took a picture and that night, looking at it, I knew I didn’t look well. The next morning I threw up again and said to myself, “okay, you don’t have it. You don’t have the margin you need to be safe.”

I’ve done a lot of outreach with children, with schools, and I decided ahead of time it wouldn’t be good to scar an entire generation if I could help it. I was going in with conservative parameters. It wasn’t fair to my team or my sherpa to go up that high. You have to be at 100 per cent or at least as close to 100 percent as you can be.

I actually didn’t know how weak I was until I trekked out and got back to Kathmandu, where I had trouble climbing the stairs in my hotel.

The two illnesses so close together, close to eight weeks at altitude, I was levelled.

So, disappointing? Absolutely.

I had poured my heart, soul, everything, into it.

It was interesting though: When I first came back, one of my Buddhist mentors said, “I know you don’t want to hear this at the moment, but you may actually be of greater service having not summited than if you had.”

On reflection, I think she was actually very right. A decision I made fairly early on is I said to myself, you have to be as visible in the community if you have not summited as if you have summited. Because if you’re not, then those same kids you’ve been talking to get the idea there’s some shame in trying and ‘failing.’

I remember doing an interview with the CBC St. John’s Morning Show and Jeff Gilhooly asked me what was harder to recover from, the illnesses or the failed climb. I looked at him and said I don’t think of the climb as failed, I think of the climb as not climbing as high as I wanted to. The amount of energy and focus on the journey in the first place made it a success. Choosing to try to make that happen.

It’s important for us to risk disappointment. I think it can be tempting to stay where we are comfortable, to stay where we’re certain we can make something happen. But without the risk of disappointment, what good is it?

Did you know you would go back?
It took me two years to decide to go back.

As soon as I returned in 2007 people were asking me, “are you going back?” It would have been easy to say “yeah,” and it’d be easy to say “no,” but the real answer was I didn’t know.

I had a friend that always said, you have to do everything twice. The first time is often easier than the second because you don’t know what you’re getting into.

It was harder to choose to do Everest the second time than it was to choose the first.

You know what you’re in for.
I knew what I was in for in terms of the fundraising, the training, the everything. My life, beyond a certain amount of relationship maintenance, is training. That’s all I’m doing for the next three months. If it doesn’t help me climb Everest at this point, it’s out of my picture. You just have to ante up, which gets your hopes up.

But what I’m hoping for is a fun, safe, amazing experience. Ideally I will get to climb higher than I did before, but so many things need to come together to make that happen. You need health, weather, teammates to climb with… Sometimes I think it’s a miracle anyone gets to stand up there, just seeing how all these different things need to come together in the right combination.

It’s almost like you need the stars to align.

Going back the second time, you have the experience from the first time. Since then, last fall, I did a second Himalayan expedition, so some parts of it will be easier too. I know the lay of the land. I’m choosing to climb with the same operator as then, so the leadership of the team will be familiar to me. Four of my teammates will be the same, so that’s just a real gift. You’re not starting from scratch.

There are other women on the team this time, and it’s so rare for there to be. I’m a hockey player and hockey players are superstitious: I always put my left skate on first. Every time I’ve climbed one of the seven summits with another woman, I’ve summitted.

What’s the hardest thing about Everest?
It’s a long expedition, and it has a surprising amount of down time. Some expeditions, you have your three weeks… your four weeks…. You’re working hard just about every day. You can’t wait for a rest day and you can barely catch your breath. Everest, on the other hand, out of the two and a half months there are maybe 20 climbing days. There’s a lot of waiting for your body to acclimatize, and there’s waiting for the route to go in. So you can’t build up that same kind of momentum. You have to find peace in the relax. It’s a funny thing to do. You think about who gets themselves to Everest: You’ve got to have some amount of drive, some Type A in you to make the fundraising happen. You have to make room in your life so you can go away for that length of time, and you have to make yourself train hard.

So before you get there you’re going and going, and then you get to Nepal and you find there’s nowhere to go.

Actually, someone on our first climb couldn’t deal with the downtime and actually had to leave. I’ve gained some strategies. I have an iPod packed with podcasts and some movies and some e-books and all kinds of ways to do it. I’m actually very comfortable these days, sitting around. But the length of time just keeping yourself occupied living at altitude, it’s hard. Base Camp is at 5200 metres above sea level, which means there is half as much oxygen available to you as there is here in St. John’s. You can’t move very fast. You will yourself to eat. You do acclimatise, and you get better. Base Camp is this rocky, icy place. I call it gravel pit camping on steroids. You can’t even go for a nice walk there. If you’re going for a walk, it’s an ordeal. You’re living in this small, very intimate community and you can’t escape.

Everest is a strange place. When I was there last there was a bakery. Someone had carried up an oven. You could actually go to the bakery at Base Camp and by an apple turnover. And I did. It become a regular event, but it was a half hour walk over arduous terrain to get to the bakery. So I’d say it’s a long thing.

Another piece I might say about the difficulty is this: It’s a huge thing. It’s the world’s biggest mountain, it’s intensely dangerous and it’s a big deal. And that can magnify, and there can be an over-magnification of it it. A temptation to make it bigger than it really is. I’ve been trying to find the balance between giving it all of the respect needed, but on the other hand trying to keep it from getting too big in my mind. It’s big and it’s not that big.

Why do you want to do it?
I won’t go with Mallory [an English mountaineer] and say “because it’s there.”

I think it changes. I began this mountainous path because I was in a spot of confusion—midlife kind of stuff—and through that I discovered I could have impact on others. I would write my weekly blog and hear back from someone saying, “you know, my mom’s in the hospital and she read your blog and then she took extra steps at physio.”

I began to see by doing what I was doing and sharing it, that other people were taking on the obstacles in their lives. So that became quite a motivation.

So inspiring others is as strong a reason as doing it for yourself?
I climbed Denali (Mount McKinley) for me. It was only for me. But it was that that taught me to reach out and create this community of support around myself. Then it hit me: “Wow, if I’m taking on life and sharing it, then other people are taking on theirs.” That lent a middle piece to the story…

The tagline for this climb is “Mountain of Learning.” It’s about learning about myself, learning about my teammates, the people that train with me, and the stuff that people give back to me.

Our lives are like dropping pebbles on a pond, and the ripples go out. Most the time we don’t know where the ripples go, but sometimes the pond is small enough that ripples come back and we see them. It’s a privilege the get stuff back.

How are you preparing yourself? You mentioned pulling a tire up Signal Hill…
That one’s been getting a lot of attention lately. Basically I’m working with a 30 pound pack and a 45 pound tire—a tire plus a rim from my 1980 Chevy Corsica, known as the Oma-mobile, from my grandmother who gave it to me. The tire hangs about six feet behind me off the backpack. I start at the bottom of Temperance Street, by the Harbour Authority Building, and pull it up right from the harbour to the top of the hill.

So it’s dragging on the ground?
It’s dragging on the ground. You become very intimate with friction on different surfaces. The new sidewalk has more friction than asphalt, for instance.

I started training last year, before going up to Iqaluit for expedition training because you’re actually pulling sleds so its very sport specific. But because I’m training at sea level, at the moment the tire is the altitude. Until someone’s been at altitude, it’s hard to understand what it’s like to move yourself uphill without enough air. At 5000 metres, it’s one breath, one step. 6000 metres is two breaths, one step. 7000 metres is usually three. 8000 metres is four to six breaths just to take a step. How do you train for that at sea level? Also, at the school for Kinetics and Recreation at MUN we have a system called a hypoxicator which sucks oxygen from the air.

You wear a mask?
Yeah. I was walking at a 15 per cent grade on the treadmill with a pack on, with the mask on, as if I was at 3000 metres. That allows me to pre-acclimatise. I can create some extra red blood cells before I go. So that’s one piece of it. Then there’s that gall damned fatigue, which trains me as much mentally as it does physically. You can’t go fast. If you’re at altitude you instantly get dizzy, as if you have gotten up to fast. You have to develop this patience.

Pulling a tire up Signal Hill, everyone’s passing you and you’re just plodding. My goal is to be able to pull five hills before I go. I’m at one and a half so far, and two tomorrow. As the weeks go by, just inching it up so you can do five pulls up the hill in a row.

Well I hope you get a little ice!
Yes, once you get a little ice and snow the tire just slides. I have this great inner inclinometer—I know the slope profiles of every street between Wood Street and the top of the hill.

What does it feel like after you successfully climb a mountain?
People will often ask how long you get to spend up there. It depends on the mountain. I’ve spent as little as 10 minutes this summer on Elbrus. The weather was deteriorating, so we basically got up, it was miserable and we took a couple shots and we ran down. Sometimes 30 minutes, 40 minutes but there’s always this more hazardous portion waiting, so there is this momentary “wow, it all came together. I’m standing here where I can stand and go no higher.” It’s a huge thrill when it all comes together, because you can never assume it will.

Then there’s this recognition that I’m only halfway home. I’m truly successful on the mountain when I’m back home safe and the rest of the team is home safe. So that’s when the party can really happen.

What I find is true is it’s I think it’s magic to stand on any high point. I’ve climbed Signal Hill probably over 400 times now and I’m still excited every time I crest the hill, because I can’t go any higher. Or the Southside Hills. The hills I’m climbing are higher, for sure, and maybe the summit is more meaningful if it takes me six months to accomplish, versus 18 minutes or 32 minutes… But for me it’s pretty magical to go where you can’t go any higher.

Loeffler’s book More Than a Mountain: One Woman’s Everest is published by Creative Book Publishing. For more information click here.

St. John’s A to Z Green Guide

Hey, you like the environment, right? Sure, everybody does.

Well, here are a few tips, resources & bits of information for newcomers and residents on how to help save the planet from imminent destruction.

A handy guide by Richard Kelly.

lcohol
Check out the Newfoundland section in the liquor store for Auk Island and Rodrigues Wineries—both produce wines from local berries. I like the Strawberry Rhubarb wine. There are three microbreweries in St. John’s: Quidi Vidi, Storm (a bit harder to find, but worth the effort) and Yellowbelly (available only at the pub of the same name at 288 Water Street.)

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ike
Biking on the city’s hills isn’t as tough as people say, and you could use some more muscles anyways. The city’s new 20 year cycling plan promises bike lanes, signs, and bike racks on Metrobuses within the year. Don’t have a bike? If you’re a MUN student or employee, you might be able to score a bike from MUN BikeShare www.munbikeshare.wordpress.com. Once you have your bike you can ride around with friends at the Critical Mass—Last Friday of every month, Colonial building on Military Road. 6pm.

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ompost with worms
Even if you don’t have a back yard you can compost your food scraps by vermicomposting. Worms are fun to keep, they eat your garbage, and they don’t smell (I swear). Sometimes they escape, but that’s just a useful sign that they’re unhappy. You can get Red Wrigglers from Trouter’s Special Worm Farm in Bay Bulls (334-3531), or a friend with a worm bin can share them with you. MUN Botanical Garden has lots of information: www.tinyurl.com/me5myb

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ump trail
Want to see what happens to your plastic shopping bags? Take a walk on the East Coast Trail Sugar Loaf Path starting from Quidi Vidi Village and see the plastic forest. It’s an eye-opener. http://thescope.ca/nooks/the-plastic-forest/

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lectricity is expensive and dirty
Up to 25% of our electricity in a given year is produced by burning oil (with the rest coming from hydro-electric and some from two new wind farms). So unplug your appliances when you’re not using them (they keep drawing power), change your light bulbs, and buy LED christmas lights.

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reecycle
Looking for a wheel barrow? Want to give away some old VHS movies? Need furniture? St. John’s Freecycle is a community of over 3000 people who don’t like to see anything go to the landfill, so they offer it up for free. Sign up to see what’s up for grabs at groups.yahoo.com/group/stjohnsfreecycle

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rowing your own food rules
We produce less than 10 per cent of our food in Newfoundland. Anything you grow yourself hasn’t had to travel thousands of kilometres, and so it’s better for the environment. There’s still plenty of time to grown some greens in a container outside this fall, or if you want to start a farm in your living room, call Jonathon at Grow Crazy for hydroponic supplies at 726-GROW, or online at growcrazy.ca. (They’re moving from 55 Stamps Lane to 140 Campbell Avenue by September 15.) Also visit the Root Cellars Rock blog to share knowledge about local food: www.rootcellarsrock.ca.

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arvest wild eats
We’re in the middle of mushroom season, so why not get out and search for some chanterelles in Pippy Park? But, uh, make sure you know what you’re looking for. A great resource is a book called Common Mushrooms of Newfoundland and Labrador by Andrus Voitk. Walk around Mundy Pond or Signal Hill for blueberries, blackberries and saskatoon berries, to name a few.

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nsulate your home
If you’re living in downtown St. John’s, be prepared to be freakin’ cold this winter! Pick up a blow-dry-on plastic window insulation kit and, if you have a furnace, get a programmable thermostat.

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ava (fair trade)
See www.tinyurl.com/ftstjohns for a map to fair trade coffee in NL put together by MUN Engineers Without Borders. If enough people demand fair trade, it’ll be the only way for coffee companies to go.

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lean without harsh chemicals
Save money and the environment by making your own non-toxic cleaners and detergents. tinyurl.com/yodpym

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ocal is better
The average food travels 1500 to 2000 km, much of that by CO2-spewing truck, so buying things from closer to home just makes sense. Visit the Farmers’ Market for local veggies, meat, treats, and crafts. Celebrate Eat Atlantic Day (www.eatatlantic.ca) on September 4 by pledging to eat only foods produced in Atlantic Canada for that day. Keep food over the winter by bottling and freezing. www.foodsafety.psu.edu/canningguide.html

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eat is not helping you with your environmental footprint at all
Eat less meat—maybe even go vegetarian. You might get funny looks at a family dinner, but meat takes way more water, land, and energy than other sources of protein. Try going two meals a day without meat.

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LEN newsletter
The NL Environment Network is a non-advocacy organization that serves over 40 member groups across the province. They put out a weekly electrionic newsletter that will keep you up to date on local environmental issues: www.nlen.ca

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utdoors
Get outside. Not only does it feel good, but it also makes you think about the fragility of the place we’re living. The East Coast Trail starts in St. John’s in two directions. The Grand Concourse walking trail extends through St. John’s, Mount Pearl and Paradise. In the winter, Pippy Park even rents out snowshoes and cross country skis for its trails.

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aper sucks
Good on you for reading this online. For a complete how-to guide on how to kick the paper habit, check out Lifehacker’s Complete Guide to Going Paperless at www.tinyurl.com/nopcg9

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uit chucking dangerous stuff in the regular garbage
Batteries and CFLs contain mercury and shouldn’t go into the regular landfill. The city accepts hazardous waste every Saturday at Robin Hood bay from 8am to 4pm. Check the city website at www.stjohns.ca for a list of accepted items. Cell phones can finally be recycled too—find local drop off locations at www.recyclemycell.ca

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ecycling (curbside)
Um, well, there isn’t any in St. John’s. At least until next year, when recyclable containers and paper will start being collected. It’ll take one more year for them to start collecting organics. No joke. In the meantime, Atlantic Blue Recycling will pick up #1-#7 plastics, paper, glass and tin twice a month for about 20 bucks (726-2583 / www.atlanticbluerecycling.com)

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hare rides
MUN students and staff can use MUN Rideshare to schedule daily carpooling or one time cross-island trips (www.mun.ca/projectgreen/rideshare). If you’re not at MUN, try your office bulletin board or set up your own carpool Facebook group. If you’re going out of town, use buses and bay taxis (Check out our Bay-Taxi Quick Reference guide on page 11.)

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hink about our impact and what we can do
Read Climate Wars by Newfoundlander Gwynne Dyer and get scared to death of climate change (or listen to the podcast at www.gwynnedyer.com), then read Heat: How To Stop The World From Burning by George Monbiot and learn what we do to stop it.

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se stuff again
Stop taking grocery bags. Turn worthless junk mail and receipts into one-side-good notebooks. If you must buy, buy used… Value Village, Salvation Army, Previously Loved, and Sandy’s are the old favourites. Sure, a big spider did crawl out of a pair of chords I was holding at a thrift store once, but that could happen anywhere. Trendy people sell to each other with websites like www.kijiji.ca or www.thescope.ca/classifieds.

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olunteer
Help clean up the shoreline with the fabulous folks at Ocean Net (www.oceannet.ca), build and repair the East Coast Trail (www.eastcoasttrail.com), lend a hand at a local community garden through the Community Garden Alliance (cga.stjohns@gmail.com). There are plenty of organizations who need your help, just start looking.

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hat’s your water footprint?
Not only is your carbon footprint important, people are realizing that water is also important. And a lot of it is used to produce goods:  Visit www.tinyurl.com/ml75no and find out how much water your salad took to make. Conservation tip: catch extra water with buckets in the shower, then water you garden or flush the toilet with the grey water.

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Vote in the municipal election this September
City politics may seem boring, but it shouldn’t be. When you spot a campaigning politician, ask ‘em about a green issue: Should we have water meters? Do they support community gardens? What kind of (sub)urban development should we have? The list of candidates will be posted on September 1st, and check the next issue of The Scope for more information. In St. John’s, make sure you’re on the voter’s list at www.stjohns.ca.

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ell at your government officials
Tell your representatives to do something to help the environment. Newfoundland and Labrador is way behind the times, so maybe raising your voice this time is a good idea.

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ero time left
Tick, tock. www.kyotoplus.ca

Bay Taxi Quick Reference 2009

By Shawn Hayward. Illustration by Ricky King.

North-East Avalon

To get to Portugal Cove-St. Phillip’s, and therefore the Bell Island Ferry, you can take Conception Bay East Taxi (709-685-3121) or Cove Taxi (709-682-2386) The trip with either service will cost you about $20. Call ahead of time to book a spot and see how much baggage you can bring, because space depends on the number of passengers.

Southern Shore

If you’re looking to leave St. John’s for Ferryland and all points in between, you can hire Molloy’s Taxi (709-682-6679). It takes 25 bones to get to Trepassey, and less if you’re going somewhere along the way. Renews, for example, costs $17 to get to, more than worth it if its replica of Our Lady of Lourdes grotto performs miracles like the original in France. The taxi leaves St. John’s around 4:30 p.m. and will pick you up at your door, pilgrim.

Argentia ferry

Leaving the island via the Argentia ferry? Then consider Newhook’s Transportation (709-682-4877), because the driver’s sure to get you there in one piece, with 58 years experience! Jack Newhook has been taxiing since 1951, when rock n’ roll was the Devil’s music and Joseph Stalin still terrorized the former U.S.S.R. He’ll take you to Argentia for $30, leaving St. John’s at 8 a.m., though trips to meet the ferry may vary. Best call ahead of time to make sure.

Bonavista

Both March’s (709-747-225) and Shirran’s (1-877-468-7741) will take you from St. John’s to Bonavista and Clarenville for $40, seven days a week. Marsh’s leaves St. John’s around 1-2 p.m. Bonavista was the site of the Cabot’s landing in North America, at least if you don’t ask someone from Cape Breton.

Saint-Pierre and Miquelon

To get to St. Pierre and Miquelon, Foote’s Taxi (1-800-866-1181) will get you to Fortune, though not in time to catch the ferry. The bus leaves St. John’s at 2:30 p.m., arriving in Fortune at 6:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. If you’re willing to stay overnight in Fortune you spend the next day in France.

South Coast

Experiencing Newfoundland’s beautiful-yet-isolated south coast can be accomplished using R&E Transportation (709-753-7022), formerly Slaney’s Bus, which leaves St. John’s for Marystown seven days a week between 2:00-2:30 p.m. The trip to Marystown costs $45. If you just can’t leave your pet behind it’ll cost an extra $15 to take along, if it’s in a carrier.

Gros Morne

Gros Morne is awesome, as anyone who has been there will agree. If you want to be one of those people, Martin’s Taxi (709-453-2207) can help you out, if you can get to Corner Brook or Deer Lake that is. The bus leaves Corner Brook at 4:30 p.m., arriving in Trout River at 6 p.m., at a price of $18 per person.

St. John’s to Port-Aux-Basques

The old standby, DRL Coachlines, runs daily between Port au Basques and St. John’s. Check out www.drlgroup.com to find its complete schedule. Be nice to them, since the company has a near-monopoly on cross-province public transportation. Enjoy your trip!

The 25 Greatest Works of Art Ever Made in Newfoundland and Labrador

by Craig Francis Power

This year, the artist-run centre Eastern Edge Gallery is celebrating 25 years of fostering provocative, controversial, exciting art. Since this is the month they hold their biggest party of the year, the 24 Hour Art Marathon, to help celebrate we thought we’d bring an outspoken local art critic out of hiding and ask a provocative, controversial, exciting question: What are the most important works of art ever made in the province?

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Christopher Pratt

House in August (1969)

Often imitated, never duplicated. The shadow cast by Pratt’s long career as a visual artist is comparable to the looming presence of the Catholic church in Newfoundland. This is one in a series of paintings depicting out-port homes with blinds covering the windows; a none too subtle reference to death.

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Excerpt from Fall.

Marlene Creates

Water Flowing to the Sea… (2002)

Time, loss, landscape. Creates’ photo installation captures the ever changing and evolving character of the natural world as it relates to our own mortality, inverting the photographer’s relationship to subject by taking photos from the river’s point of view.

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Michael Flaherty

The Grey Islands (2009)

Living on the Grey Islands off the Northern Peninsula for three months while building an inside-out kiln for the purposes of making the islands into a piece of conceptual ceramic sculpture sounds pretty important in the face our province’s absurdly conservative aesthetic choices. See: www.thegreyislands.blogspot.com

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David Blackwood

Fire Down On The Labrador (1980)

Reprinted ad nauseum, Blackwood must be making a killing from this one image alone. So insufferably iconic, this work sets contemporary Newfoundland artists’ teeth on edge. How do you deal with a piece like this that so dominates our collective imagination? In any event, there’s no denying the importance of his output in developing our province’s visual culture. See: St. Michael’s Printshop.

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Image courtesy The Beothuk Interpretation Centre, Boyd’s Cove

Gerald Squires

Spirit of the Beothuck (2005)

Apparently the result of Squires’ mystic vision in the Newfoundland wilderness, this bronze sculpture of Shanadithit embodies our collective guilt over the Beothuck’s genocide, and our attempts to alleviate said guilt. I just wonder how First Nations people feel about it. Let’s ask Rebecca Bellmore.

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Don Wright

The Red Trench (198?)

A gigantic blood-covered gash of a vagina. What controversy? No. Couldn’t be. It hung in the Arts and Admin building at MUN for years. Whenever someone uses the word “cunt,” I see The Red Trench flash momentarily in my mind’s eye. That’s how you know someone’s made important work.

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Pam Hall’s On the Physiology of Female Reciprocity from New Readings in Female Anatomy (2000)

Pam Hall

Re-Writing the Body: Towards the Reading Room (2000 and ongoing)

This massive, ongoing collaborative piece is a collection of written accounts of women describing, sometimes in just a few lines, how they feel about their own bodies, their lives, their work under a patriarchal society. Touching, painful, angry, funny, and as important as fuck.

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Photo of the work by John Haney

Kym Greeley

Alone Together 2

The long lost love child of Chris Pratt and Andy Warhol, Greeley’s art manages to exist where the lineage of Newfoundland landscape painting and more contemporary practices intersect. What makes it work is how she reveals how our relationship to landscape is increasingly mediated by industrial and technological processes. Her paintings also look fucking sweet.

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Manfred Buchheit

Container Ship at the Dock (1978)

Is there anyone who’s captured downtown St. John’s more completely? The guy’s an image encyclopedia. Perhaps even moreso than his artwork itself, Buchheit’s influence as a mentor extends to a vast generation of Newfoundland artists—a loyal and passionate loose association of acolytes, students, and collaborators. This guy is the Godfather.

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A detail of the work

Barb Hunt

…and the rocks knew us

A huge, indigo silk-like backdrop studded with round white and grey beach rocks. Braille. The night sky. The ocean. A beautiful tension between the visual and the tactile. If you think NL’s textile work is limited to rug-hooking and sock darning, think again, cause this piece will dropkick your ass into next week.

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Mary Pratt

Silver Fish on Crimson Foil (1987)

While not exactly a feminist on par with Carolee Scheenmann, Pratt’s depictions of everyday domestic beauty are often tinged with something somehow a little menacing or brutal. Blood, gore, kitchen knives, dead animals. Oh yeah. She’s also responsible for our province’s obsession with photo-realist painting.

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Bill Rose

Fetish (1998)

Ah yes, thank you. My kind of man, is Mr. Rose. The wit, the scathing critique, the satire. Despite our famed national sense of humour, comedy in NL visual art is a truly fucking rare occurrence. We’re a ponderous, pretentious, contemplative boring lot yawning on and on about the SUBLIME. Thankfully, Bill Rose makes up for all that, poking holes in the innumerable myths that make up our culture.

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Will Gill

Cloud (2006)

I had a dream where Will Gill and I rode together on the back of a purple unicorn up a ramshackle ladder into a pink cloud where, dismounted from our trusty steed, we looked down upon the province of Newfoundland-Labrador, laid out below us in all its majesty. I looked at him, and said: “Man, thank God you’re here.” This piece was in that dream.

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Michael Massie

Come Sit and Have Some Tea (2005)

Massie’s skill with silver is inspiring a generation of artists (First Nations and otherwise) within this province and beyond. Combining traditional stories, imagery, and myth with clever art historical references and contemporary life, Massie has garnered a national reputation. He deserves it.

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Andrea Cooper

starring: part 2 (2002)

The attack of the 60-foot woman meets the NL landscape. First time I saw this, I kept trying to see up Cooper’s skirt. Does this make me a misogynist? Technologically impressive for its time, this piece laid the groundwork for Cooper’s continued interest in technology, sexuality, the absurd, and the female body. We miss you.

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Scott Waldon

Unsettled #01, Ireland’s Eye, Trinity Bay (1998)

I remember there being something of a shit storm when these photos hit the street. “Why, dis buddy ain’t even from Newfoundland!” “Dis here is our culture, and we don’t need no Yank takin’ pictures of it!” Etcetera. While entropy has a long history in the larger art world, this was the first time Newfoundlanders saw it so close to home, presented in such stark, devastating detail.

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Helen Gregory

Skeletal Study With Sea Bird Remains (2000)

National Gallery of Canada, anyone?

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Anne Meredith Barry

Island Light (1982)

Anything I say about this woman’s life, art, and influence upon NL visual art would be shit compared to what’s already been said by people far better than me. Let’s just say Thank You.

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Rae Perlin

Newfoundland Scene

See above.

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Video still from the Tenth Annual Drag Race

Mike Hickey

The Drag Race

Part performance art, part community engagement, part party, the Drag Race features the best (and worst) drag queens St. John’s has to offer in an annual, ridiculously funny, sometimes unnerving foot race in high heels. Lots of bumps, scrapes, blood, tears, laughs and victory.

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Photo by C. Darlington

Anne Troake

Pretty Big Dig (2003)

If you choreographed a bunch of back-hoes into a charming, hilarious dance routine, you also might have made this list. But you’re just some greaseball waster reading this on your smoke break, sitting on a milk crate outside the A&W on Kenmount Road. So don’t worry, Troake has already done it for you. Brilliant, funny and beautiful.

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Sacrament from Drink

Grant Boland

Drink (1997)

Not one piece, but an entire show at Christina Parker Gallery back in 1997. The baton was being passed. We all had this emerging wunderkind on our hands who painted like the Arc-angel Gabriel, and who was interested in booze. He was one of us.

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Photo by Steve Topping

Steve Topping

The Stage

A derelict, abandoned fishing stage where a select few are invited to hang out, talk art, drink, smoke, play cards and listen to country music. A kind of ongoing installation, laboratory, performance piece and haven, the line between art/life isn’t blurred, it’s eradicated. You don’t know about it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t one of the most important art events happening in the province.

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Luben Boykov

The Gate

When I die, I’d like Luben Boykov to install a bronze statue of me outside Eastern Edge Gallery, flipping both middle fingers up at the Narrows, Cabot Tower, and whatever lame ass tourists are buzzing around off the cruise ships, looking for faux-Folk Art trinkets to haul home to Belleville. Mmm. Heaven.

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To read lists by other prominent local artists and curators, click here. Feel free to write your own list in a comment.

New Music 2009

Hooooly cow.

It feels strange making an apology right off the bat, but it has to be said.

Compiling the list of artists to cover in our second annual New Music Issue, we planned to cover the same number of groups as last year—11.

Within a day of contributors and friends suggesting fresh bands to watch, our list exploded to more than 20 groups. Then there were more. And more.

Well, we’re sorry St. John’s, you got us. We can’t keep up with your awesome-band-spawning ability, and we feel bad we can’t cover all of the great new music that has sprung up in the city over the past year or so.

But isn’t it cool to know that what you’re looking at now is just scratching the surface?

Text and interviews by Kerri Breen, David Keating, Shawn Hayward, Patrick Canning, Adam Clarke, and Elling Lien.

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Antics

RAP
Show promoter Jason Winsor calls this Mount Pearl hip hop duo the “rookies of the year,” and Mike Simms and Curtis Hicks are indeed two local rappers who are leaving an impression on the small-but-growing local rap scene. And they’re only 16 years old.

Although mainstream rap didn’t hold Simms’ attention, after being introduced to artists like Cypress Hill and Immortal Technique, hip hop took hold of him in a big way.

“They really opened my mind and I learned to appreciate the art,” he says. That was back in grade nine.

Soon after, he was in his room recording acoustic guitar with rap lyrics over top. He and Hicks began writing what started as humourous verses in class… And things grew from there.

Simms says it was Adam Harding, of the local group Filthy Gentlemen who took the two under his wing and introduced them to people in the scene here.

They released an album in May, and a show with Prototype, 9th Atom, and Live and Direct is planned for August 1st at Loft 709. EL

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Aoke… Err… Lee Hanlon.

Aoke

CATCHY SYNTH POP
First there was nothing. Then there was New Wave. Then there was nothing again, and lovers of up-tempo, keyboard-driven rock music were broken-hearted. Or not.

Regardless, fellow synth-freaks need weep no longer, for Krista Power and Jud Haynes, the duo behind Mightypop, have dug out their keyboards for you. Joined by Mercy, The Sexton drummer Jamie March, The Gramercy Riffs’ Lee Hanlon on bass and synth-usiast Mark Bennett, Aoke (Ay-OH-kee) was formed specifically to appeal to your love of two things: dancing, and electronic bloops and bleeps.

For some, their first exposure to the group was at the recent Creature/Mark Bragg show at the Rockhouse a few weeks ago. Aoke was the opening act and won the crowd over with quirky, poppy instrumentals. It may have only been their second public performance ever, but the dancing crowd didn’t seem to mind.

While Haynes (who also played in Wintersleep, by the way) insists that Aoke have no plans to record and “probably never will” due to the varying availability of its members, one should not miss the chance to see them play. AC

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Photo by John Pike

Articuno

PROGRESSIVE MELODIC METAL

How did the group get together?
Paul, Damien, Ben, and I all grew up in Goose Bay together, the majority of us started playing music in high school. We’ve all been in separate bands and some together. Paul and I formed a cover band that eventually wanted to write our own stuff so after our current guitarist and bassist lost interest in the idea of writing we picked up Ben as a bassist and Paul switched from just vocals to guitar and Damien was already the other guitarist. We pretty much all decided to collaborate from our other bands to form a Megazord of Music. After a year of living in St. John’s we picked up Ryano as a bassist and Ben switched to just vocals.

What’s the music scene like up in Goose Bay?
The music scene was pretty booming when we were in high school, well as good as Goose Bay gets, there was a good 10 bands maybe. But since we’ve left there hasn’t been anything, the only shows that have happened there since we left were the ones we’ve had when we’ve been home for summer or xmas.

How would you describe your sound?
Ski-Dunks goin’ BRAAAP! YIN YIN YON! YIT YIT! WOMP!

Plans for the near future?
In the process of buying a van, been writing a lot of new material, slowly. Looking into getting some grants for recording and tours.

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At Ship’s End

FOLK ROCK
If you’re not sure whether you want to dance a jig to some Newfoundland music or pump your fist to some rock n’ roll At Ship’s End may be the band you want to see. The seven-piece group combines the fiddle and tin whistle with heavy beats to create a foot-stomping sound fans of either genre can enjoy.

The band has just begun playing live again after focusing on recording an EP which is now being mixed and mastered by Rick Hollett. Vocalist Dave Whitty says putting the music of seven musicians together was a complex task, with each song composed of up to 60 individual tracks.

“We all love Newfoundland, and love playing and making music, so we work hard at what we do, and try to put everything we have in to our music,” says Whitty. SH

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Awesome Magic

ENTHUSIASTIC SYNTH POP

When did Awesome Magic start?
We (Melissa Murray and Dan Galway) were originally trying to do the RPM challenge last time, but found ten songs too daunting for our sporadic song writing process. Benjy Kean heard some of the songs and asked if we would like to play Musique Non Stop, so we did that and have continued writing new material since.

Where does the name come from?
Unfortunately there is no clever backstory to the name. Destiny’s Child was taken and so we had to come up with an alternative.

What makes Awesome Magic stand out?
We are the only synth duo currently living in the Canadian Arctic. (They’re up there earning money to pay off their student loans.)

Plans for the near future?
Releasing a tape later this year, writing lots of new songs and coming back to the motherland to play shows and hang out.

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Bird and Bear

INDIE FOLK

When did Bird & Bear start?
Jill: We were set up by a mutual friend who thought we would get along, both romantically and musically. It was actually at a Mountains & The Trees show. By the third date Jon had already whipped out the drum kit and started backing up my songs.

What happens at a typical show?
Jon: There’s usually lots of family and friends in the audience – it’s a really warm and loving crowd. Also, the stage gets littered with instruments, including one rather unusual one…

What makes the group stand out in the local scene?
Jon: We bring a Hammond organ out to shows. I play it with my left hand while drumming with my right. Also, there’s a drum machine too! All that plus a piano accordion, banjo, and several guitars. We’ve built-up our arm muscles just carrying it all around. Haha.

Where does the name come from?
Jill: We were sitting around considering possible band names and Jon threw out the idea. I immediately liked the nature theme, and the fact that it’s similar to our other project. It’s also super cheesy, which is always a plus.

Plans for the near future?
Jon: We’ve got 3 songs already recorded and just received a MusicNL grant, which will allow us to record another 3. Put all those together and you’ve got…
Jill: …an album. We’re hoping to release something in the fall. Other than that, we’ll try to book some shows and continue to write, practice, and play all we can.
Jon: …and sleep.
Jill: Yes, Jon.
Jon: ZzzZzz…
Jill: *Sigh*

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Photo by Adam Penney

Colonel Craze and The Hunch

ROCK AND ROLL

“I don’t know what I had in my head that summer,” laughs Andrew Waterman. “But I said, ‘man, I’m going to start a pop rock group.’”

“I was so serious about it. I had written all these songs and we jammed on them. But then I think we jammed on a bunch of Nation of Ulysses songs after that and…”

“It turned out wicked,” says Devon Milley.

Wicked is right—in all senses of the word. Waterman soon began writing songs with the group in mind, and the high energy, catchy, and provocative Colonel Craze and the Hunch was born.

All three grew up in Central Newfoundland, and all three had performed together in some band or another over the years—recently here in St. Johns Kill Popoff and Bears on Wheels—but this particular combination, with Waterman as lead singer and guitar, Milley on bass, and Fudge on drums, was one of their most successful yet.

“It clicked more than almost any other jam I had before,” says drummer Matt Fudge. “I was amazed at the songs that Andrew brought too. I thought they were some of the best songs I’d ever heard.”

But they aren’t for everybody. Listening to some of the songs is a little like being transported into the brain of someone from the 1950s and hearing rock and roll for the first time. The music is wild. It’s dangerous. It’s aggressive.

In fact, “The Hunch” part of the name was inspired by a cult 50s rockabilly eccentric named Hasil “Haze” Adkins—a one-man-band often named one of the originators of psychobilly, a mixture of punk and rockabilly.

“He had a song where he said “Everybody’s doin the Hunch!” Waterman says. “But who’s doing the Hunch, man? Nobody’s doing the Hunch. It was just some anonymous dance. I really liked that idea, that within the music, everybody was doing the Hunch, but he was just some anonymous guy from the southern states.”

On stage, Waterman has a lot in common with Adkins: both are wild and fearless on stage. Both, too, generate their own fair share of controversy.

Colonel Craze, with outrageous, tongue-in-cheek song titles like “My Only Hope is a Wet Dream”, and—hold your breath—”Nice Day For Rape” are a nightmare for the politically correct and the easily disturbed.

“I’ve had people come up to me after shows and say, ‘Man, rape is not cool. Your band’s pretty good, but you should change the name of that song,’” Waterman says.

“As if I didn’t know! As if I actually walk around thinking, ‘man, it’s a nice day for rape.’ The song is supposed to be creepy.”

“But after someone tells him that he channels his anger back into the music,” laughs Fudge. “Then he writes a song like ‘Pregnancy’s a Joke.’”

Reptilian Lipstick—Colonel Craze and the Hunch’s full album—is expected to be released later in August. EL

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The Dardanelles

ENERGETIC TRAD
Without distortion pedals or irony, this five-piece group of 20-somethings have succeeded in forming a razor-sharp instrumental Newfoundland folk group.

“We were going to be a bluegrass band at first,” says Kate Bevan-Baker. “But that really wasn’t my thing, so we rounded up a few more musician friends of ours and played some tunes instead.”

“We try to use different accompaniments, textures, and arrangements of tunes,” says Kate Bevan-Baker, who plays fiddle and sings with the group. “We each bring different repertoire and styles to the group, so it’s great to have input from everyone and make out arrangements collectively.

They have just released a self-titled album, produced by Duane Andrews, and will be performing on the main stage at this year’s Folk Fest. EL

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Dead Language

NOT-DEPRESSING ROOTS FOLK
Emotional yet not depressing, composed entirely of strings but with a beat that makes you want to move, Dead Language is full of contradictions. The four-person group formed as a trio in the spring of 2008, and added a banjo player that summer to complete the ensemble.

Vocalist and violinist Katie Baggs says they’ve been getting good feedback from audiences ever since.

“Because a lot of the songs are lyrically driven, with simple melodies, it’s accessible,” she says. “People can relate to a lot of the songs. They relate them to their own emotions.”

Baggs describes the music of Dead Language as roots folk and mainly composed of original material. The group has record demos which appear on their Myspace page, and will be releasing an EP in the fall.

“The songs are really set in this mindset I have these days about hope, and how beautiful the world is,” she says. SH

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Photo by Paddy Barry

The Hot Faucets

ROCK
Andrew Rice (guitar/vocals) Brad Soper (guitar/vocals) Nicole Fiander (bass) Jeff Pardy (drums)

When did the band start?
The band started Jamming back in late January and by early February we were ready for our first show.

How did it all happen?
Both Andrew Rice and I have been writing songs togeather for about two years prior to the Faucets. Over all that time, we had more than enough for a full set of songs. By the time we decided to get it all in gear, it was our next duty to find the rest of the band. At the time, Andrew was playing in another band with Jeff Pardy. Soon after that, we picked up Nicole Fiander as our new bass player. After a couple of jams we kept it at that. We finally had a tidy little four-piece.

How would you describe your sound?
Me and Andrew always lovingly referred to it as “The Rock ‘n’ Roll Revival” . Although, as I mentioned before, we made sure our sound was diverse as possible. It’s way more fun to write all over the place to make it difficult for the listener to put a label on it. We had some songs that were bluesy. Some were raw. Some were sort of poppy. I always like to hear how the audience takes it all in. I’ve heard people label us as “classic rock”, “garage rock”, and even “grunge” at one point. There are definately some punk rock influences there too. I like to keep it breezy.

Where did the name come from?
We would have a vote at the end of every jam and we all had a bunch of ridiculious names we’d throw out there, hoping they’d eventually grow on us. I believe this started out as a conversation between Andrew and Jeff. It was a conversation about Farah Fawcett, for reasons unknown… “I don’t know man, back in the day, Farah Fawcett was pretty… Hey! I think we have something!”. Spelling it as “Faucet” was merely a fun play on words.

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Japan Batteries

CATCHY SYNTH POP
Up from the depths of Osaka Bay or, y’know, the harbour, come this mighty group of monsters that put your Gameras, Jet Jaguars and Mecha-Godzillas to shame. They are Japan Batteries, and, like the aforementioned giant monsters, they shall destroy your miniature cities and toy laser-cannon tanks until nothing is left but rubble, savagery and flame. Figuratively speaking, of course.

According to lead vocalist and guitarist Daryl Hopkins, the band started out with a “rambling conversation about ethical sourcing, technology, island mentalities, isolation, politics and the need for a new 9-volt battery for my wah-wah.”

Beer was apparently a heavy factor in this talk as well.

Japan Batteries is a mixture of the atmospheric and the ambient with more traditional rock influences. AC

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Matt Hornell & The Diamond Minds

POP FOLK
Matt Hornell takes off his shoes and takes the stage with a glass of what looks like Screech. Heads pointed together, he and bass player Patrick Byrne try to tune their instruments through the thick noise of a pretty much packed Ship Pub.

A little later, electric-acoustic guitar in hand, he says “We’re coming closer to you folks.”

Thing is, Hornell is intimate with his audience before this point. and throughout his performance he invites friends on stage to play with him.

Though his band’s current line up has only been performing for a month and a half or so, people are dancing and singing along to his catchy folk songs.

Seemingly out of nowhere, Hornell has established not only a fan base, but a community around his music.

He started off a solo artist, performing at open mics before recruiting his friends as back up musicians. The band includes Jon Bungay on guitar and mandolin and Josh Borden on drums, as well as Byrne and Hornell.

“I just started writing tunes and the guys kind of gave it legs,” Hornell explains on the stairs of Solomon’s Lane after his show. During our chat several people stop by to tell him how much they enjoyed his set.

The band, which he calls folk alternative, has just received funding from MusicNL and the Newfoundland and Labrador Arts Council to record an album.

Hornell says he writes about “your standard themes.”

One stand-out track is a story about his grandparents called “Khaki Dodgers.”

“That was an old love tale, my grandfather passed away and I never got to meet him. So I like to tell stories.” KB

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Photo by Melissa Caines

Nuke Neck

JAM
Members include Alex Pierson, Benjy Kean, Greg Ryan, Phill Pennell, Lee Hanlon, Mark Bennett, and Curtis Andrews. (So far)

When did Nuke Neck start?
I (Benjy Kean) stalked to a few of the guys back in April I think… but at that point it more talking about ideas rather than getting together and working on songs. We played our first show in march.

What happens at a typical show?
Our shows are not that typical… There are no formulated songs, we just start up with a beat or a groove and we go where it takes us. We don’t write songs or plan out our sets, it’s all improvised. Sometimes it works out really well, and other times we might clear the bar, depending on how tired or intoxicated we are. We played at the Rock House a while back and it went really really well, things flowed together nicely. Then on the opposite end of the spectrum we played our last show at CBTG’s and it was really hard for us to find our bearings… So I guess to make a long story short: we suck sometimes and we don’t suck sometimes.

Where does the name come from?
Robocop 2! The bad guys in the movie were all hooked on this drug called nuke. It was the most addictive drug in the world and they use to inject it into their necks to get high.

Plans for the near future?
Future plans are kinda up in the air really. It’s hard to say what we will be doing next. We are less about being a band and more about hanging out and having fun.

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Over The Top

FRIENDLY POP PUNK

The smell was greasy but the enthusiasm in the air was equally unmistakable. It was inside a certain downtown chip wagon that I spoke with the newly hatched pop punk band built on friendship and fun.

“Every generation has a different form of pop punk and some people might not like it but I guess this is the new, modern pop punk,” says guitarist Jason Mooney, huddled in the crowded chip wagon with his bandmates. “We might not sound like the pop punk bands we first listened to, but that’s definitely the inspiration.”

Over the Top’s take on pop punk is tight, technical, and more aggressive than the early 2000s bands that spurred the regrettable wearing of neckties and black nail-polish in high schools everywhere.

“We always bring different styles into it,” adds bassist and on-duty fry cook Chris Van Ouwerkerk (AKA Vano). “So I guess that’s what really…”

He trails off and all heads turn to the truck’s side window. A customer has come by in pursuit of some hot, golden fries, and the band starts giggling as drummer Paul Bradley, who also works there but is off at the moment, tries to serve him with a straight face.
The band, like its members, is not all grown up, but they wear it well. These musicians know how to play their instruments and they’re far more industrious than your average fun-loving, fresh-faced pop punk five-piece.

Over the Top, which also features Tim Reynolds on vocals and Adam O’Brien on guitar, has only been around since February.

But they’ve already released a downloadable EP, and they’re about to embark on their second tour as well as release a music video directed by Justin Oakey. The video is set at a rowdy house party.

They say it’s their friendship that has made them so productive, and that they see each other more often without their instruments than with.

“That’s what really made it, was that we were friends first,” says Vano. “Jason and I hung out every weekend getting hammered at The Breezeway before we ever even started playing music together.”

“For the most part I think we’ve all been a part of bands where you might start out as buds or whatever but it becomes almost like a business venture where you’re just co-workers and we want to make sure that this is going to be fun and that we’re friends before anything else,” Mooney adds.

Their upcoming tour, running from Aug 2-13 includes dates in the Maritimes as well as Ontario and Quebec.

They’re excited to stretch their wings as far as Toronto, but—wholly consistent with the philosophy of the band—they also needed an excuse to be in town for the Blink 182 show. KB

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Photo by Adam Penney

The Mudflowers

RAWK
Three girls from Bishop Falls pick up and leave their hometown the day after high school graduation with their first demo in hand. A year later, they’re getting recognized in the street and opening for bands that have spent years paying their dues playing the bar scene. Identifying exactly who The Mudflowers sound like is a challenge for fans—comparisons have run from Joy Division to Fleetwood Mac to Sonic Youth.

“We weren’t basing our sound on anything,” says lead singer and guitarist Megan McLaughlin. “We didn’t have a clue, so it was just the noise that we were making, the sound that we were making… That’s what we went with.”

Singer McLauglin, bassist Nicole Fiander and drummer Meghan Harnum are already working out the material that will compose the first Mudflowers album, possibly due out next year. DK

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Pelago

INDIE POP
“A warm mug of tea with a good splash of rum” is how the band Pelago describes their sound on their MySpace page. Pianos, shakers, trumpets, harmonicas, guitars and tambourines were all part of the mix in this year’s Scope RPM Challenge entry from Pelago band member Greg Hewlett. On stage, Pelago also draws on these instruments and styles to create music that’s part pop, part folk and part alternative. Hewlett says the influences and interests of the four band members (Hewlett, Rory Card, Joshua White and Rodney Russell) include 60s pop, classical, reggae and contemporary music.

The inspiration for the band’s name (pronounced PEL-a-go) comes from a little town in Italy that Hewlett passed on the train.

Along with co-songwriter Rodney Russell, Hewlett says he finds his latest songs are taking on a more narrative approach. “I’ve found myself taking a turn for that sort of writing of late,” he says. “The more songs I write, the more I find myself writing stories.” DK

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Quiet Elephant

INDIE POP
Once Paul Alexander and his brother David moved back to St. John’s after living in Toronto for five years, they wanted to start a band.

When Paul went into O’Brien’s Music to pick up a pack of six strings, he and an employee at the store, Sharleen Simmons, got to talking. As he found out, she plays keyboards, trumpet, accordion, and a boatload of other instruments, so asking her to get involved in the band was a no-brainer.

Sharleen’s brother Steven—a drummer—later moved to St. John’s from the west coast and joined in.

Throw in some catchy tunes, some creative arrangements, a few hand claps now and then, and you’ve got a band.

“Sometimes halfway through a song we’ll change it around, make it a little more lively and add a trumpet or accordion,” says David. “It really gets people’s attention.”

And the name?

It’s a mishearing of a song title by PEI band In-Flight Safety. Paul and David were speaking to them when they were here on tour.

“They mentioned they had a new song, ‘Big White Elephant’, and Paul had thought he said ‘Quiet Elephant,’” says David. Later when Paul and he were talking, he mentioned Quiet Elephant would be a good name for a band, and since it was a title for one of their songs it was too bad they couldn’t use it. David corrected him, and the name was theirs.

They have two shows coming up in August—one on the 8th at the Rose and Thistle and one on the 21st at CBTGs. EL

Burn This City & Population Control

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Photo by Jaime Michelin

The Reluctant Showmen

INDIE POP

Photo by Jaime Michelin
Left to Right: Georgie Newman (Vocalist-Guitarist), Joanne Morgan (Drummer/Vocalist), and Byron Gosse (Bassist/Vocalist)

Georgie: We are pretty humbled that everyone has been so supportive after only a month into our online existence and 4 gigs! There’s no mystery, just my lovely wife Joanne and I playing the honest music we can muster with our best friend Byron. We honestly feel more comfortable reflecting any limelight we get rather than bath in it. In fact we started our blog to highlight the much more talented bands we play with. Neither of us are too keen on the whole concept self promotion.

When did the band start?
January 2009

How did it all happen?
George and Joanne reconnected with their friend Byron and realized they had no choice but to start playing together.

How would you describe your sound?
To quote our friend Kip Bonnell, “Incredible rhythm and camaraderie, with lyrics that are both personal and politically charged” “The songs come at you like waves… very good waves!”

What makes the Reluctant Showmen stand out in the local scene?
Our infinitely deep understanding of each other musically, philosophically and personally. We all individually focus on only playing parts that will complement the other members.

Plans for the near future?
Continue making music together for as long as we can.

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Photo by Jon Whitten

Sometimes Houses Like to Sleep

METAL/HARDCORE

Responses by Christopher Scott (vocals).

How and when did the group get together?
Just a bunch of friends that started jamming in December of last year, eventually grew into a project and started playing a few live gigs. By May 2009 we had our first EP released [Canine]. Since then we have been a active group.

How would you describe your sound?
I’m not sure, what I usually tell people is to just listen to us. I’m always troubled with the idea of wine connoisseurs — they can choose a million different words to try and explain the wine to you but nothing compares to when you physically taste it yourself. The same idea applies to music.

What makes Houses stand out locally?
Well I guess the unique thing is that we are all from Marystown, which actually does have a scene of its own so we are very much a part of the Marystown scene as well as the St. John’s scene. We play shows both areas but will mainly be playing in St. John’s by the fall of this year.

Where’d the name come from?
We had just finished jamming and ended up all sleeping in the same house, I simply uttered the phrase, something really just random and on the top of my head. Everyone turned and looked at me and said “yea that’s it, that’s the band name!” I hated it honestly, but majority rules. The name has since grown on me though.

Plans for the near future?
We are looking at doing another EP or perhaps doing a split with another band either locally or abroad at least in the foreseeable future. So if you do like what you hear certainly be prepared for more. We will be playing live until winter, then it’s back into hiding and writing.

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Sorcerer

CLASSIC DOOM METAL
“We melt faces,” says Adam Foran about his band’s live show.

Face melting is the holy grail of any good metal band, so you know the guitarist and vocalist of Sorcerer is pretty confident of his band’s abilities.

Foran describes Sorcerer as a doom metal band in the style of Black Sabbath, with inspiration also coming from Kyuss and The Sword. The group began playing together a year ago, starting with some classic-metal covers, and eventually spawning some original material.
“We had been talking about it for a while, getting something heavy on the go,” says Foran. “It started as something fun to do and then we started writing our own stuff.”

Sorcerer plans to record some demos in a month, and Foran says they’d like to tour Atlantic Canada afterwards, including a visit to the island of St. Pierre.

Sorcerer will be melting faces at CBTG’s on Aug 1. SH

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Photo by Mark Bennett

Surgeon

DARK INSTRO-ROCK
An unapologetically indulgent guitar fetishist’s dream band. Utilizing the fretboard wizardry of guitarists Steve Cowan and Andrew Wicks with the bass maestro Josh Ward and drum pummeler Phil Maloney (who are also the rhythm section of Hey Rosetta!), they craft epic instrumental rock that hits somewhere between Jóhann Jóhannsson and the Mega Man theme music.

Formed out of the ashes of the short lived, but much-loved instro-rock band Narrows, Steve, Josh and Andrew decided to form Surgeon as “something in the same vein, being epic rock, mostly-instrumental, and driven by cool guitar hooks. What resulted was something a lot darker and heavier than Narrows had been, with song structures fueled by hooky grooves, lengthy buildups, drastic tempo changes, and usually a massive climax somewhere in the song.” says lead guitarist Steve Cowan. Even without much of an Internet presence (they don’t even have a Myspace yet, Holy Moly!) Surgeon have been attracting large crowds to their shows and turning heads all over the place.

Surgeon are currently halfway through recording their debut album That they promise will be “8 tracks of heavy, danceable, guitar-driven prog-rock with a lot of twists and epic journeys.” PC

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Photo by Jerrica Joy

The Troubletones

SUMMER-LOVIN’ DOO-PUNK

“Our first shows were in the summer,” says guitarist Andrew Wickens. “It’s a frenzy. A summer frenzy. It’s gets all sweaty and stuff, playing some of these bars downtown, packed in there.”

“Summertime is when everyone comes out, girls are wearing skirts… see where I’m going with this? It’s got a 1950s feel to it… It’s sweaty, young love. Everyone’s falling in love,” says guitarist Andrew Wickens.

The Troubletones bill themselves as ‘doo-punk’—a cross between classic rock and roll sounds and guitar-riffed punk.

When asked why he describes it this way, Wickens says “I think it’s about 50 per cent wishful thinking, really… It’s what we aim for, what we hope to sound like. We really do have this 1950s-like doowop and rock and roll sound—what Phil Spector did with the ‘Wall of Sound’. And yeah, the punk part? I guess it’s kind of how we play. We play fast… no apologies.”

The Summer of 2009 is already on its way out, and when it goes, so go The Troubletones. At least for a while.

Through the fall, winter and spring, the four Mount Pearl natives—Wickens, Paul Kennedy, Matt Pope and Steve Piccott—go into hibernation mode to rehearse, write new tunes and record tracks. Aside from a potential gig in St. John’s at Christmas, the window for catching them live this year is rapidly closing.

The band’s summer-only show schedule is a choice that’s part practical and part philosophical.

During the rest of the year, drummer Paul Kennedy is away at Law school in New Brunswick.

“Actually, it’s not that bad,” says Wickens, “because in the downtime me and Steve write a bunch of songs, and by the time Paul gets back we’ve got another album done.”

Reactions from audiences stumbling into a Troubletones show are still unpredictable…

“I’ve seen some weird stares, actually,” says Wickens. “So maybe that’s kind of what it is-they’ve never heard something like us before and they don’t know what to think, maybe. We’ll have to get one of those comment boxes and people can leave their comments.”

Getting their sound in front of new audiences and pushing the band upward keeps the members focused through the rest of the year. The Troubletones are already looking ahead to next summer, with plans of putting a mini-tour together through the Atlantic provinces.
Playing a style of music that they all love is also a motivating factor for continuing on, says Wickens.

“I think it’s the melodies and it’s even watching those old videos of those 60s girl group like The Shirelles or The Supremes… Just watching people in the crowd, how they move… It’s certainly one of my favourite eras of music.” DK

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Weak Link

80s-INSPIRED HARDCORE
When drummer Robert Forward calls his band generic ‘80s hardcore, you get the feeling he means it endearingly.

“You could probably listen to it if you want to turn on any Dischord 7-inch pre-1983,” he says of Weak Link.

“Yeah,” says vocalist Michael Phillips, “With a little more break downs, but no metal.”

The band formed early this year from the ashes of Judge Dread, a band Forward was in with Phillips.

The band, which now consists of Phillips, Forward, David Butler, Dan McCarthy, and Luke Mumford, has had a bunch of line-up changes and a “secret” member who lives out of province (Mumford).

“We had like 42 drummers,” says Phillips.

The band has released a demo and a half and will be touring as far as Boston for three weeks in August. KB

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Leave us a comment to tell us who we missed.

How To Have The Best Freaking Newfoundland Summer Ever

We know you’re excited, but let’s take a deep breath. Think for a second. Summer on the Avalon barely lasts two months, so we have to spend this time wisely.

Lucky for you, we at The Scope are experts at both budgeting time and telling other people what to do, so we put our heads together and compiled this list of things you should do to make this your best Newfoundland summer ever. So get some friends together and give ‘er.

Illustrations by Bryan Melanson.

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GO FLY A KITE

We’re perpetually amazed by how few people fly kites here. I mean, there’s plenty of wind, there are plenty of open fields, what’s the hold up? If you think flying a kite is boring, you obviously haven’t tried it recently. Stunt kites are especially cool, because, well, you can make them do stunts. If you’re looking for a way to spice it up even more, you can shoot fireworks at the kite while it’s in the air or tie extra spools of string to it and see if you can fly it literally to the moon. Or to CBS. Or even further if you’re already in CBS. There are plenty of places you can buy kites. We know Travel Bug on Water Street had a whole catalogue at one time.

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GO SEA KAYAKING

If you’re thinking of the kayaking you see on videos where people are rolling and shooting down rivers, you’re thinking of whitewater kayaking, which, in our opinion, has pretty much nothing to do with sea kayaking. There’s nothing like sea kayaking on a calm day. Gliding over the water, creeping around the rocky shoreline, you get the very strong feeling that nature is all around you—because, duh, it always is. Stan Cook is the local go-to guy for sea kayaking, and his crew has daily coastal tours ranging from two and a half hours to full day trips. Check www.wildnfld.ca

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CALL A PAYPHONE ACROSS TOWN

The next rainy day you are bored and have no one to talk to, remember, although most payphones don’t accept incoming calls, some do. At least according to www.­­payphone-project.com. There are a bunch listed from Newfoundland on the website, including a phone at the Esso on Torbay Road (576-0168), and one in the Village Mall by Winners GoodLife Fitness (364-9921). The point of this isn’t to make a prank phone call, but to make a semi-random connection with someone halfway across the city, trying to extend the conversation as long as you can without being creepy. Good luck!

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EAT A PUFFIN

Attention tourists: It’s our provincial bird, and it’s delicious. It’s not usually on the menu, but if you ask, many local restaurants will serve you up a helping of puffin and chips.

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DRESS FOR SUMMER

Newfoundland doles out summer in brief spurts, interspersed with blasts of fog, wind, and occasional freezing rain. Wear what you like, but always bring layers. Layers, layers, layers. That’s all you need to know.

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BUY A STEAK AND A SIX-PACK AT HALLIDAY’S

‘Nuff said.

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WALK THE GRAND CONCOURSE AT NIGHT

It’s dark, it’s quiet, and on a warm summer night, there’s nothing quite like it. Whenever we hear the song “Summertime Clothes” by Animal Collective, we think of walking the Grand Concourse at night.

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WATCH THE SUNRISE FROM SIGNAL HILL

There’s something spectacular and magical about seeing the sun come up over the ocean. These days though the sun is rising at 5 am, so you may have to set your alarm clock.

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WATCH THE SUNSET

It sneaks up on you: first the sky’s blue, then it’s pink and orangey, and then it’s night. Any west-facing shore will do, like Topsail Beach, or anywhere in CBS really. Or anywhere on the eastern sides of Conception Bay, St. Mary’s Bay, Placentia Bay, yadda yadda. Or, if you’re in a pinch, the park benches in Bannerman Park also work well. You’ll need some blankets. And some (alcohol free) wine. And perhaps some cheese and a baguette. If you’re in Bannerman Park, all the punk teenagers crawl out of the shadows once the sun’s down, allowing you to reminisce about how much of a jerk you were when you were fifteen. It’s magic.

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THROW A MUSTACHE PARTY

No, this isn’t innuendo. We mean have a party and get people to wear fake mustaches. Things are always more fun with fake mustaches.

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WALK UP SIGNAL HILL TEN TIMES

Local adventurer and eccentric TA Loeffler has more energy than any battery we know of, and she’s definitely climbed more mountains than you. In fact, this year, she’s planning on climbing to the highest peaks on three continents. Soon she’ll be making an attempt at Russia’s Mount Elbrus—the highest mountain in Europe at 5,642 metres (18,510 ft). Before she leaves, to celebrate turning 44 on June 24th, she’ll be hiking up Signal Hill ten times. “It will take about five hours and I’m looking for folks to come join me for an ascent or two… or six,” she writes on her. “In lieu of gifts or cards, I’m asking for folks to wear sky blue that day and to consider making a donation to the Canadian Prostate Cancer Network.” She might even do it in her full blue lycra superhero outfit, weather depending.

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READ LISA MOORE’S ALLIGATOR

Although she has a new book out called February that’s most definitely worth reading, her 2005 novel Alligator is an essential read for anyone living though summer here. It perfectly captures the erratic, eccentric, energetic, insane feel of this city in summer, and there are even spanworms in there as a symbolic thread.

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RESCUE SOME OF THOSE SNAILS ON LONG’S HILL

On warm summer nights, hundreds of snails slither out to the sidewalk near the Kirk, going up Long’s Hill. We don’t know why they do it, but we always feel a little bad when we hear the crunching sound under our feet. Why doesn’t anyone think of the snails?

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TRASH YOUR CAR

Cars are so last century. The Newfoundland and Labrador Lung Association are hosting a campaign to take your crappy old vehicle—as long as it was made before 1995, has been registered and insured for the past six months, and is in running condition—and turn it into $300 cash. Cash! That’s kind of like magic, isn’t it?

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HANG OUT ON THE HOLDSWORTH COURT BALCONY

As much as tourists guides would like to tell you otherwise, George Street, with a few notable exceptions like the Rock House and The Fat Cat, and the occasional other bar, is not a good place to look for original music. It is the domain of “hits of the 90s” cover bands and bands playing “We’ll Rant and We’ll Roar.” Bands or musicians in town whose music lies outside the mainstream—or even just happens to write their own songs—probably first started gigging at either CBTG’s, Distortion, or Roxxy’s (now The Levee). Holdsworth Court remains one of the best places in town to see new and interesting bands, and it’s usually the cheapest place to see live music in town. The deck itself is arguably the most important part of the experience. The deck is the best socializing opportunity this town has for young music lovers and local freaks to meet up and shoot the shit or talk shit about other bands.

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GO SWIMMING WITH THE CAPELIN AT BEACHY COVE

They should be rolling by early July, and we imagine swimming with them would be exhilarating.

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GET A TEMPORARY TATTOO SUNBURN

Local musician Danny Keating had this happen to him a few years ago—he had a stick-on tattoo of a dragon on and got a sunburn. The tattoo peeled, but the tan mark didn’t.

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GO ON A STREAK

First, get some friends together. You’ll need a pair of running shoes and a hat with a brim, because this is a small town, and what works best is if you plan out a safe and private starting point and ending point. Make sure they aren’t too far from each other too, because you’re definitely going to be running and laughing, and you’ll be out of breath, and you don’t want to be running for more than six or seven minutes. And you definitely don’t want to be last in the group.

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CATCH A CAB AT 3AM

There are plenty of techniques for catching a cab when the bars start pouring people out their doors. Unfortunately, the advice is all over the place. Some people say to walk west towards Mount Pearl. Some guys recommend getting their girlfriends to do the hailing. Some people say walking up the hill towards the Basilica is the way to go. The best piece of advice we heard was to befriend a cab driver and get his cell number. Bingo.

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GROW YOUR OWN FOOD

Living in a city, even one as small as this, it’s easy to roll to a grocery store, crack open a freezer door, and chuck a bag of frozen green beans from China into your cart. Nothing wrong with China or green beans, but why the hell would you buy something like that when you can grow a couple of your own green beans? If you’re curious but don’t know where to start, get in touch with FEASt (Food Education Action St. John’s) at growing.local@gmail.com or 237-3417.

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GET AN ICE CREAM HEADACHE

Because really, it just isn’t summer without lightning bolts shooting through your brain and Turtle Cheesecake running down your hand. But maybe you’re not a fan and want to prevent ice cream headache? “Touch the roof of the mouth with the tongue, or eat very slowly,” says Lisa Ryan, frozen dairy ringleader at Moo Moo’s Dairy Bar.

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BUY A PIECE OF LOCAL ART

If you’re visiting the province, or even if you’re out walking around, it’s tough to resist the urge to break out your camera and snapping a few off at the scenery. Look around you and you’ll notice hundreds of people around you doing the same thing. Odds are, however, that your landscape photos are going to suck real bad, and your ecstatic Newfoundland moment will be lost forever. The A1C area code in downtown St. John’s—it is rumoured—has the most professional artists than any other area code in Canada. Sure, there’s good art and bad art, but instead of snapping digital photos like a maniac, why not wander into a gallery (or restaurant) and buy a piece of art?

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EAT MUSHROOMS

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GO HITCHHIKING

Going hitchiking in Newfoundland is, potentially, the most fun you’ll have in your life. You’ll meet interesting people, and it may even reaffirm your faith in humanity. That said, depending on the weather, or if you’re stupid about it, it’s potentially the least fun you’ve ever had in your life too. We’re no experts, but we’ve been known to thumb our way around the island, and here’s what we learned: 1) Be clean. If you look like a weirdo, drivers will just as easily choose not to pick you up. 2) Spend a little time drawing a nice sign describing where you’re going. It lets them know you have it together. 3) Choose a place where cars can pull over safely. 4) Make sure you have enough food and water with you. 5) Carry your bed with you.

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BANG A GONG IN BANNERMAN PARK

(Or a drum, or a tambourine…) If you’ve ever been to Montreal in the summer, you probably know about the weekly gathering known as Tam-Tams at Parc Mont-Royal. Sure, it’s mostly dirty hippies, but it’s a cool, spontaneous gathering of human beings who have gotten together just because being around other people is interesting. Well, here in town, something similar has started up on Saturdays at 3pm (or Sunday, if rained out) called Jam-Jams. So you never know what kind of things the future has in store. We’re just about due for some medieval duct-tape sword fighting and zombie attackness. www.tinyurl.com/jamjamsNL

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RIDE A BIKE OUT OF THE CITY

Riding out of the city on your bike is a little like taking acid. Once you’ve done it, you’ll never look at things the same way ever again. Is the city really holding onto you so tightly? No! Hop on and GTFO. We’re in Newfoundland. Even in the heart of downtown St. John’s you only have to walk 10 minutes to reach an area where you can pick berries. Speaking of which…

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FIND A SECRET BLUEBERRY PATCH

Don’t pick the ones near telephone poles, because legend has it they are sprayed with defoliant. The blueberries don’t have to compete with the trees for sun, so they grow there. But the berries are full of sorrow.

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DEFEND YOUR SECRET BLUEBERRY PATCH

The trick is to tell no one. Especially not us.

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HAVE AN AUTHENTIC NEWFOUNDLAND EXPERIENCE

We could suggest Wal-Mart at 4 am—we were there for a late-night fan in the middle of last summer’s heat wave and watched a gnarly group of teenage boys get busted for shoplifting. But that’s probably not what you mean. I also hate to break it to you, but cod—the kind John Cabot claimed he could catch by throwing a basket overboard—is currently being considered for listing under the federal Species at Risk Act.

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HECKLE A SHAKESPEARE BY THE SEA PRODUCTION

Well, it’d be pretty rude, but if you have to do it, at least do it right:
“Thou dost talk nothing to me!” “Fie, what a spendthrift is he of his tongue!” (from The Tempest) or “She speaks, yet she says nothing.” “Thou sham’st the music of sweet news by playing it to me with so sour a face.” (from Romeo and Juliet)

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GO TO SAINT-PIERRE AND MIQUELON

Saint-Pierre and Miquelon is right there. It’s France. You know, the France with the wine, bread, mopeds and cobblestone streets? It’s down there. They speak French there, and they’re not joking. It’s no historical reenactment. Unfortunatley, you do need a passport to get there, but knowing that as of June 1 everyone visiting the US will need a passport too makes it a little better. Saint-Pierre is Newfoundland’s own little parallel universe.

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CLIMB UP A CLIFF

Newfoundland is made of rock, so it’s no surprise people who go rock climbing here say it’s awesome. In order to go without a guide, you’ll need a month or so of learning the basics and practicing indoors, says Leo Van Ulden, director of Wallnuts Climbing Centre, and he can get you started for as low as 34 bucks. He first tried it himself during the summer of grade 9. “I was on holiday to see family in BC during the summer of grade 9. One of my older brothers took me climbing outside in a place called Squamish,” he says. “I was hooked the first time I had a harness on.”

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GET EATEN BY A HUMPBACK WHALE

If you think watching a whale is cool, just think how awesome it would be to be ingested by one of those sons of bitches! Unfortunately, it ranks up there with pigs learning to fly, since, A) humpbacks have no teeth, B) they can’t swallow anything bigger than your fist, and C) they’re peaceful, zen-like buddha creatures. Actually, scrap C. They’re likely only as smart as your smart dog, and have been known in rare circumstances to harm human beings when they feel threatened. They are wild animals, after all.

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GO TO BELL ISLAND

Ride your bike on the ferry, walk up that steep hill, roll around for a few hours, then circle back and have some fish and chips and a beer at Dick’s. Then hop back on the ferry.

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VOLUNTEER FOR A FESTIVAL

Being a volunteer driver for the Magnetic North Festival was how Scope contributor Sarah Smellie was introduced to the city. She met tons of people, went to some kicking parties and learned the general layout of the city. And a few months later she got a phone call from a friend in the Yukon saying that an actress staying at her hotel told a hilarious story about being in St. John’s for the festival and getting a ride from a “fresh-off-the-boat redhead who screamed her way through Rawlin’s Cross.”

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RESCUE SOMEONE WHO HAS FALLEN IN THE HARBOUR

We were curious: since we’ve been pumping raw sewage into the harbour for, like, ever, is there a set number of immunizations for someone who falls into the water? If there is, Dr. Jim Hutchinson at the MUN Faculty of Medicine doesn’t know about it. “Most people who come in contact with that kind of material don’t get sick, so it’s not like it’s a giant risk for horrible things. However, people would obviously find it gross,” he says. “But coming in contact with stuff that has human excrement or animal excrement in it doesn’t in and of itself constitute a giant risk.” If you’ve ever fallen into a manure pile on a farm, you probably know what he’s talking about. Although coming into contact with harbour water wouldn’t be doing your immune system any favours, the vast majority of the population is immunized against serious infectious diseases so there wouldn’t be any serious infectious diseases hanging out in their poop. Rescue away! (Or maybe try a rope first.)

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AUDITION TO BE EXTRA ON THE REPUBLIC OF DOYLE

You too could be Dead Body #4 or Sad Man with Ladle! CBC-TV’s dramedy The Republic of Doyle is one of the biggest budget television series ever produced in Canada, according to the self-congratulatory press release from the provincial government, and it is indeed a pretty huge deal for the local film and television industry. Why not try to get in on the action? The Film Development Corporation is putting together some workshops for people interested in auditioning on June 21. We don’t have a lot of details, but you should get in touch with maggie.keiley@me.com if you’re curious.

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DANCE LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING

We contacted Stacey Tuttle, voted 2008’s Best Fan in our annual Best of St. John’s Readers’ Poll, to ask her how she manages to get up and dance when no one else is dancing. “It gets the party started,” she says. “It endears the band to you, other people feel less self conscious about dancing, and next thing you know, everyone’s having a time. Forget how ridiculous you look, and flail to your heart’s content. Nine chances out of ten, no one gives a fuck, and if they do, they likely look at least as ridiculous as yourself. If you paid $5 or $10, you might as well get the most out of it, and you’re going to have way more fun dancing up front than standing around.”

You probably have plenty of other suggestions, so crank that laptop and leave a comment below. What do you like to do here in the summer?

Things come together

Photo by Adam Penney

David Keating speaks with Mick Davis of The Novaks.

They’re better, tighter, slightly more business-savvy and eager to get out on the road, says lead singer Mick Davis about his band The Novaks. Four years after their first, self-titled CD, Davis—along with bass player Mark Neary and drummer Elliot Dicks—are ready to put a push on for their second album, on store shelves as of May 26th.

So why label the new recording Things Fall Apart?

“I could say stretch it and say, ‘Oh it’s about this’—it’s about Chuck [Tucker] leaving the band, it’s about us leaving our old management or switching companies, or, you know, having four years between the records, but none of that is true,” says Davis. “It’s just a bad-ass title.”

Davis, the primary writer for the group, says the inspiration for the title came from the 1958 post-colonial novel of the same name by Nigerian writer Chinua Achebe.

While things may not be falling apart for the Novaks, there have certainly been changes. Most noticeably, the band is now a trio instead of a quartet. Guitarist Chuck Tucker made the decision to leave the group just ahead of the band going into the studio.

“He just took the other road, that’s all. Which all of us have thought about,” says Mick. He says the split was amicable and that Tucker and Davis—friends and bandmates since high school in Wesleyville—are still close.

The departure of Tucker did lead to some serious soul-searching by the remaining members however.

Says Davis, “When he left, it kicked us in the ass. You know, ‘What are we going to do now? How are going to make this sound?’ So the amps got bigger, we had to rehearse for the first time… And it certainly worked, just because it put some work ethic into us to figure it out. And then, when we made the record, we designed it around being a trio—so when we make a record and when people go to the show, they don’t go, ‘Well, where’s all the shit that was on the record?’

Recorded over tens days in Halifax, Things Fall Apart benefited from the arranging and producing advice of Gordie Johnson of Big Sugar, as well as performances by Ian McLagan of The Faces on keys. Davis describes the sound of the ‘live off the floor’ recording as honest rock and roll that’s as close to a live Novaks performance as you can get—without the screaming audience.

With all the writing duties, touring demands, studio sessions, rehearsals and after-show parties that come with the rock and roll lifestyle, Davis says the thrill of performing in front of an audience is still the best part.

“It’s the people. That hasn’t changed since you were ten, jumping up and down on your bed with a guitar, wishing you were Paul Stanley or whatever… That’s the rush. It’s a weird life because it’s so depressing after that. It’s such a high. You play and then the next day you feel like shit, much like if you go on a bender.”

Davis may very well get to meet his childhood heroes when The Novaks share a bill with Kiss in Halifax on July 18th. Other gigs on the upcoming tour include a South by Southwest industry showcase show in Toronto at the Horseshoe (with Ian Blurton of C’Mon’s re-formed band Change of Heart). A video shoot for the song “There Goes the Night” is also planned for when the band lands in Ontario.

From the outside, The Novaks seem to be living the rock and roll dream. But now in his early 30s and having spent 12 years as a full-time musician, Davis says he and his bandmates are ready to see a little more payoff for their efforts.

“It fun and you get to have a party every night. You get to play every night. But it’s fucking murder too because you have a blast then you come home and you’re scrambling to pay the rent. So all we want is that step up, just have this record do that much better so that we don’t have to worry about doing anything else. So that we could just be Novaks.”

The St. John’s release for Things Fall Apart happens June 12th at The Rock House. For more tour dates and info, visit the Novaks on their myspace site ot at thenovaks.ca. Things Fall Apart is in stores now.

Comics Contest 2009

Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it American Idol? So You Think You Can Dance? RuPaul’s Drag Race? No! It’s The Scope’s second annual…

You know, this judging thing doesn’t get any easier.

It’s the second year we’ve held a comic contest, and it’s the second year we’ve had a heck of a difficult time deciding what comics to include on our comics page. We received almost 30 entries from Newfoundland and Labrador artists this year—each one with its own merits. Even the ones drawn in crayon on the back of Tim Horton’s placemats.

So it was tough.

Like with all good reality TV, fresh blood came head to head with the more experienced participants. There were dramatic upsets. Tears. Elation. Dramatic theme music. Harsh judges. In-fighting. Gun battles. Zombies. Rats. Sharks. Rock stars. Drugs. And, of course, poop jokes.

So, without further ado, here are the winners of the comic contest.

THANK YOU TO OUR JUDGES
Emilie Bourque • Erin McKee • Ricky King (From Earth—retired) • Sydney Blackmore • Lesley Marie Reade • Kerri Breen • Adam Clarke • Wallace Ryan • Rachel Harding • Mark Callanan • Rodney Wall • Elling Lien • Mark Bennett • Andreae Prozesky • Susan Kent • Bryhanna Greenough

Some thank yous and farewells…

Some of last years’ winners who will not be continuing on the comics page this year.

Some honourable mentions

So close!

First runner-up

($100 prize)
First Aid Comics by Matt Grant and Jessica Butler.

Second runner-up

Boneified by Darren Whalen

($50 prize)

The big winners

Werebears and Only Children by Jennifer Barrett

It was Jennifer’s first year actually competing in the contest, but she’s been in The Scope more or less since the dawn of time. She stuck to her guns with the submitted strips, and it paid off. If it ain’t broke…

What is Werebears?
Werebears and Only Children is a crudely drawn gag comic strip featuring two nameless protagonists who may or may not care for each other. The boy is of the nerd persuasion, while the girl is more of a closet-nerd type.

Who are you?
I’m an artist and I make comics and paintings these days. My new favorite thing is going to comic conventions and trying to defeat my painful shyness by giving away minicomics and buttons. I also work as a screenprinter and I’m on the board of directors at St. Michael’s printshop. My favorite animals at the zoo are giraffes and beavers.

What’s your inspiration for this strip?
I was actually invited by The Scope a couple of years ago to contribute a comic to the Bottom Line and I began making odds and ends that were somewhat auto-biographical. Then the strip took on a life of its own, much to my delight and relief. I just try to incorporate things that I like and think are funny and/or weird, like cooking or role-playing games.

Was there a moment in your history when you knew you wanted to draw comics?
I don’t have an exact moment, but I used to make up my own Garfield comics and I invented a character called The Big Apple, who was a fat dude in an apple suit that lived in New York City. And he had a dog and stuff. I always thought I’d like to have a comic strip in the newspapers.

What the judges said:
“I like that she can get so much life out of essentially a bunch of circles, four dots for eyes, and a couple of other slivers of line. Her dialogue feels like real conversations and her characters manage to be funny, sweet, and kinda mean all at the same time. It is one of the first sections I flip to in The Scope—sorry everyone else—ever since you started publishing.”

Everybody Cheer Up by Bryan Melanson

You probably know Bryan better by the name Errand Boy. He’s famous locally for producing ornate, emotionally-charged electronic music, but little did you know he’s also a sarcastic wit and can draw Lego people real good.

What is Everybody Cheer Up?
I’d explain it in really clear terms as a story about a ghost with a bowtie and a Lego man in boxer shorts, dealing with the constructs of my diseased mind.

Who are you?
My name is Bryan Melanson, I’m 25, I’ve been drawing my whole life but kind of got sidetracked making music as Errand Boy for a few years, until someone reminded me I could make money drawing for The Scope.

What’s your inspiration for this strip?
My inspiration has always been my stubbornness. If I get an idea that I want to do something and be good at it I’m more driven by the urge to get better than any kind of goal. So I’ve been reading a lot of webcomics to try to get a feel for punchlines and analyzing who would win if I arm-wrestled all of the web comic authors.

Was there a moment in your history when you knew you wanted to draw comics?
When I was a child, I can remember the satisfaction I felt the first time I understood coloring inside the lines when I was drawing a picture of the Ninja Turtles jumping off a building. I knew then that this day would come.

What the judges said:
“Everybody Cheer Up consistently had the best punchlines of all the entries this year. Really funny and full of nice, simple art and pop culture references.”

Ms. Quote by Tara Fleming

Tara has a drawing style full of nuance, and her comics are clever without relying heavily on gags. This strip has been endearing itself to readers ever since it appeared one year ago, and doesn’t show any signs of stopping.

What is Ms. Quote?
Ms. Quote is a comic about a sassy little woman with a sharp tongue and a penchant for using catchy quotes to underscore arguments with her sweet and very patient boyfriend. The idea is pretty straightforward; with the excess of one-liners, expressions and memorable quotes making for endless possible situations in which to place the two key characters.

Who are you?
I am a visual artist living and working in St. John’s. I love to read and have a habit of perusing insignificant (and sometimes newsworthy) items on the Internet while I sip my morning coffee. I do try to memorize certain quotes if they have particular significance to me, my favorite being J.R.R Tolkien’s, “not all those who wander are lost.” and I have been barraged with choice expressions on issues such as tardiness, propriety and insobriety (not really just threw that in cause’ it had a nice alliterative quality.) In addition to illustrating I also enjoy painting with watercolor and acrylic mediums and my favorite hobby is cooking.

What’s your inspiration for this strip?
Well it just so happens that I have found myself in a handful typical scenarios like the ones I illustrate in the comic, and my feelings on the matter of petty arguments are usually as follows: If you have nothing nice or productive to say don’t say anything, but if you can’t resist go with sarcasm. It really gets the other person’s dander up. I guess the strip is slightly autobiographical, to answer the question.

Was there a moment in your history when you knew you wanted to draw comics?
Well, this is the second year that The Scope is featuring Ms.Quote, I am very pleased to say, and my response the first time was something to the effect of having always enjoyed reading, writing and drawing it just seemed inevitable that I would try my hand at combining those skills in the typical format of a comic. I greatly enjoy reading certain comics and graphic novels and I regard the opportunity of creating and having this strip published as a springboard for further efforts. Plus it’s fun!

What the judges said:
“I’d like to see Ms. Quote in the Scope again because Tara has such a great drawing style. And her illustrations for DIY are always excellent too. Plus I really liked that she included sources for her sometimes-cryptic quotes underneath the strips. This is an exciting new development, a combination puzzle/comic of sorts. (Ms. Quote 2.0?)”

Comic Sans by Andrew Power

One look at Andrew Power’s Comic Sans and you see he’s a good visual storyteller and knows his way around image editing software. He’s also good with eyebrows.

What is Comic Sans?
It’s about a student attending graphic design/print production school. Loosely based on myself, he’s a bit of a jerk and a total design-snob with a temper. I try to use a combination of nerd and design-related humour, but often stray from this into much broader subjects. It’s really not funny, but the art is clean and vectory…

Who are you?
I’m an 18 year old graphic design student attending CNA while living in CBS. I’ve always been very passionate about art and have been pursuing it in any way possible since I was about 14. This has lead me to compete at Skills Canada the past few years where I have won national medals representing Newfoundland in graphic design. I also do some freelance design work.

What’s your inspiration for this strip?
The strip is mostly inspired by my life and being so involved in the graphic design community. I don’t really read a lot of comics so most of my style is influenced by cartoon shows. I like to take ideas from personal frustration with the media or internet memes. Watch out Susan Boyle.

Was there a moment in your history when you knew you wanted to draw comics?
I can’t recall an exact moment, but I know in the second grade I had this fascination with drawing comic strips of stick men being killed in various ways involving boulders. Maybe then.

What the judges said:
“Comic Sans is really polished. The illustrations are professional looking, each of the storylines are well-developed and the writing is sarcastic.”

DIY: Detox

Tara Fleming on the de to your tox.

Trikes and bikes

Photo by Brian James Williams.

Finally.

In less than one week, a St. John’s plan which has been three years in the making will be officially presented to council and subjected to a vote. St. John’s is the last major city in Canada to have a bike plan—an official document that helps the city make decisions about how they can get more citizens on bikes—and people have been itching for the city to put the plan in motion.

Compared to similar plans, it’s modest one—just $6 million dollars stretched out over 20 years. If the plan is approved, you’ll soon see a few more lines painted on the roads (cheap), a few more signs (cheap), and, eventually, a few more off-road trails throughout the city (expensive).

But bike plan or no bike plan, more and more people are pedaling towards a cycling-friendly city. Here are a handful of locals doing awesome things on their bikes.

Interviews by Sarah Smellie and Elling Lien.

—

Sarah Hillock is cycling across Europe and painting cows along the way.

Len Zedel carts his kids around in a bike trailer.

Dave Cox is unicycling across Canada.

Conrad Trela is a kid who rides his bike to school.

Cycling index

Commercial

Bill’s Cycle & Sport Shop
115 Long’s Hill
753-6410
For gear, repairs, bike rentals

Canary Cycles
294 Water Street
579-5972
For mountain, road and hybrid gear, repairs, cycling groups and tours, races, and copies of the city’s Cycling Plan.

Cychotic Bikes
7 LeMarchant Road
738-6222
Specializing in BMX and mountain bikes and gear, small selection of road and hybrid bikes, repairs, mountain bike rentals

Earle Industries
51 Old Pennywell Road
576-1951
Specializing in road, mountain, and hybrid bikes and repairs, Chariot bike trailers and strollers for kids

Freeride Mountain Sports
153 Water Street
722-7433
Specializing in mountain and hybrid bikes, gear and repairs

Turndown BMX
5 Waterford Bridge Road
237 0285
BMX bikes, parts, ramps

—

Organizations

Bicycle Newfoundland and
Labrador

http://www.bnl.nf.ca/

Facebook group: Bicycle Newfoundland and Labrador
Recreation advocacy, information about mountain and road biking in the province, organized rides and races, training programs and home of the Newfoundland and Labrador provincial cycling team.

MUN BikeShare
munbikeshare@gmail.com
Facebook group:
Rents bikes to MUN students, staff and faculty each semester for 20$, repair shop for BikeShare bikes, maintenance and cycle touring workshops, sustainable transportation advocacy. For a bike, go to the MUN University Centre May 11th and 12th from 11am to 2pm with MUN identification.

Newfoundland BMX Community

http://www.nlbmx.net/

Online discussions about BMX biking in the province and buying/selling bikes and parts

—

Events

Critical Mass
The last Friday of each month
cmsj@riseup.net
Facebook group: Critical Mass St. John’s
Group rides to promote biking, sustainable transportation, and raise awareness about safety issues. Their slogan says it all: “We aren’t blocking traffic, we are traffic!”

—

Places To Ride/Trail Resources

www.bikely.org
Online database of great road cycling routes around the world. Log in and add your own.

White Hills (mountain biking)
Just across from Quidi Vidi lake, the trails up there are clearly marked. Watch for hikers, as some parts intersect with the Sugarloaf Hiking Path.

Mundy Pond Skate Park (BMX riding)
A huge outdoor skate park at the corner of Blackler Avenue and Mundy Pond Road

Dirtworld

http://www.dirtworld.com/trails/­NewfoundlandMountainBiketrails.asp

A few local mountain biking trails

Geological Survey of Newfoundland and Labrador

http://www.nr.gov.nl.ca/mines&en/geosurvey/

Can supply detailed maps of almost anywhere—and any trail—in the province.

A few things to do with eggs

When I was a wee young nerdlet, my father was a part-time farmer. That is, he was a suit-wearing St. John’s executive by day, and the muck-slinging mastermind behind a Pouch Cove hobby farm by evening and weekend. Turkeys, ducks, geese, pheasants, and, for one season, rabbits, lived short but comfortable lives under my dad’s watchful eye. Come fall they were sent off to be butchered and dressed. He’d sell a few, keep the rest, and we’d be well fed through to next season.

And there were chickens. Some for eating—broilers and fryers, they’re called—and always a good number of laying hens. So there were plenty of eggs at Dad’s house. Brown, white, bright-yolked, sometimes double-yolked, dependable eggs, fresh as anything. Which is why, I suppose, when I sit and dream about the coastal subsistence farm to which I will one day retire, hens are the first animals I picture populating the landscape, scratching for bugs and roosting peacefully in the spacious coop I will have built for them entirely from reclaimed materials.

Yes, this is what I think about, almost all the time.

Hens are the ultimate value-added product on a small farm. Their feed is fairly cheap, they peck and pick and eat the slugs out of your veggie patch, and, if conditions are right, they lay at least one egg a day. Get yourself a half-dozen hens and you’ve got three and a half cartons of eggs a week, which means enough quiches and meringues and crème caramel for you to start your own catering business on the side. Add a rooster to the flock, and your hens make more chicks. Some of those grow up to lay eggs, some of them end up in the soup pot. The cycle of life goes on, and you get to observe it while dining on soufflés and breakfasting on omelets. A wise investment, since, unlike milking cows or shearing sheep, collecting eggs requires practically no effort. Every day is like Easter morning. Only without the chocolate. And with more chicken poop.

My nutritionist (who some of you dear readers might recognize as my mom), calls eggs “perfect food.” They’re inexpensive, full of protein, easy to prepare, and versatile. They’ve got folate, vitamin B12, and the antioxidant lutein. They’re also one of the few protein sources that St. John’s-dwellers can find locally. While there might not be much small-scale meat production on the Avalon, there are a good few family farms producing enough eggs to sell here and there. Ask around at the Farmers’ Market (opening up for the season on June 6 at the Lion’s Club Chalet, and hot damn am I excited), or at any roadside stand and you should be able to hone in on someone willing to part with fresh, happy eggs. But even if you’re strictly a supermarket shopper, you can find local eggs without too much trouble.

If you do buy your eggs at the grocery store, don’t be seduced by promises made about eggs high in Omega-3 fatty acids—I don’t care what the Omega-3 people say, chickens weren’t meant to be force-fed flax seeds and fish oil. That’s some kind of monstrous agricultural hazard in waiting, that is. And while I’m all for the idea of free-range and free-run chickens, some of the large egg producers have taken “free-range” and “free-run” to mean “locked out in the cold all day and all night,” or “free to walk around in a concrete pen under fluorescent lights” which isn’t really all that much better, if you ask me. Organic eggs are lovely, but if they come shipped from Ontario in plastic or polystyrene cartons, doesn’t that kind of run counter to the whole ethos of organic growing? Best to actually find yourself a farmer, get to know him or her, and ask about the sort of conditions his or her chickens live under. If they’re free to eat the odd grub and get out and stretch their wings now and again, you’ll notice it in the flavour of the eggs.

And lest you get all twitterpated about the cholesterol issue, let me just tell you this: freaking out about eggs and cholesterol is so 1980s. And not in a hip cool retro way. Recent studies all say that, for the average healthy person, there is no reason at all to limit egg consumption, and even people with high cholesterol levels can happily indulge in two eggs a week, which is a nice Sunday morning omelet, or two days’ worth of fried egg sandwiches, or a third of a flourless chocolate cake (well, maybe not that).

—

A few things to do with eggs

1. You’ve probably eaten soft-boiled eggs with toast soldiers, but try swapping out the toast for steamed asparagus – which will be in season here real soon.

2. If you’re in your early 30s or younger, you completely missed out on the era of the devilled egg. Learn from your elders: devilled eggs are awesome, and ever-so-slightly kitschy. Look up a recipe in any pre-1980s cookbook, or ask your nan.

3. Here’s one for barbecue season: boil some large new potatoes until perfectly soft. Half them and scoop out egg-sized recesses (save the extra cooked potato for, well, anything). Crack eggs into the hollowed-out potatoes and place the potato halves on the barbecue (make little tin-foil nests for them if they don’t look like they’ll stand up straight). Sprinkle with grated cheese, chopped cooked bacon, chives, whatever. Cover the barbecue and wait until eggs are cooked through (yolks should be runny). Eat at a picnic table or on a blanket on the lawn, with the sun low in the sky and a cold beverage in hand.

4. If you’ve never made your own mayonnaise, and if you don’t get weirded out by the thought of eating raw eggs, stay tuned for an upcoming Food Nerd Tutorial on mayonnaise makery. Trust me, it’ll be fun. And tasty. I promise.

Send your questions, comments, and suggestions for how to justify eating as much chocolate cake as possible to dreae@thescope.ca

Food for thought

Recent numbers from Statistics Canada say the cost of food has gone up significantly. Kerri Breen investigates the local impact.

Have you had to do a double take at the checkout lately?

Statistics Canada says it has gotten a lot more expensive to eat in this country. Food costs are seeing the most dramatic growth in 22 years.

Food prices rose 9.5 per cent during the 12 months leading up to March, and food costs have driven a 1.2 per cent increase in the consumer price index over the last year.

Though the local economy has been partially insulated from the recession thus far, the province hasn’t been spared from expanding grocery bills. Countless everyday items—from Corn Flakes to red onions—have become almost out of reach for some consumers.

But the rising cost of stocking the cupboards is affecting more than consumers.

General manager of the province’s Community Food Sharing Association Eg Walters says that the price of food has meant a decrease in donations from businesses and the public.

“When the price of food starts to creep up, people who donate find themselves in a bit of a pinch,” he says. “We’re seeing donations right across Canada from some major national companies are down.”

Walters says 28,000 to 29,000 people use the province’s food banks each month. The Food Sharing Association collects and distributes food to over 50 food banks across Newfoundland and Labrador.
“The demand in some areas is up,” he says, noting that the closure of the mill in Grand Falls, will strain food banks in central Newfoundland.

From March 2008 to March 2009, the price of fresh vegetables rose 26.5 per cent, fresh fruit was up 19.3 per cent, and meat and bakery products increased by almost 8 per cent each.

EThe once humble potato is leading the pack—or the grocery cart—in terms of its rapidly increasing cost. Across the country, potato prices have risen 45.5 per cent in the last year.

Statistics Canada says the increase is largely due to a reduction in potato supply because of poor harvests.

Judy Bennett, public relations co-ordinator for Coleman’s supermarkets, which operates 12 supermarkets across the island, says produce prices have always fluctuated due to weather, due to seasonality, demand, and increases and decreases in fuel costs.

Last year, she says, a 10-pound bag of russet potatoes retailed at $4.49. This year they are at $5.49, an increase of about 18 per cent.

“The contributing factor was the low yields that P.E.I. received from their crop last year,” Bennett says.
Coleman’s has not experienced the kind of drastic price increases that StatsCan has reported
Bennett says the chain has remained competitive despite increasing costs by making smart buying choices, generating savings that can then be passed on to customers.

inbox@thescope.ca

Illustration by Ricky King.

Sticks & stones

For some the word still cuts right to the bone. For others, it slides off the back. For even more, it has been chewed up and swallowed; used to help define who they are.

No one knows for sure where the word “Newfie” first came from, but it wasn’t truly until after April 1, 1949 that it started seriously taking root in our minds and the minds of other Canadians.

What is a Newfoundlander?

Newfoundlanders, what are we?

By the late 1960s, 20 years into Confederation, Newfie jokes had spread themselves thick across the mainland. For many Canadians, the word and the jokes became the first things to spring to mind about us and our island in the middle of the North Atlantic.

Flash forward to 2009—past the eventual collapse of the cod fishery, the outmigration of thousands to the mainland, and past years of economic reliance on the rest of the country—we have found ourselves in a position of relative, if tenuous, prosperity.

“Have” status. A “revolution between the ears.” “I don’t think the Newfie joke is there anymore,” our premier has said.

But even now we can’t honestly look at Newfoundland identity without also looking at that word. No matter how much some people try, there’s no scrubbing it away, burying it, or drowning it. Has it taken on new meaning? Is it less insulting than before?

What does it mean now?

It depends on who you ask.

Compiled and edited by Sarah Smellie, Elling Lien, and Bryhanna Greenough. Photos by Elling Lien.

—

FEATURES:
“Newfie”: Responses by e-mail from Bob Hallett, Kevin Blackmore, Brad Gushue, Ray Guy, Ryan Cleary, and more.

“Newfie”: Panel discussion with Ruth Lawrence, Tom Power, Bruce Johnson, Dan Banoub, and Neil Butler.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?:
What do you think of the word “Newfie”? When’s the last time you heard it? Speak your mind here.

RPM Challenge 2009: 70 new local albums

Photo by John “Rawkhard” Pike. Scroll down for names.

One day, 18 hours, 33 minutes.

That’s how long it would take you to listen to all the music recorded by Newfoundlanders and Labradorians as part of this year’s RPM Challenge.

Every February, The Scope dares people across the province to set aside their feelings of musical inadequacy, loosen up their schedules, and get down to writing and recording a full album of original music in the coldest month in our winter.

This year, 70 local bands came through, and there’s some really, really good stuff in there.

But that’s not the point. The RPM Challenge is not a contest. The only carrot dangling in front of these musicians was the thrill of having 35 minutes or ten tracks of their own fresh, original music set to disc. And they got the carrot.

Neither hard drive failure, nor creative blocks, nor horrible flu managed to keep these people from submitting their albums to us by the deadline. And if you’ve ever spent time at the finish line of the Tely Ten, you know some people strode over the line feeling pretty good, and some had to claw their way across.

But here at the end of March, that pain is long gone. Now we get to enjoy the fruits of their labour. On Saturday, March 28 we’re throwing a listening party where we’ll play at least one track from each of the artists who submitted.

We’ve got some listening to do.

GOING SOLO | THE SUPERFRIENDS! | CONCEPTS | THE ADDICTED | THE ZEN MASTERS |
GIT ER DONE
 

Come to the listening party! Saturday, March 28, from 8pm (sharp!) to 11pm at CBTGs and Roxxys. No cover. RPM CDs will be available for sale by the artists.

Against the odds

Video lottery terminal addiction is a serious issue in Canada, but despite making efforts to reduce harm caused by these machines, are cash-strapped governments feeling pressure to turn a blind eye to the negative effects? Billions of dollars in profit passes from gamblers directly to the government each year, and the amount is increasing consistently: from $1.7 billion in 1992 to $3.8 billion in 1997 to $5 billion in 2004. A good chunk of this money is coming from video lottery terminals (VLTs).

Playing the Machines, a documentary directed by local filmmaker Barbara Doran, takes a close look at the subject. Telling the story of three VLT addicts, including John Dunsworth, outspoken anti-VLT activist and Trailer Park Boys cast member. He has been campaigning for years to push for the elimination of VLTs, and to educate people about VLT problems and their true face.

They are sometimes called ‘killer machines’ or the ‘crack cocaine of gambling’, and Newfoundland, with the highest number of machines per capita in all of Canada, knows a thing or two about the negative effects of VLT addiction.

Dave Sullivan—Scope writer, actor, educator, and former member of the Dance Party of Newfoundland comedy troupe—is no stranger to the issue either. For five years, he was addicted to the machines. Doing the research and interviews for this piece brought back memories he had long thought buried forever.

Many people have a vision of a VLT player. They see somebody who is disadvantaged, un-educated, and unsuccessful.

That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Problem gamblers are in every IQ and tax bracket. From a lawyer on Duckworth Street, to a housewife on Carpasian Road, addiction doesn’t know status, gender, or genius. It only knows how to grab you.

And I ought to know.

The first time I played a Video Lotto Terminal was at the Shallow Bay Motel, in Cow Head, Newfoundland. It was July 1st, 1997. That summer I was working at the Gros Morne Theatre Festival, it was my first professional gig.

That night, we had just come in from the beach after watching the three or four Canada Day fireworks, with the faint sight of the northern lights dancing around in the background.

I stepped into the bar of the motel and a friend of mine hauled me up to a machine.

“Try this,” he said.

“Shag that by’, I’m going to play pool,” I said. But I hesitated.

Boy I really wish I had played that pool game now.

I elected to drop a dollar into the machine. I maxed the bet, and took out 120 dollars when it was all over. What followed was five years of absolute torture.

—

Those innocent-looking boxes of monetary hope stashed away at the dirty end of the bar or restaurant aren’t nearly as innocent as people first thought.

The machines first made their way into our lives in 1991, right around the same time as the collapse of the cod fishery, just our luck. The Atlantic Lottery Corporation, co-owned by the provincial governments of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Prince Edward Island and Newfoundland and Labrador, began distributing the machines to local bars and pubs without so much as a raised eyebrow. After all, what harm could come from a few video games in a pub?

Nearly twenty years later, VLTs and slot machines have exploded into a $13 billion industry in Canada, and a huge money-maker for the Atlantic provinces. In just the past ten years, our province’s annual revenue received from the Atlantic Lottery Corporation has doubled from $54 million to $108 million. Newfoundland and Labrador also has the distinction of having the most VLTs per capita in Canada.

The Canada Safety Council estimates there are close to 300 suicides in Canada each year by addicted gamblers — higher than any other form of addiction-related suicide.

Looking at the statistics is one thing, and hearing about the experience is another. Local director and producer Barbara Doran has set out to show people exactly how harmful these machines can be to individuals and their families.

“I was absolutely perplexed by it,” she says. “My first thought was that there is something more here than meets the eye. I couldn’t believe that these machines could be that damaging to a person’s life.”

Doran also has some ideas as to why problem gambling, and VLTs, are so prevalant in rural Newfoundland and Labrador.

“Access is a definite factor. The more easily accessible the machines are, the more likely people will play them,” she says. “There was a time when people sat at the bar and would talk, and now the people have left the bar and are up against the back wall, the conversation has stopped.”

“I wanted to show how widespread this problem is,” she says. “To shine the light on it for those who need it. Let people know they’re not alone.”

—

I spent the rest of that first summer pumping just about every cent I had into those machines, pissing away every cent I made. When the summer ended and I stopped making money, I wound up back at university broke and needing to feed my appetite for the slots.

There were days I remember packing up pretty much everything I owned-CD’s, tapes, movies, school books-and walking all around Corner Brook to try and get somebody to buy the stuff. Most days they did. But, on the days when they didn’t… those days were bad. Those days were spent in darkness in my room. Those were the days that I would call home to my folks, or try and borrow cash from a friend so I could go into a bar and make some real money.

—

One of the most outspoken opponents to Video Lotto Terminals in Canada is Halifax-based actor John Dunsworth-best-known as Mr. Jim Leahy of Trailer Park Boys.

“Throughout history, man has felt ‘not in control’,” says Dunsworth from his Alberta hotel room, “There’s a certain joy to sitting at a machine and being transported into a kind of Zen state…”

Dunsworth would know, as he is not only an activist, but also a former addict, going so far as to have himself officially withdrawn from Nova Scotia casinos. Residents of the province can ban themselves from casinos, preventing them from being able to set foot in those casinos ever again.

But, he says, this isn’t the only answer, due to the number of VLTs stationed in pubs and taverns all across the country. It’s almost impossible to avoid the temptation, unless you choose to never leave your house again.

The biggest hook of playing VLTs that keeps most addicts coming back is the “big win.” For most addicts they start out playing the machines with no intention of returning to play more. However, something happens to them if they, by some semi-random act of luck, win. This one win has the possibility of hooking that addict for thousands of dollars more.

“The first time I played the machines I won three times in twenty-four hours. I won over a thousand dollars,” he says. “But that one win cost me many, many thousands of dollars after that.”

“The problem with the machines,” he says, “is it gives intermittent reinforcement. It is proven psychologically that this is the hardest kind of reinforcement to break.”

Intermittent reinforcement comes from the theories of influential American psychologist B.F. Skinner. When you are training a dog to sit, for example, first you show the dog what it means to sit, then you use positive reinforcement, in the form of a treat or a big old scratch on the belly, or maybe a big win on the slots, to condition it. After some time, you can switch to intermittent reinforcement, and the dog doesn’t think it’s in control of the action. Once intermittent reinforcement is in place, the dog expects to be given a treat or to have its belly scratched. Sometimes the dog will even get up and repeat the sitting motion in front of you several times because it can sense that they will eventually be rewarded for this action. It’s a powerful system.

This world of possibility is what pumps through the mind of every problem gambler. It’s a far off delusion that sometime soon lady luck is going to turn around and smile at them.

“People who get hooked on these machines, if they win $400 one day, the next day they’re brazen,” Dunsworth says, “and the whole 400 goes.”

“There are people who can win money and walk away,” he says. “But most people end up programmed by the machines.”

—

I remember cold November mornings at 8am lined up outside of the Plaza Mall in Corner Brook, waiting in the freeze to get in at the machines at some greasy spoon they had up there. Shaking, half from the cold, and half from anticipation. It was a place I chose because the odds of me seeing somebody I knew there were slim to none. I could walk in and out without being seen. This is how I managed to hide my addiction. I would go where nobody would know me.

As a matter of fact I’ve been in every single dive Corner Brook had to offer-and in St. John’s for that matter-at all hours of the day. Not many folks can say they’ve been at the Earl of Water at 10:30am.

I hid my little secret from everyone. Nobody could know.

—

In terms of the thinking patterns of gamblers, the most dangerous of the bunch can be summed up in two words: the chase.

In Henry Lesieur’s book, The Chase: Career of the Compulsive Gambler, he says people in this stage are no longer just thinking about money.

“[The chase] is about running away from the past and the present as much as it is about chasing a fantasy future that will bring an end to suffering. The next bet will solve the problems, alleviate the pain or right all the wrongs.”

The chase happens when the addict has lost far too much money to just turn around and walk out of the bar. At this point, they have to play the machine in order win back the money they’ve lost.

Things become desperate. Many addicts will enter a bar with their weekly wage in hand and deposit those wages directly into the machine in hopes of doubling or tripling their cheque-or to just win back what they lost from last week’s binge. At this point this behavior isn’t fueled by consistent reinforcement, it’s fueled by desperation.

Here it’s easy for the wheels to fall off completely.

It’s at this stage of gambling that the lying, cheating, and stealing can happen. It’s here where the addict is trapped, having gradually shifted closer to giving more to the machine until all they can think about is how to fix what is broken. For many, the only way to fix it is by gambling more.

“If you’re addicted to machines, you’ll end up stealing. You’ll cash in your RRSPs. You’ll end up mortgaging your house,” says Dunsworth. But he’s also quick to point out the fact that not everybody does this.

“It really does prey on people who have a weakness,” says Dunsworth. “And the Government knows this.”

—

I remember waking up in the morning from spending hundreds of dollars the night before… hundreds of dollars I simply didn’t have.

I remember lying. Cheating. Stealing. Anything. Just to feed it.

—

When I was at home I’d tell my folks I’d be going to a friend’s place somewhere, I’d bum some money off of them, tell them I was going to rent a movie or something. In actuality I would take the money and go straight to the bar. Once that was gone, which used to happen relatively quickly, I’d return all embarrassed and say, “I lost that money you gave me,” or I’d search the porch and say, “I don’t know where that could have gone.” I did know though. I knew damn well where it went.

Given all that we now know about problem gambling, the question arises, what is the government doing about this? Have they simply turned a blind eye?

The reason may lie in this simple statistic: in 2005-2006 the government of Newfoundland and Labrador pulled in more than $122 million from VLT machines alone. It’s a staggering number. A number that begs the question be asked again, is the government doing enough to assist people who are devastated by the effects of problem gambling?

John Dunsworth doesn’t think so.

“It’s laughable, it’s less than five per cent of the money they steal from people,” says Dunsworth. “The government relies on the revenue, so they turn a blind eye… They’ve made a choice to capitalize on people’s weaknesses.”

After a study revealed that the residents of Bell Island-population 3,000-pumped more than $1 million into VLTs in 2004, the government couldn’t ignore the problem any longer without facing massive public outcry.

So they changed the way the machines operated in the province. They shortened the number of hours they could be played during the course of a day, and slowed them down by 30 per cent.

The government also reduced the number of machines per establishment, with five machines possible for every liquor license. But some bars have as many as three liquor licenses, meaning up to 15 VLTs.

“It’s not just the collusion between the gambling corporations and the government,” suggests Dunsworth, “it’s the radio stations and newspapers that get the [advertising] revenue. We’re supposed to have strong-whistle blower legislation in Canada, but it’s a joke. It’s an absolute joke.”

When I ask Barbara Doran if she felt the best solution was to eliminate the machines entirely, she responds with six small words:
“Out of sight, out of mind.”

But many groups and organizations established to help assist people affected by problem gambling feel a sense of hopelessness when it comes to eliminating VLTs. It has become a David and Goliath-like battle with non-profit organizations fighting against lotto corporations. Corporations have billions of dollars, and often band together to protect their interests. They aren’t about to allow a small organization toss any stones their way.

Up until December of last year, there was a David in the works here in the province.

A class action suit was filed by St. John’s lawyer Ches Crosbie, who was to represent a large group of VLT players, and argue that VLTs are deceptive devices, and the risks involved with their use are not fully disclosed to the players. Crosbie has argued that VLTs are designated to be inherently deceptive, inherently addictive, and inherently dangerous when used as intended, without any information or warning. And that’s the important part.

“VLTs are unlike any other form of gaming in their concealment of the rules of the game, their manipulation of the player, and in their potential for addiction,” said Crosbie in a press release. The Charter of Rights guarantees the right to life, liberty and security of the person, he said, and “for an agent of the government to expose players to a breach of their Charter rights is a constitutional tort.”

But can a machine be deceptive? All machines are programmed by people. People, as well all know, can be deceptive from time to time-especially with billions of dollars at stake.

The big problem with slot machines, I believe, came when they went from reel based systems (non video) to video based systems. In a reel based system you can see the math in front of you. When dealing with a VLT, all the math is hidden. Anything is possible.

One of the more common complaints of VLT deception involves what’s known as clustering. It’s simply taking a bunch of symbols-like 7’s, Bells, or Jackpot Bars-and making them appear together as they ‘spin’. Clusters usually form just before the spinning stops to give you a near miss. A near-miss entices the player into trying again, because-in the gambler’s mind-they just missed the jackpot.

Misrepresentation of winning is another common ‘cheat’ when discussing deceptive VLT practices. This simply means that the odds printed on the screen are not the actual odds, but merely a fabrication of odds placed there to give the gambler false hope.

“The simplest way to put it is what you see is not what’s going on in the guts of the machine,” insists Crosbie, “what you’re seeing on the screen that is misleading and deceiving the player are false assumptions and conclusions about their actual odds of winning, and what’s being determined in the background is something completely other. So that’s the fundamental deception in VLT’s.”

In December, the class action suit was denied in Surpreme Court. The Atlantic Lottery Corporation convinced the judge that as a Crown agent, it is not subject to the ordinary consumer protection laws in the Trade Practices Act.
None of my friends knew about my addiction. They understood that during the summer I may have played the machines a bit, but they figured once the summer was over I did the same as everyone else, and stopped. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case.

—

I managed to keep it a secret from my family for about three or four years. Then one year in Trinity, my parents had gotten a bank statement delivered to their house. They opened it and saw I had spent a $2,000 scholarship in a day and a half. All the transactions were cash advances from the bar. They thought I was on drugs at first. Then I explained to them that it was like a drug. But it wasn’t the kind of drug they knew about.

What followed that summer was a very hard fall to what most people refer to as rock bottom. If anyone needs to go there, I can easily draw you a map.

The amount of shame I felt because of my addiction to VLTs was tangible. It was as if I was wearing it around me like a cape. Every now and then when I needed to, I yanked it across me and hid in it. All I loved was that feeling. Nothing else was that important to me.

—

One story told in Doran’s powerful and stirring documentary is that of 31 year old Susan Piercey of Corner Brook. Piercey, a university student, began gambling at 18 years of age.

Described by her family as a sweet, fun-loving young girl, Piercey was always smiling and would be friendly to pretty much anybody she met.

Things quickly turned for Piercey once she fell into the world of problem gambling. First she began to gamble away her student loans. While living in St. John’s she worked three separate jobs and could barely save a dime.

It wasn’t long before she began to defraud banks and family members in order to come up with the money to play.

The sweet girl with the smile disappeared, and what was left behind was an addiction that wouldn’t stop.

Piercey spent years trying to find the help she desperately needed to get herself out, including stints in treatment centres in both Corner Brook and Ontario. But none of it appeared to work.

She wrote a letter to the source of her problems: the machine.

“I sold my soul to play your game, you never judged, ever ready to accept my money… You’ve hurt me more than anything or anyone in my life… You made me reach depths I never thought possible, and with my assistance turned me into a liar, a thief, and a con.”

Susan Piercey was discovered unconscious in her parents’ home on July 23rd, 2003. She had overdosed on prescription drugs, died five days later leaving her parents to question how this could happen to their daughter.

The representative plaintiff in the failed class action case was Keith Piercey, her father.

—

The last time I played the machines was back in Cow Head, in August of 2003, at the same row of machines, in the same old motel. I had put in $20, maxed the bet, and hit bells. I won so much money it shut the machine off and forced it to reboot. I believe the total amount I removed from the machines that day was about $1,500. But then I took the money, put it in the bank, and never looked back. Two weeks after finishing the theatre festival I hopped on a plane bound for South Korea where video lotto wasn’t readily available to me. (You could say ‘out of sight, out of mind.’)

The time spent in Korea reinforced my decision and gave me the time to think it through without the temptation of the machines being at every corner.

Now, in 2009, I’m fortunate enough to be able to sit back and reflect on this part of my life. My VLT addiction has made me realize how lucky I am, and appreciate the many wonderful relationships which have come because I recovered. If I hadn’t have made that choice that one day, then I wouldn’t have the life I have now.

That choice made it possible for me to meet my beautiful wife, buy a house, and build a life together. That choice gave me my second chance. And for that, I’m truly grateful.

—

Playing the Machines airs on CBC, Tuesday, March 24th at 10pm ET, 11:30 NL.

If you have a gambling problem and need help, please contact the 24-hour crisis line at 1-888-899-4357 (HELP).

But will it float?

Illustration by Alex Pierson

The idea of a sustainable city has been on the receiving end of much fervour and debate in the past while. It’s one of those concepts that seems easy enough to grasp, but is almost impossible to define clearly. The easiest way out is to say a sustainable city is one which leaves the smallest possible ecological footprint, or generates the smallest amount of pollution possible. Lofty? Excruciatingly intricate? Yes, but it’s all the rage in environmental and urban planning circles these days. You can now earn yourself a degree in Urban Sustainability at York University. You can also visit Curitiba, Brazil, which is often heralded as a shining example of urban sustainability, with a public transport supersystem which 85 per cent of its residents use. Compare that stat with here at home, where 90 per cent of people in St. John’s are car-dependent, and you’ve got yourself a fair idea of where we might fare on the sustainability scale.

In fact, St. John’s is the least sustainable city in Canada. At least according to this year’s survey by Toronto-based environmental business ethics magazine Corporate Knights.

Two weeks ago, the magazine released the results from its third annual ranking of sustainable Canadian cities. Bottoming out the Small City category was good old St. John’s, skidding arse-first across the finish line with a final score of 5.10 out of 10, just behind Whitehorse, Yukon. Next in line in that Small City category was Charlottetown, then Saint John, and then Saskatoon. Yellowknife lorded over the section with a mighty score of 6.14.

Yes, Yellowknife, the capital city of the Northwest Territories. They won last year, too, back when we were second last.

But just who are these Toronto punks and where do they get off dissing our car-dependent, non-recycling ways? How much of a right do they have to call us unsustainable? And what the heck does it mean to be called “Canada’s least sustainable city,” if anything at all? We rounded up the editor of Corporate Knights, a couple of local academics, and a city council watchdog to try and help us sort out these questions and figure out what to make of the whole thing.

By Sarah Smellie.

Melissa Shin is the editor of Corporate Knights, which began in 2002 with a mission to create a magazine that fell somewhere between Adbusters and Forbes. They regularly publish articles by the likes of David Suzuki and Globe and Mail columnist Ken Wiwa, and they’re all about sustainability-themed rankings. They’re the folks responsible for the Global 100 Most Sustainable Corporations rankings, and for anointing Brian Mulroney the Greenest Prime Minister in Canadian History.

“Our magazine is the Canadian magazine for responsible business. And we’re focused on prompting sustainable development in Canada,” says Shin. “We started off just by looking at companies but, realizing that companies operate in cities, we decided to look at municipal policies and what’s happening in cities.” And so the Most Sustainable Cities in Canada Rankings began.

Shin and the Corporate Knights team enlisted the lead adviser from The Natural Step Canada—a non-profit organization which has helped green up businesses like the car-maker Volvo—and a team of advisers from Greening Greater Toronto and Smart Growth BC. Working with a concept of sustainability that incorporates everything from the economic security of the city to its municipal policies, they came up with five categories of “indicators”—specific criteria, like recycling programs and gender diversity on city council. They divided the cities into Small, Medium and Large, then ranked them according to these indicators. All their information was culled from StatsCan reports, academic studies, city websites, and a survey that was completed by a representative from each city hall.

So just how far behind did we end up?

 
St. John’s vs. Yellowknife.
Thankfully, it turns out pagecount didn’t matter much. St. John’s submitted a six page response, compared to Yellowknife’s five, and the whopping thirteen-pager from keeners St. John, New Brunswick.

Asked how many sustainable planning staff the city employs, and what percentage of the city’s annual budget was directed towards sustainability initiatives, we answered “not available.” We were the only city to use this response.

Yellowknife, on the other hand, says it dedicates approximately three out of its 13 staff to sustainable planning issues, for which 5.4% of its budget is allocated. Their response for this included a detailed breakdown on their annual budget to back up their claim.

St. John’s also gave a flat-out “no” to three other questions on the survey: one on whether we had residential or commercial geothermal or solar programs, and two more about whether or not the city provides incentives to build green buildings or to attract eco-friendly businesses.No, no, and no.

Yellowknife, in partnership with the Government of the Northwest Territories, offers all kinds of incentives for solar, wind, and geothermal systems. They have bylaws to enforce minimum energy efficiency standards on all new buildings, standards they claim to be the toughest in the country. They’re also developing a tax reduction plan for businesses who operate in green buildings under green principles.

Yellowknife listed a municipal goal of a 20% reduction in its operational greenhouse gas emissions by 2014. They estimate they’ll be at par by the end of 2009. In contrast, St. John’s touted its membership in the Partnership for Climate Protection Program, which aims for a similar 20% reduction in emissions by 2010. To fulfill their obligations, the city council did draw up its Greenhouse Gas Emissions Reduction Strategy—but the city’s inaction with respect to these emission reduction goals were a topic of discussion at last summer’s Sierra Club AGM.

Shall I go on? In the survey, the city cites its solid waste diversion target of 50% by 2015, but didn’t, however, mention last fall’s delay with the curb-side recycling program, which would take a huge chunk out of the stream of solid waste headed for Robin Hood Bay.

Yellowknife’s goal is to divert 40% of its waste by 2011. Mind you, in 2008 alone, they already diverted about 16% of that. They’ve got a municipal composting program set to gear up this year which should help them increase that number.

Shin found the volume of “no”and “not available” responses on the St. John’s survey especially discouraging.

“I guess measurement is not a priority,” she says. “Some cities would say, ‘This is not under our jurisdiction’ or that they didn’t have a certain program, and then say, ‘but, we have these programs that we have implemented to compliment that.’ It’s unfortunate that St. John’s has so few programs, but there are quite a few studies that they are undertaking that are important to note—for example they did do that pilot project for curb-side recycling, and they’re a part of the Partners For Climate Change Project—but we’d definitely like to see more.”

So what?
Over in the Geography department at MUN, Chris Sharpe, professor of Urban Studies and city consultant, says we ought to think twice before we pack up and move to Yellowknife.

“It was the media relations person who filled [our survey] out,” he says. “And yet,[at city hall] we have a manager of environmental initiatives, Gerri King. She wasn’t asked to fill it out. Ken O’Brien in the planning office hadn’t seen it either. So there is a legitimate question as to whether the person asked to fill it out was the appropriate one.”

“We also have these answers on the St. John’s survey that say ‘not available,’ and we don’t know how they were dealt with [by Corporate Knights],” Sharpe points out.

According to Shin, these answers were weighted in relation to what other cities responses were to the same question. Sometimes they were treated neutrally, sometimes negatively. This didn’t impress Sharpe.

“We don’t have anyone that’s called a sustainable planner. But we have all kinds of people working on environmental issues, like Gerri King. And it’s entirely unclear how that was weighted, if at all. Furthermore, I couldn’t find any indication of what the weighting is. So there’s no information at all that would allow you to unpack these rankings”

Define “sustainable.”
One of the biggest problems with the rankings, Sharpe says, lies in the attempt to define sustainability.

Corporate Knight’s working definition of “sustainable” was quite broad.

“We used the framework of the five categories of indicators: Ecological Integrity, Economic Security, Governance and Empowerment, Infrastructure and Built Environment, and Social Well Being. That would all contribute to a city that could go on into perpetuity, which is the technical definition of sustainability. If a city is riddled with crime and no one’s voting and no one’s employed, it’s probably going to die.”

Sharpe doesn’t believe such a broad definition imparts much concrete meaning to the rankings, or to our bottom-of-the-heap finish.

“Nowhere do they say they consulted the literature,” he says. “There’s a truckload of literature about what sustainability and urban sustainability is, and no two people will define it the same way. And I think that’s part of the problem—they don’t know exactly what they think sustainability is. Is it a process or is it an outcome? Do you measure sustainability by intent or by result?”

“With respect to these indicators, there’s a question of whether you should even be putting all of these different things together into one index,” he continues. “One of the arguments in the literature is that you shouldn’t try to make a composite issue like this. If you’re interested in air quality, just rank air quality.”

“I think there is a lot of validity to that,” chimes in Robin Whitaker, professor of Political Anthropology at MUN. “Even what kinds of practices constitute true sustainability is debatable. Sometimes things have a lot of symbolic weight, but they end up being more cosmetic than real.”

Lionel West, author of the city council watch-blog St. John’s City Council Business, also agrees that the survey method isn’t perfect. But Neither West nor Whitaker think the results are entirely dismissible.

 

“I think the study may be a little flawed in the sense that Corporate Knights, themselves, admit that the data is incomplete because not all cities are able to provide answers to all questions,” says West. “Factoring that in, I believe St John’s does have some way to go before we will receive a higher ranking.”

For example, West thinks the city could be a doing a better job enforcing ecologically sound development, asking, “What ‘green’ initiatives has the city requested for the new hotel developments? Are they telling them to create a recycling program within those new hotels? The same for new condo developments? What about the Tiffany Lane project? What are the city’s building code requirements?”

“I found it frustrating listening to Dennis O’Keefe talk about that drive-thru issue recently,” says Whitaker, referring to the proposed moratorium on new drive-thrus in the city. It was quickly lifted following a meeting with officials from Tim Hortons. “He basically said that it wasn’t their job to stand in the way of business, but all I could think was, ‘wait a minute, yes it is your job!’ Businesses aren’t your only constituency… There are so many other issues—social issues, environmental issues—that go along with the territory, and it was disappointing to have them ignored.”

Social ill-being.
The category where St. John’s really skidded out was Social Well-Being. We finished dead last in that one, despite an impressive allocation as the sixth “happiest” city in Canada, as per the Life Satisfaction and Trust in Neighbours Study, conducted at the Canadian Institute For Advanced Research. So what gives?

“Part of what we based our rating on was that you guys have a 77-year life expectancy,” says Shin. “The rest of Canada is somewhere between 79 and 80-something. In Canada, that’s a pretty significant gap.”

Contributing to those early deaths are things like our obesity rates which, at 36% of the population, is one of the highest in the country, and our violent crime rates, which increased by 20% in 2007—the highest increase in the country. Both of these figures come from Statistics Canada reports.

According to Shin, all the categories are intricately linked. Our dismal showing in this category may be a direct result of poor placings in the others. “If the air you breathe is not clean, you might develop respiratory problems,” she suggests. “You may experience high obesity rates because you aren’t encouraged with cycling paths. Buildings which are energy efficient can help you save money on your energy bills … If people are employed, they’re going to be more inclined to vote, and they might be more inclined to run for municipal government and represent the people around them.” She and her team believe that all of these factors play a huge role in the overall well-being of municipal population.

Huh? This is partly our fault?
One of the things the Corporate Knights ranking does stress is that sustainable cities arise from a joint effort and co-operation between the municipality and its residents. As easy as it is to rail against the city for their eco-blunders, us townsfolk aren’t exactly free of fault. And absolutely everyone on the jury agrees.

“For me, the report is not only a reflection on the city bureaucracy and governance but also its citizens,” says West. “The city cannot bear full responsibility for personal issues such as obesity and low commuter use of public transport. Citizens have to accept some of it.”

“We have a pretty decent framework for public participation here,” says Sharpe. “It doesn’t always work, but in general it’s good.” But you only get a handful of people at public forums or discussions.

People don’t come out to discuss principles of city planning. Is that because people don’t know about these opportunities, or they don’t care, or they’re too happy? I don’t know.”

The bottom line.
So where does this leave us? Are we a parasitic, wasteful, unsustainable city, on the road to massive health problems and a despondent, disenfranchised public?

“Obviously there are positive things that are happening in the city,” says Shin. “Your score overall is 5.1 out of 10, it’s still above halfway, and that’s good to see. All cities in Canada have strides to make. The highest score we had was a little bit above 7.5, I think, so there’s not a huge range. There’s room for improvement across the board.”

Again, Chris Sharpe doesn’t think that the rankings warrant much of a response from anyone.

“It seems to me that the reaction to this would be say, ‘Good for Corporate Knights, they’re trying to raise environmental consciousness,’” he says. “In terms of how they defined things and in terms of how they ranked everybody else, yeah, we’re last. So what? Against what standards? This is not something to get our knickers in a knot about.”

He does, however, think there is work to be done within the city if we want to move towards some semblance of sustainability—definable or not.

“I certainly would not want to give the impression that I’m in favor of everything the city does and that we can’t do better,” he says. “We certainly could do better. Are we trying? Yes. Are we trying as hard as we could? Maybe not.”

Now what?
Despite all the setbacks, we do have a few things going for us. Everyone we spoke with—Sharpe, Whitaker, West and Shin—was quick to point out all of the initiatives and programs which have sprung up in an effort to steer the city onto a more sustainable planning path. Projects like BikeShare, the community gardens at the Lantern and in Rabbittown, new neighbourhood associations popping up, the farmer’s market, For The Love of Learning, and the continuous expansion of the Stella Burry Centre, were proclaimed bright spots in an uncertain future, and indicative of good things to come. It seems if change is going to happen, it’s going to happen first at the street level, at the hands an increasingly active and engaged local population.

“In terms of the municipal government, as I said, there are some programs and some initiatives there and that’s good,” says Shin. “But really making these issues a top-line priority—along with things like the police department and the fire department—is crucial. In terms of the citizens, being more active, looking around and seeing what can be done in your area and what can be done without the city government telling them what to do. People do seem to care. It’s just a matter of turning that into action which has effects on the municipal level.”

Speaking about all the public initiatives on the go, Robin Whitaker suggests coordinating some of those things into larger representative bodies would translate into government results.

“Mechanisms that really allow people to be involved in different ways—because not everyone wants to run in an election—will have some kind of an outcome,” she says.
“My [research] is mostly in Northern Ireland, and one thing that came out of the peace process there was a civic forum that worked alongside the assembly with representatives from all aspects of civil society: business, trade unions, the churches, women’s organizations, whatever. It didn’t have decision-making power, just advisory power, and it was another basis for people to get involved in public life. Maybe a model like that would work for us here.”

Lionel West suggests looking to some of the better-ranked cities for ideas and inspiration.

“The city certainly can be more pro-active on sustainability,” he says. “It should consult with other cities in the survey to learn and share ideas with them.”

For someone who thinks sustainability is a tad pie-in-the-sky, Chris Sharpe proposes the most far-fetched idea of them all:

“You want a sustainable city? Then don’t allow any more Kelsey Drives, or Stavanger Drives,” he says, sitting back in his chair and smirking slightly. “Have a policy that prevents any more box stores. I mean, come on, there’s never been much appetite here for saying no to anyone who wants to develop anything, but, theoretically, if all cities across Canada all said no to stores like Wal-Mart, they’d adjust. And they’d do it real quick.”

inbox@thescope.ca 

Accordion revolution

Geoff Berner

It seems that the rest of North America is starting to wise up to the fact that, when it comes to loving accordions, we’ve been right all along. While the rest of the West was busy lumping accordion and goofy people in lederhosen in the same category, Newfoundland musicians weren’t paying too much attention, and just carried on squeezing out dance music.

Here, T-shirts have long predicted a great accordion uprising, Harry Hibbs’ At The Caribou Club can be found in most record collections, and on August 6, 2005, the Guinness World Record for most accordionists playing a tune together was set in Bannerman Park—at 989 players.

Two popular indie music acts from upalong will be rolling into town in the next while, with accordions in tow.

Elling Lien asks Felicity Hamer (of The United Steelworkers of Montreal) and singer-songwriter Geoff Berner what the big idea is.

GEOFF BERNER
is Vancouver, BC musician who plays what could be described as klezmer punk folk dance. Or something. You can drink to it, think to it, and dance to it. He’s stopping here as part of a cross-country tour in support of his new album, “Klezmer Mongrels”, which is blocked with hilarious, wise, and raucous tunes like “Half German Girlfriend” and a song advising people not to put tobacco in the joints you offer him after the show. He’s written a book called How to be an Accordion Player, and he’s hardcore. Just look at his picture up there.

You’re coming to St. John’s again!
Yes, we’re very excited about coming to St. John’s. It’ll be the last show on this leg of the tour, and then we have a day off there, so we’ll be able to hang out on Sunday. Saturday will be a kind of celebratory blow-out, so it’ll be a big deal, and it seems like St. John’s is the place to do that. …It’s fun there.

Frankly, you’re exotic. You’re difficult to get to, and most Canadian musicians don’t make it there as part of the tour, because of the expense and distance and that kind of thing, so it would seem like a terrible shame to just go play a show and then load out. It would be pathetic.

Yes, but one thing that you didn’t mention is we have a deep, profound, long-standing respect for accordion players here.
I am familiar with that, and I have a deep respect for that deep respect. It’s an indicator of Newfoundland’s more-European style culture. The people in France and Ireland and Scandinavia and Germany, they never had that period where they all hated the accordion, and it sounds like Newfoundland didn’t either.

So you think there was a period in the rest of Canada where people hated the accordion?
In mainstream North American culture, there definitely was a time where people hated the accordion. Have you ever read the book Accordion Crimes, by Annie Proulx?

No I haven’t.
It’s a bunch of linked short stories about all the different cultures that came to North America playing the accordion. This one accordion travels between them, and it shows how people, when they melted into the melting pot of North American culture—especially American culture—they distained their original culture. They wanted to assimilate into the hip, modern, WASPy, Wonderbread culture, and the accordion was something their grandpa did that they wanted to forget. But, for some reason, I don’t think Newfoundland really went through that period of seperation between the generations, or something, like where “I don’t even want to know what my grandpa was into, because that was boring.” I don’t think that Newfoundland was touched by the dead hand of cultural assimilation in the same way.

Was there ever that kind of feeling inside you about accordions?
Not particularly. I was into punky, rocky music when I was a kid, and so I embraced the accordion partly just because regular people seemed to hate it. From a punk rock perspective, that’s a good sign. If everybody else hates it, then it’s definitely worth a look.

Was there a moment when you were younger when you heard an accordion and said, “yeah, I want that”?
Well, yes, about the same year I started listening to punk music, I discovered Tom Waits and the Pogues—pretty much in the same month, I guess—and there’s no question that they made the accordion pretty cool.

What was it about the accordion that interested you?
Well, I was a piano player, and I wanted to tour and busk, and I never was attracted to synthesizers and stuff like that. The accordion was an organic instrument that was portable, which is what really got me started playing it. Then it kind of took over my brain, once I picked it up. It’s a great singer-songwriter instrument, because you’ve got the bass in your left hand, and you’ve got the chords in your right, and you can actually get a lot more going on with it than a guitar as an accompaniment. And these days, there are a lot of people using it that way. Wendy MacNeill, Jason Webley, Anna Bon-Bon… You could definitely put on a festival of accordion singer-songwriters.

Anything you’d like to say about the show?
I’d really just like to emphasize that this music we’ll be playing is drunken dancing music. For us, the show will be a fun, drunk party, and I hope that the audience feels the same way.

Life is about accordions, drinking, and dancing.
Those are the good parts.

Geoff Berner will play at The Ship on Saturday, February 21 along with the Pathological Lovers. Tickets are $7 at the door. www.geoffberner.com

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Photo by Jen Ford.

FELICITY HAMER of THE UNITED STEELWORKERS OF MONTREAL
This band has just released a new album Three on the Tree, bringing another dark-roast blend of upbeat music to dance and cry to. Some might call it country, blues, or bluegrass, but they’d be missing the point—which is that this is a six-member band that will be shaking the walls at CBTGs for three nights in a row. You will know Felicity by her raspy, powerful singing voice (she says she was taught to sing by bartenders) and her beautiful Hohner accordion—which she claims she bought for just 75 dollars on eBay.

So I mentioned before that Geoff Berner is coming to town a week after you guys, and he’s the indie accordion king, so I wanted to talk to you both about accordions.
We played a show with him a couple of years ago! And that was when I was just learning to play. One of our bandmates had just moved to Europe, and he was the only one who played accordion. Looking around at the band, I was the only one who wasn’t holding an instrument, so they passed it over to me. So that night I went over to Geoff and said, “hey, look! I’m trying to learn to accordion!” And he gave me a copy of How to be an Accordion Player, which is hilarious. There are full chapters on choosing the colour of your accordion, and the importance of the shininess. He goes off on these great historical tangents.

When did you happen upon playing the accordion? It was seriously just handed to you?
Yeah, I’ve since gotten my own accordion, because the one that was handed to me was in pretty rough shape. An ex-bandmate of ours, Sean Buymore—who is from Newfoundland, actually—he decided to move to Berlin, and he was the only one who played accordion in the band, so seeing as how I was the only one not playing an instrument at the time, it fell on me to learn his parts and create new parts for the songs. I have to admit, I don’t play very much accordion on the album, but it’s just enough so that we can put the accordion on our logo. [laugh]

It really is a beautiful instrument.
It is! It is. I’m just really bad about making the time to practice, but now that we’re going to be on the road, playing a million shows in a row, I will be actually playing the accordion every day, so perhaps I’ll actually advance. I definitely remember being very intimidated to play in front of Geoff Berner. I remember hoping he would go out for a cigarette during those songs. [laugh] But he didn’t say anything mean.

You guys are often described as folk-punk-country, but is there anything punk about accordion?
Because I’m playing it! [laugh] I bring the punk to the accordion.

We have a really hard time categorizing ourselves, because we don’t fall into the country niche, and we don’t even really fall into the alt-country niche. We don’t really fall into punk, or bluegrass, or any of that stuff, but we have all the elements. So we’re alt-country-cow-punk-grass-folk with some jazzy undertones and a little bit of polka.

The polka, that’s the accordion part maybe?
That’s just when I play the buttons on the left… oom pa pa, oom pa pa… [laugh] That’s the polka element. On the new album, there’s one song called “Son, Your Daddy was Bad” and that’s my contribution—oom pa pa—the whole way through. It’s very tiring on the left arm though, because I don’t practice very much. I’m sure a week into the tour, it’ll be a piece of cake and I’ll have an overly-developed left arm. Actually, until recently I’ve been doing a lot of waitressing, so maybe my arms will even out!

What do you like about the accordion?
I don’t know. It’s pretty. I consider it the better-looking instrument in the band, so it’s nice to be holding it. I never really took to any stringed instruments, and I did a little bit of keyboard when I was young, so a lot of the positions for the chords come naturally to me. As a vocalist, it’s a natural instrument, because it’s easy, even as someone who can’t read music, it’s easier for me to figure out my parts because it’s just like singing.

So you find it more intuitive?
Yeah, it feels intuitive. And also, it’s quite high, pitch-wise, which is great because it’s quite close to my voice. When I’m in a band, I’m used to being up in that range, so with this instrument it’s familiar territory. But mostly because it’s very pretty. [laugh]

The United Steelworkers of Montreal will be at CBTGs on Friday, February 13 (with Black Molly), Saturday, February 14 (with the Angelshakes) and Sunday, February 15 (with Jack Betty and His Bluegrass Boys). 10pm.

For those about to rock…

After a bumper crop of local RPM albums from 2008, this year is shaping up to be bigger and better. Elling Lien contacted some of last year’s successful RPM participants to ask for some their survival tips.

Back in February of 2008, 22 local bands each recorded an album in 29 days.

It was an explosion of new music from a collection of familiar and unfamiliar faces. Some of them you probably knew, some of them you definitely didn’t, some of them you got to know better.

Record Production Month Challenge isn’t a contest. Of the 22 local albums submitted last year there was no winner. There was no loser. That wasn’t the point. It was a challenge designed to encourage musicians to just get to work and spend some time on their music, without the pressure of having to get things perfect.

The idea originated in New Hampshire in 2006, when folks at a small alt-weekly newspaper put the challenge out to its readers. The year after, the paper extended the challenge to everyone, and in 2008, The Scope signed on to lead the charge in the St. John’s area.

Skip forward to 2009.

February is almost here again, and we’re filled with anticipation. To us, these last few days of February are becoming a little like peering over a cliff edge with a restless ocean boiling below: excited, a little nervous, maybe even a little worried for what kinds of aural adventures you have in store.

Already more participants from this area have registered on the RPM Challenge website than in 2008. By the time we went to press, 49 bands have signed on.

That in mind, you know, this could very well be the best February ever. There seems to be a little bit of magic in the air. (Or it could be the -20 windchill freezing my nose hairs, but what difference does it make?)

Turns out many of the suggestions for surviving the RPM are as basic as the challenge itself. After speaking with three successful participants from last year, it seems that much of it boils down to persistence, a healthy fear of deadlines, having fun, and preventing the people around you from strangling you.

I’m on the phone with Damian Lethbridge of the Mount Pearl band am/fm dreams to ask his advice. Even though last year was the band’s first time taking part in the challenge, their RPM album how the aviator sees the rainbow was their seventh home-studio-recorded album.

“I can’t wait to get started, actually. I’m trying not to write anything so we don’t cheat,” he laughs. “We’ve got to restrain ourselves a bit.”

They had such a good time working on their February album last year that he says it wasn’t at all difficult for them to complete.

“I would spend every day of my life doing that if I could,” Lethbridge says. “If I didn’t have to go to work and do all this other stuff, right? It’s really nice to have this excuse to do what you love. It’s an excuse to have a bit of fun and make music.”

The core trio set aside two whole weekends where they worked on writing and recording the album. Each day they worked from when they woke up in the morning to around 10 o’clock at night—when their neighbours could be disturbed.

For Curtis Kilfoy of the band Mopey Mumble-Mouse, coordinating the schedules of five different people meant they couldn’t spend entire weekends working on their album, Bedroom Magic, so for the most part they got together in the evenings, after work.

But still, he respected his neighbour’s right to a good night’s sleep.

“Try to be respectful, and try to find times when they’re out or don’t mind you doing your thing,” says Kilfoy. “Even if they’re cool about things, definitely try not to push your luck.“

He recommends letting them know what you’re up to making all that racket all the time.

“People can be cool about things on a surface level, but they can also have a bad day.”

Sensitive neighbours aren’t the only thing you need to be prepared for though. Kilfoy, who admits his own battle with procrastination has been an uphill one, says with a project like this there are plenty of ways to get distracted.

“If you’re a procrastinator, find some way to have more than one task to turn to if you get sick of one thing or get frustrated,” he says. “Work on a different song, or work on artwork for it, or read something that inspires you.”

“Make your procrastination part of it.”

Going with the flow was also the theme of the band’s creative process for the RPM.

“I usually rehearse with the other members of the band once a week, and we usually have a set plan about what kinds of things we’re going to do and what songs we’ll be working on, but to just get together and see what happens was kind of surprising and rewarding, and definitely brought me closer to the other guys as musicians,” he says. “Most of it was written collaboritively.”

Many RPMers choose to go it alone, however. With solo projects there are fewer scheduling conflicts to deal with.

Local troubadour Adam Baxter was a successful solo participant from last year. Fare Thee Well Tomorrow was a concept album about two lovers in a town invaded by mysterious beasts. Baxter, who can often be spotted performing everywhere from a punk show at Distortion to the St. John’s Farmer’s Market, says it was a friend of his that convinced him to sign up last year.

“A friend of mine said, ‘You really should do this. You play so much around town that it can’t hurt you, so just fucking do it,’” he laughs. “And out of the ten songs I wrote that month, five of them are in regular rotation when I play now, pretty much.”

Baxter likes the intimacy of solo recordings. It meant, however, that he only had himself to rely on. He set up his mic and recorder in his room, then started taping some ideas.

“Then, it hit me one day that I wanted to make as good an album as I could, because I had never really sat down and specifically wrote an album as such,” he says.

For the person reading this, sitting on the fence over whether to sign up or not, Baxter makes it an easy choice.

“There should actually be no fence,” says Baxter. “If you are a musician and a songwriter, and you want something that can further you much better than a lot of things can further you as a songwriter, you should just do it. Straight up, do it. You’re going to learn from it. It’s beneficial through and through. There’s no way it won’t be beneficial to you.”

For more information, or to sign up for this year’s RPM Challenge, visit www.rpmchallenge.com/stjohns

A local kick-off party will take place on Saturday, January 31 from 7:30pm to 9:30pm at the Victory Tavern on Water Street. No cover.

DIY: Drum kit

Drummer Alex Pierson teaches you how to make your own kit.

So the RPM Challenge is upon us once again, and you’re going to need some drums, pronto. Assembling a homemade drum set may seem like a big deal, but it’s actually pretty easy. C’mon… it’s not like you’re making a set of stairs or anything. Really, the hardest part is going to be explaining to the neighbours what the ‘cursed racket’ is all about. All it will take is an afternoon, and a few items that you have kicking around.

Before you set out, keep in mind that many before you have created decent sounding drum sets from household items, and I am willing to bet you’ve heard a record or ten that features some sort of unconventional percussion instruments. The band Elliot Brood, for example, have destroyed many a suitcase in the throes of live performance.

To build your own kit, all it takes is lots and lots of imagination—all hot-glued and duct-taped together.
First things first: the bass drum. The heartbeat. The foundation. It is surprisingly easy to fashion a decent sounding bass drum from a large cardboard box with the lid taped shut. Even an old hard-shell suitcase, or a round plastic garbage can with cardboard cut to the size of the lid will do wonders. And just think: if you’re bringing your new kit to a jam, (or even better, a gig) your bass drum can double as a carrying case. Word!

The tangly part of the homemade bass drum is the kick pedal, and this is the only ‘real’ component that I recommend you buy, since building one is tricky and time-consuming. It’s definitely possible to rig something up—but given the amount of time you are likely to spend creating one, you may as well invest $20 at the pawn shop. I promise you’ll be happy you did. However, if you are bent on assembling one from scratch, there are many internet sites that’ll teach you how. Or feel free to e-mail me and we’ll talk (alex@thescope.ca.) There just isn’t enough space on this page to do it justice.

Whichever route you decide to take, the next step is to attach the pedal to the bass drum. If you’re using a cardboard box, this is easily done with a strip cut from one of the cardboard flaps, taped to the bottom of the drum, protruding out a foot or so, long enough so that you can stick the pedal to it. If you are using a suitcase, you may have to screw a small piece of wood on to the bottom, just so the pedal has something to clamp on to. Also, if you are using a cardboard box, you may want to reinforce (read: duct tape) the place where the beater of the pedal makes contact with the drum so as not to compromise the integrity of your delicate instrument. To change the texture of the sound, you can wrap the beater in some fabric. A sock works well. This’ll also help the drum last longer.

Next, the snare. Any large plastic bucket, turned upside-down will work great. Tape some sheets of old newspaper to the top if you want a decent ‘buzz’ sound. You can also get all kinds of different sounds by lifting a side of the bucket off the ground while playing. Ideally, you want something that you can position between your legs, something tall enough to wail on while sitting comfortably.

From here, things get a little more open-ended. The other drums, or toms, can be made from smaller buckets, or if you are still feeling adventurous, throw together a couple of log drums for yourself. Here all you need is plywood and finishing nails. The size is up to you, as long as you have the four sides, and it should be fairly long, like a rectangular prism. Seal one of the ends shut for maximum logarithm…

Cymbals? Bah! Who needs ‘em when you have trash can lids, stainless steel bowls, pots, pans, baking sheets, and…well, you get the idea. Mount these on top of your box (like a real trap set), or hang them from the ceiling like they used to do back in the day. A quick and easy cymbal stand can be made by taping a broomstick to the side of your box so that it points to the ceiling. Insert a screw in the top, and mount your ‘cymbals’ pro-style. Just be sure to get Mudder’s permission before putting holes in her bakeware.

On top of all this, there’s what you might call the auxiliary—the shakers, the rattlers, the proverbial can o’beans. Tape a couple tambourines to your non-bass drum leg and tuck a shaker into your sock in the place of a high hat. You are only limited by your imagination, and how many shakers you have on hand.
As always, the important thing is enjoy yourself… And be sure to send us audio or video samples at diy@thescope.ca.

Illustration by Tara Fleming

diy@thescope.ca

Best of St. John’s 2008

Well, St. John’s, you’ve done it again. We asked you what you like about this city we call home, and you answered. Tons of you. Your responses were earnest and snarky, laudatory and critical, perfectly reasonable and perfectly incomprehensible, all at the same time. Some were as enigmatic as the City of Legends itself. One of you nominated Live’n’Direct in almost every music-related category; another found a way to vote for the St. John’s Farmers’ market in about eighty different ways. You put in a whole lot of effort, and don’t think we don’t appreciate it.

If you’ve been keeping up with the Scopies since the whole thing started, you’ll find that some of this year’s winners are coming up tops for a third time. Well, we’re retiring their categories and they’re being inducted into the Best of St. John’s Hall of Fame. Well, maybe the categories won’t be retiring forever, but for a while. When St. John’s grows a bakery that dares stand up to the mighty Georgestown, or a fleet of whale charters that has the strength to play David to the Goliath that is O’Brien’s Boat Tours, maybe then we’ll bring these old horses back in from the pasture. Until then, they’re grazing on the sweet, sweet clover of your St. John’s-ly adoration.

So read on, townie! Read on, bayman! Read on, far-off Newfophile! The people have spoken, and we’re going to tell you what they said.

Compiled by Sydney Blackmore, Kerri Breen, Adam Clarke, Dana Cooper, Bryhanna Greenough, Rachel Jean Harding, Elling Lien, Erin McKee, Alex Pierson, Andreae (Dreae) Prozesky, Sarah Smellie, and Dave Sullivan. Photography by Mark Bennett taken at our party at the Rock House in early December.

Edited by Andreae Prozesky.

CITY LIFE
Best St. John’s Citizen (Female) ◆ Best St. John’s Citizen (Male) ◆ Best Local Politician ◆ Best Reason to Move to St. John’s ◆ Best Local Activist ◆ Most Important Local Issue ◆ Best Effort to Improve the City ◆ Best Neighbourhood ◆ Scariest Intersection ◆ Best Animal ◆ Best Local Blog ◆ Best Local Organization ◆ Best Local Slang ◆ Best View ◆ Best Lane ◆ Best Day Trip ◆ Best Place to Go When It’s Raining ◆ Best New Local Trend ◆ Worst New Local Trend ◆ Best Place to Meet a New Lover ◆ Best Pick Up Line ◆ Best Make Out Spot ◆ Most Psychedelic Spot ◆ Best Drag Queen ◆ Most Fashionable Local ◆ Best Cheap Thrill ◆ Best Bathroom ◆ Best Local Event of ‘08

SHOPS & SERVICES
Best Clothing Store (Men) ◆ Best Clothing Store (Women) ◆ Best Convenience Store ◆ Best Second Hand Store ◆ Best Boat Tour ◆ Best Baked Goods ◆ Best Hair Stylist ◆ Best CD Store ◆ Best Musical Instrument Store ◆ Best Real Estate Agent ◆ Best Book Store (New or Used) ◆ Best Place to Buy Comics ◆ Best Bike Shop ◆ Best Cab Driver ◆ Best Video Store ◆ Best Exercise Instructor ◆ Best Place to Work Out ◆ Best Tattoo Artist ◆ Best Veterinarian ◆ Best Doctor ◆ Best Prof

ARTS, ENTERTAINMENT & MEDIA
Best Local Radio Station ◆ Best Local Radio Host ◆ Best Local TV News ◆ Best Local TV Personality ◆ Best Local Poet / Writer ◆ Best Local Visual Artist ◆ Best Local Craftsperson ◆ Best Gallery Exhibit of ‘08 ◆ Best Local Actor (Male) ◆ Best Local Actor (Female) ◆ Best Theatre Company ◆ Best Theatre Production of ‘08 ◆ Best Local Filmmaker ◆ Best Newspaper Writer

FOOD & DRINK
Best Restaurant ◆ Best Local Employer ◆ Best Sandwich ◆ Best New Restaurant ◆ Best Pizza ◆ Best Restaurant When Someone Else is Paying ◆ Best Restaurant for a Quick Bite ◆ Best Restaurant for a First Date ◆ Best International Restaurant ◆ Best Breakfast ◆ Best Fish & Chips ◆ Best Place to Feed Your Sweet Tooth ◆ Best Vegetarian Option at a Non-Vegetarian Restaurant ◆ Best Cup of Coffee ◆ Best Place for People Watching ◆ Best Beer

MUSIC & NIGHTLIFE
Best Musician ◆ Best Band ◆ Best Band to Dance to ◆ Best Loud Band ◆ Best Musician to Enjoy Quietly ◆ Best Local Rock Star ◆ Best Local Diva ◆ Best New Band ◆ Best Local Fan ◆ Best Live Show of ‘08 ◆ Best Band With the Worst Name ◆ Best Music Photographer ◆ Best Jam Space ◆ Best Rapper ◆ Best DJ ◆ Best Open Mic ◆ Best Karaoke ◆ Best Live Venue ◆ Best Place for Cheap Drinks ◆ Best Bartender ◆ Best Place to Play Pool

BOSJ 2008: City Life

Best St. John’s Citizen (Female) ◆ Best St. John’s Citizen (Male) ◆ Best Local Politician ◆ Best Reason to Move to St. John’s ◆ Best Local Activist ◆ Most Important Local Issue ◆ Best Effort to Improve the City ◆ Best Neighbourhood ◆ Scariest Intersection ◆ Best Animal ◆ Best Local Blog ◆ Best Local Organization ◆ Best Local Slang ◆ Best View ◆ Best Lane ◆ Best Day Trip ◆ Best Place to Go When It’s Raining ◆ Best New Local Trend ◆ Worst New Local Trend ◆ Best Place to Meet a New Lover ◆ Best Pick Up Line ◆ Best Make Out Spot ◆ Most Psychedelic Spot ◆ Best Drag Queen ◆ Most Fashionable Local ◆ Best Cheap Thrill ◆ Best Bathroom ◆ Best Local Event of ‘08

Best St. John’s Citizen (Female): Shannie Duff

BEST ST. JOHN’S CITIZEN (FEMALE)
Shannie Duff

No matter what time it is when you read this, former mayor, present city councilor at large, and recipient of the Order of Canada, Shannie Duff, is probably in a meeting. Or scrutinizing the landscape from some far-off hill to determine the impact a proposed building would have on the area. Or overseeing a public meeting about downtown theatre space. Or trying to figure out a way to bring in more affordable housing. Or advocating for downtown architectural heritage preservation. But maybe, just maybe, she’s getting a bit of rest. For the hard work she does, she deserves it. SS

Runner up: Lorraine Michael
Other: Gerry Rogers, Sheilagh O’Leary, Mara Lang, Debbie Hanlon, Sarah Hansen, Marilyn Cooper “because she doesn’t give a fuck!” and “the girl who smiles at Tim Horton’s in the Avalon all the time.”

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BEST ST. JOHN’S CITIZEN (MALE)
Danny Williams

What do we want in a politician? Wisdom? Experience? ‘Spose so, but more importantly, they gotta look good.

I’m not kidding. This goes way back. We’re talking shades of fishing admirals and St. John’s merchant families here. As Newfoundlanders, and particularly as townies, we expect the person in the seat of power to cut a dashing figure. I mean, it’s our representative, after all! What would people think if the premier showed up looking like a dishevelled retired teacher or something? We want the person speaking for us to be successful, powerful, rich, attractive, and given to fiery scenes and romantic rhetoric.

As to his civic duty, who else has done more for St. John’s this year? Danny Chavez endured national ridicule when he made the big hold-out for the big oil money. Now that deal and related developments are keeping this town in a little cash bubble, secure (perhaps) against the current economic crisis. Whatever you might think of his suits, you must admit he does us proud. DC

Runner up: Jack Harris
Other: Andy Jones, Andy Wells, Donnie Dumphy, Andrew Snelgrove, Dave Hopely, Jason Sellars, Jamie Piercey, Terry Reilly.

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BEST LOCAL POLITICIAN
Danny Williams

See Best Citizen (male)

Runner up: Jack Harris. In fact, Danny only took this one from Jack by a mere three votes. That’s close, guys.
Other: Lorraine Michael “for being sensible,” Andy Wells and “anyone but Andy Wells”

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BEST REASON TO MOVE TO ST. JOHN’S
The people

If you ever want a fresh perspective on this mouldy old town, talk to someone who has just arrived. I have a close family member who has just moved here, and he’s floored. The fact that everybody knows one another may be old hat to us seasoned townies, but to a newbie, it’s magical. Forget six degrees of separation: around here it’s a degree and a half at most.

We’re a talented bunch, too, and we’re prolific. The calendar-busting schedule of book launches, album releases, art openings and theatre runs proves that. So what if nobody comes to your album release because they’re all busy mixing albums of their own? At least they’re really, really nice about it. DP

Runner up: Music scene
Other: “The air, the cheer and the beer,” flipper pie, culture, community spirit, cheap rent, cheap tuition, George Street, weather, “it has a soul,” “love?”, “da oil!”, “no earthquakes or tornados,” fish and chips, fog, “yummiest bagels this side of Montreal,” “you can come here to drink your life away and actually be praised for it,” and “sit on the stairs at the war memorial facing the narrows–it’s right in front of you.”

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Best Local Activist: Gerry Rogers

BEST LOCAL ACTIVIST
Gerry Rogers

It’s a little intimidating to meet filmmaker and activist Gerry Rogers. She’s animated, passionate and never turns a blind eye. Rogers was born of a working-class family whose strong social views provided the template for her political consciousness. From there, she credits the experience of working at the Women’s Centre alongside the likes of Iris Kirby with having fueled her passion for activism and community involvement. She was voted in because that passion drives her to speak when others can’t or won’t. To bastardize a truism, if Gerry Rogers didn’t exist, it would be necessary to invent her. AC

Runner up: Katie Temple
Other: Jessica Rendell (Heavenly Creatures), Cara Lewis, Mark Wilson, aka “that vegetable guy from the Idlers,” Erin Aylward, Danny Williams, Gemma Schlamp-Hickey, Greg Malone, Hans Rollman, Lorie Heath, Lorraine Michael, Robin Grant and “Andy Ploughman is the best recycler…”

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MOST IMPORTANT LOCAL ISSUE
Lack of curbside recycling

What are we even supposed to do? Laugh? Cry? Build giant sculptures of sad earths with plastic bottles poking cruelly out of their would-be earth hearts and parade down to city hall en masse, wearing clothes made of old newspapers and plastic bags, throwing yogurt containers and glass jars, and yell and bang our heads repeatedly against the wall until someone comes out and throws us a frickin’ blue box already? I have no idea. SS

Runner up: Harbour clean-up
Other: Snow clearing, arts funding, “building real-city infrastructure while retaining affordable housing,” health care, environment, cycling plan, ”city planning for happy lives for all citizens no matter what their circumstances,” “worms in the summer,” “the amount of small businesses that close,” education, economy, “downtown crackheads,” potholes, “dog poop in public areas,” and “being part of Canada sucks.”

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BEST EFFORT TO IMPROVE THE CITY
Harbour sewage treatment plan

Though most of us don’t like to admit it, the St. John’s harbour has been a big part of our lives. Who hasn’t spent a romantic night around Harbourside, gotten a whiff of its majestic stench and been overcome with symptoms ranging from nausea to seizure to acid flashbacks? That’s all come to a grinding halt now, as the city has invested millions in the multi-step, still-incomplete process of cleaning up our harbour—the butt of more jokes in St. John’s than Brian Tobin and the Strictly Adult Video sign combined. Alas, it’s for the greater good. AC

Runner up: Proposed bike path
Other: George Street revival plan, St. John’s Safer Soils, “getting rid of Andy Wells,” and road repair.

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BEST NEIGHBOURHOOD
Georgestown

Three years running, good old George Winter’s Town, as it once was known, is still coming up tops among Scopie voters. G-town’s got an annual street sale, the best bakery ever, a seemingly inordinate number of ethnomusicology buffs, and a good-time neighbourhood pub. Add to that the awesome experimental garden set up behind The Gathering Place by the Safer Soils crowd and you get a wicked sense of community building and neighbourhoodly love. DP

Runner up: Downtown
Other: Rabbittown, “behind the Delta,” “by The Rooms,” “Quidi Vidi Village … it’s always a few degrees warmers ’round my hood!”

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SCARIEST INTERSECTION
Rawlins Cross (aka “Rawlin’s Cross Your Fingers and Run For Your Life” / “The one by MooMoos… scary enough to melt the cream right off the cone.”)

Intersection? “Intersection” would suggest a proper right-angle of contact between two, and only two, streets. Rawlins Cross is so very much more than that. It’s a veritable asphalt orgy, with Prescott and Monkstown having their dirty way with Military Road, while King’s and Rennie’s Mill Roads peer lewdly and Queen’s Road listens in. It’s a frigging madhouse. The fact that Rawlins Cross was the site of the city’s first stoplight suggests that it’s been a zoo since Sin City’s youth. Throw in today’s cell-phone-talking-while-driving-even-though-it’s-illegal ne’er-do-wells and a good measure of construction, and you’re in a very dangerous place indeed. DP

Runner up: Allandale and Prince Philip. “Even with thirty lights telling people where to go, there are still accidents.”
Other: “All the intersections nearby the Memorial Stadium Dominion,” “Anything along Kenmount Road (for pedestrians anyway),” and “Prince Philip & Thorburn.” Both ends of Garrison Hill got serious votes. That one’s a nightmare.

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BEST ANIMAL
Dog

I don’t know. I’m a cat person, myself. It would seem to me that having a dog, by which I mean “animal that has to be walked about town several times a day just to relieve itself and to work off enough energy to not destroy your house,” in one of the country’s most hellish climates would be, well, stupid. But there’s no arguing with the masses of leash wielders and poop-baggers out there. Did you see the Santa Claus parade this year? Beagles, greyhounds, dachshunds, golden retrievers… all out there, proud as could be. But are they any good at catching mice and alternately sucking up to and ignoring you? I thought not. DP

Runner up: Cat
Other: “Cat Stevens”, “Tuffy, the Georgetown Pub cat,” Chuckie Beans, dust bunnies, “excessive ducks,” “Fish Depot cat,” “flying purple people eater,” mermaid, carpenters, “castrated bull moose,” Goldendoodle, “Kate, cow #260,” “Matty from the Lost/Found cat posters (of staple-gun salute fame),” “Milo the cat from Barnes Road,” “murre–overshadowed by the undeservedly A-list puffin,” Mr. Handsome, “one-legged herring gull atop salt pile,” “shit otters at Harbourview Park ,” Shmoo Dog Roid, “Shylow the Tangled dog,” “snake at Roxxy’s,” “the Labradoodle,” “window and street cats,” “Yow the Cat,” Special Eddy, “orange cat outside Halliday’s,” and “mysterious bird of prey I saw in my yard yesterday.”

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BEST LOCAL BLOG
Blue Kaffee
www.bluekaffee.com

First things first: Blue Kaffee isn’t a blog. It’s an online journal service provider with social networking features and forums.

But now that the technicalities are over with, let’s get into the reasons why it deserves the award. Blue Kaffee started with one guy, then-Holy Heart student Chad “Kaffee” Levesque, who coded his blog in .php as a way to learn the coding language. He then gave his friends usernames, profiles, and eventually their own journals, and the rest, as they say, is history. In five or six years the site grew to have almost 30,000 registered accounts, the majority belonging to local users. During that time the site’s features have been overhauled and improved countless times—painstaking work to do for free. The site almost went tits up more than a few times; it has been funded by small scale fundraisers like movie nights, and oftentimes Levesque’s pocket. Now supported by ads, the site is still alive and kicking, and it’s a strong competitor for the attention of the young despite the prevalence of mega-sites like Facebook and Myspace. KB

Runner up: Sir Robert Bond Papers
Other: Meeker on Media, 48th Parallel Project.

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BEST LOCAL ORGANIZATION
Stella Burry

Stella Burry Community Services oversees Naomi Centre (an emergency shelter for young women) and Emmanuel House (a residential counseling program for adults returning to the community), all the while advocating for affordable housing, and providing residential counselling services and occupational skills training from their Rawlins Cross location. In April, as part of their culinary skills training program, they opened the popular Hungry Heart Café in the old WJ Murphy’s store space, and by mid-next year they hope to have fully transformed the former Lawton’s building across the street into 18 long-term housing units. Whew! That’s a lot of accomplishments for one organization. EM

Runner up: Heavenly Creatures
Other: Farmers’ Market, MUN Oxfam, and… uh… CBTGs?

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BEST LOCAL SLANG
“Yes b’y”

The Urban Dictionary gives a perfect example of this one in action:

— “I want a gold toilet”
— “Yes b’y”

Thrown around by bayfolk and townfolk alike, “yes b’y” is about as multipurpose as it gets when it comes to NL slang. It runs the whole gamut of emotions from amazement and agreement, to disbelief and sarcasm. It’s also useful when trying to reassure others of your supreme powers, although in that case, you’d do well to stretch it out to more of a “yiiiiiiiis b’y”. AP

Runner up: Impossible to calculate. Looks like “Whaddya at?”
Other: “Deadly,” “just for badness,” “dolly used like duckie or m’love,” “Fi’ n’ chi’ (fee-an-chee) = fish and chips,” “howsshecuttin?”, “Luh,” “Missus, yer hot as balls,” “she’s on wheels tonight,” “stunned as me arse,” “yisss,” and “’on a go forward basis’..no sorry, this is the WORST line to ever see the light of day and I think I will puke if I hear another politician use it.”

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BEST VIEW
Signal Hill

Even a cynical-type like myself can go all squishy with St. John’s love staring out across the endless waves or down onto the bustling wee city of legends below. On a real nice night, when you and your mate are holding hands and gazing out at the moon’s reflection on the black, icy ocean, you might be so lucky as to have a bus roll up behind you and let out a dozen drunk office guys with their teetering, permed lady friends, and maybe you’ll get to share the spectacular view with three dudes peeing over the side of the hill, beers in hands. See? Even inebriated morons agree that the view from Signal Hill is awesome. DP

Runner up: The Rooms
Other: KFC on Duckworth, “narrows before the fog comes in,” “first-person point of.”

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BEST LANE
Willicott’s Lane

Although slightly less accessible since the enjoyably dangerous stairs behind The Casbah were closed off, Willicott’s Lane is a brilliant spot if you want to listen in on whatever crazy dinner theatre is happening at the Masonic or take the sneaky route to the Hall. It would be a sweet place to live, I’m sure, so long as you didn’t have to get a car out of there in the winter. Or even get yourself out of there. How would a snow plough even fit down Willicott’s Lane? With great difficulty, my friends, with great difficulty. DP

Runner up: Solomon’s Lane
Other: Mc Murdo’s “You can get a beer, a hot dog, a-ssaulted, and a-rrested all in one night.”

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BEST DAY TRIP
Ferryland

I had the pleasure of attending a reading at the Ferryland lighthouse this summer past, and I’d recommend it in a second. Don’t worry when the lady at the interpretation centre refers to the walk to the lighthouse as “a bit of a hike”; I was hugely pregnant when I went, and I still managed the walk without losing my breath. Once you’re at the lighthouse, which has been gorgeously restored, you can sit in artist Gerry Squires’ old studio and look out onto the desolate, windswept sea. When it starts to get depressing, you get to go downstairs, grab your picnic lunch, and chat with the friendliest lighthouse-turned-picnic-site staff ever. And maybe see whales. DP

Runner up: East Coast Trail
Other: Bell Island, Bidgood’s, “crazy lawn flea market in Mobile,” Cape Spear, Flat Rock, La Manche, “petting the sea slugs at Logy Bay,” Salmonier Nature Park, “Trouting on the Barrens,” “Bay Roberts for some Country Delight Chicken,” “2 grams of mushrooms, walk down Empire, hanging out in a graveyard in Quidi Vidi for two hours.”

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BEST PLACE TO GO WHEN IT’S RAINING
The Rooms
(757-8000)

You know that kids’ book, Olivia, about a little pig who, on rainy days, likes to go to the museum? Well, you won’t see work by Jackson Pollock or Edgar Degas at The Rooms, but you will see a giant squid. And, if you get there soon, you’ll art by the likes of John Haney, Janaki Lennie, Scott Walden, Peter Wilkins, and Ray Roddick. Plus some very cool old bay furniture. There’s every chance it might rain in January, but if it doesn’t you should make your way over anyway. DP

Runner up: Tie between the Avalon Mall and home. Go figure.
Other: Geo Centre, “Outside–you’ll find it a lot less populated,” “wherever you want cuz it’s St. John’s. It rains. Lots. Deal with it!” and “under a tree.”

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BEST NEW LOCAL TREND
St. John’s Farmers’ Market

When some friendly think-global-buy-local types set up at the pre-dinner-theatre Masonic back in aught-seven, the place was mobbed by downtown folk desperate for Avalon produce and artisanal goodies. Through summer and fall 2008, the market divided its time between the Lions Club chalet and the CEI Club on Hamilton Avenue, bringing organic pea shoots, rhubarb-ade, and piping-fresh waffles to the people. Apparently there were enough townies out with their reusable bags and sense of community to make the whole thing stick; the farmers’ market promises to be back at the Lions Club next summer, and is looking for vendors already. DP

Runner up: Donnie Dumphy
Other: Rubber boots, dance parties, fair trade coffee shops, use of verbal -s with stative verbs in non-3rd singular, Hater Blockerz, havin’ babies, bands with xylophones.

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WORST NEW LOCAL TREND
Skinny jeans

For the second year in a row, skinny jeans are the main target of your loathing. And who can blame you? As difficult to pull off as a leopard print unitard, they can make an unsightly ass-loaf out of the most shapely and firm derrières. These days we’re contending with them in crayon-box hues, à la 21 Jump Street. Some clever youngsters have even worked them into the Pants To Hang Your Butt Out Of arsenal, wearing them with a huge, drooping waist and skin-tight legs. I wonder if Mr. Potato Head put up much of a fight when they stole his pants. SS

Runner up: Emo, and things emo-related
Other: Hipsters, “car mania,” “people leaving their Tim Horton’s garbage everywhere,” Donnie Dumphy, “paying $250,000 for a two-bedroom house that’s attached on one side, with no basement,” “boots that look like Peter Pan’s,” “poorly dyed hair,” cocaine, “glass that used to be car windows in the gutter,” “People wearing too many patterns at once. I am going to have a seizure,” “the media and politicians shouting the evils of graffiti,” and traffic.

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BEST PLACE TO MEET A NEW LOVER
George Street

Yes, George Street is still the place to pick up in St John’s and can be a lot of fun on big event nights like Mardi Gras, New Year’s or the George Street Festival. So—though you may regret it in the morning—give ol’ George some love. AC

Runner up: MUN
Other: The Ship, “at a show,” Mighty Whites, Quidi Vidi Dominion on Sundays, PlentyofFish.com, “in a Joel Hynes novel,” “at a wedding,” and “I fail at that one.”

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BEST PICK UP LINE
“Whaddya at?”

The essential Newfoundland greeting, which, again, can be used in a seemingly infinite number of cases, including as an effective pick up line.

“Whaddy’at?”
“Nudding. Youat?”
“Comin’ over to your place.”
“Yes b’y!”

The slurred form of “What are you at?”, slang for “What are you doing (right now)?” People unfamiliar with the dialect are initially confused by the use of “at” in the place of “doing,” but are just so proud of themselves when they finally understand, god love’em. AP

Runner up: Hi
Other: “Come here ‘til I hauls the slacks off ya,” “I work for Jiffy Cabs,” “I aint no fisherman like me father, but I can still reel em in,” “for Political Science types: ‘I’ve got a concentration of power. Can I put it in your system?’”, “By’s I think we’re in Terra Nova, cause I sees a fox,” “Get at me wolf!” “Hey you want to jig my cod?” “Hey misses, what’s ur digits?” “Misses, some cute,” “Trade ya a Bar None token for a kiss,” “Want me to club your seal?” and “Yeah, I worked with Hawksley Workman too!”

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BEST MAKE OUT SPOT
Signal Hill

Ok, I’ve got to ask: why Signal Hill? Do you find the history of transatlantic broadcasts romantic? Does Deadman’s Pond make you shivery? Is it the noon-day gun? Or do you just like to make out collectively, together with dozens of your closest parking buddies? Because on any given night, Signal Hill is _busy_! I must be missing something. Aren’t there other darker, quieter, and more private outdoorsy places to make out within city limits where you are perhaps less likely to encounter a flashlight from your dirty parking neighbour or a patrolling cop car? Here’s hoping the trail crew will be installing some condom machines in the near future. EM

Runner up: Bowring Park
Other: In and around Bar None, at the Farmers’ Market, at home, in a cab, at the office furniture depot on Topsail Road, on a stranger’s lawn, the floating docks by Harbourside Park , and “right here, right now.”

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MOST PSYCHEDELIC SPOT
Bannerman Park

Most psychedelic spot, or do you mean ‘Best Spot to Enjoy Psychedelics?’ We’re beginning to suspect those people skulking around in the park after the first frost are not really looking for a lost contact lens. AP

Runner up: Bar None alley
Other: Signal Hill, Party Bus, glow golf in the Avalon Mall, “the mortal combat style line of trees at the top of Bowring Park,” The Gut, shipyard after midnight, “the white fluffy clouds on the ceiling at Hava Java, and “when the light hits off the Scotia Building on the right side onto that other building.”

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BEST DRAG QUEEN
Joey Mackey

Drag as an art form has a long, colourful history and is always political, even without the competitive elements of Drag Idol. There’s a level of bravery and strength of character one must possess to achieve success at drag, or even to attempt it publicly. The lively scene the queens and kings of St. John’s are creating flies under the radar of many of the city’s denizens, but more than likely they have seen or know the guy who brought a little bit of drag presentation out into the every day. It has been several years since Joey Mackey has performed officially in St. John’s, and he has not lived here for the greater portion of the year, but Joey has left a lasting impression. RJH

Runner up: Betty “Boo” Kakke
Other: Lola, Felicia Cox, Doris Anita Douche, Barry Buckle, “the guy in The Satans,” “No one now that Joey’s moved, “ “the guy who jogs in leotards”, “buddy there, the last mayor,” “I’m a decent tranny,” “I wish I knew their names! They are fabulous,” “I don’t know any drag queens :(“

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Best Fashionable Local: Ruth Lawrence

MOST FASHIONABLE LOCAL
Ruth Lawrence

From the way she tells it, Ruth Lawrence was not the most fashion-conscious growing up and no-one who knew her then would expect her to be singled out for her fine clothes and style. Nowadays it’s a completely different story, as she’s often complimented for her day-to-day fashion sense, as well as her skills in costume design for stage and screen. A self-confessed shopping enthusiast with a love for the feel of clothes and fabrics, Lawrence definitely found her calling which led to costume work on The Divine Ryans and Mary Lewis’ When Ponds Freeze Over. AC

Runner up: Barry Buckle
Other: The Neon Girls, “Our street friend, Marilyn…best platforms and fur coats Ever!”, “Man with rubber boots, suit, tuque, and sometimes sideburns,” “well..if u are looking for your name here..i hate you!”

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BEST CHEAP THRILL
George Street

See “Best Place to Meet a New Lover.”

Runner up: Various Signal Hill-related activities, including driving with no brakes.
Other: Free art openings, “$2 drinks at Distortion,” church sales, “pissing into the wind,” “racing shopping carts at the Village Mall parking lot,” “scoping out Signal Hill make-outs,” “foam pole jousting at the Regatta,” and “revenge sex with your lover’s brother. By far.”

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BEST WASHROOM
Tangled up in Blue
5 Bates Hill (738-0008)

“We get a lot of screams coming out of there,” laughs Tangled up in Blue’s chief tangler, Mara Lang. It’s all Peeping John’s fault, really. He’s the dude in the guy’s washroom watching everyone pee, and he was made by Mara’s friend Pete Myers. Pete even gave him a real glass eye! Things seem tamer over in the women’s washroom, whose stall walls are covered in collages made from pictures from European fashion magazines. But there’s a surprise peeper in there, too . “That one’s more hidden,” Mara says. “You have to look for it.” SS

Runner up: Yellow Belly
Other: The Vault, Basho, Bar None, Coffee Matters on Military Road, Home Depot, “dropping a stinko in the Inco.”

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BEST LOCAL EVENT OF ‘08
Newfoundland & Labrador Folk Festival

Because acoustic guitars, harmonicas and fiddles sound great, even in the rain. Because Bannerman Park feels like your own backyard. Because the province needs more festivals like this one to showcase the talent we’ve got. Because folk music is music, and honestly so. SB

Runner up: 24-Hour Art Marathon
Other: Pride Week, Leonard Cohen at Holy Heart of Mary, A1C Gallery opening, “Uhhh… has anything good happened this year? Let’s see – got my heart broken, had to move in with my mother, dad has terminal cancer… but that C’mon show in April was fun.”

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Photos by Mark Bennett